gender difference

One thing that pisses me off about the aro/ace discourse is that it’s hypocritical. We say that straight people don’t understand us or what we go through but now we’re hurting people who do. The gatekeepers say that because Asexuals and aromantics don’t face their definition of discrimination they aren’t discriminated against. But the thing is, so many feelings I’ve felt as a gay man I know asexuals and aromantics feel. The loneliness, the isolation, the confusion. Because most of these weird and lonely feelings come from being different. From being *queer*.
You can say that because everyone, regardless of sexuality or gender, feels these things, they aren’t definitive of being lgbt+. But the thing we all have in common is that these feelings come from society and how it views sexuality and gender and being different in those regards. So even if you argue that they don’t face direct discrimination, to which I disagree, you can’t say they don’t feel these things. And just like all of you pricks, they need a community and support to understand these fucking feelings.

Tl;dr fuck off and read it or block me

anonymous asked:

Women get paid less than men. Even if a man disagrees with this fact but cant change the way it works, is he still sexist?

you cant always be a fighter or an activist, but all it takes to even spark the idea of change is to talk about it. if you have a collegue of a different gender who has the same job you have, ask them how much theyre paid, and if theres a difference in pay, ask your superior why things are that way.

raycasting replied to your post: i think the reason i tend to fluctuate…

even as a child I have always understood bisexual to mean “same and different gender”. bi and pan both describe me but pan had cissexist connotations when I first saw it being used widely, in that it makes the distinction between trans and cis people of the same gender lol it’s regressive if it’s used as such

oh yea definitely. i’ve seen cis dudes label themselves as pansexual strictly because “i’m straight but i like trans women too” >:S it’s Othering as hell to me and i don’t like it when people use it that way

I’m sick of bisexual characters being called gay as soon as they enter a relationship with someone of the same gender and straight if they date someone of the opposite or different gender. Like??? No??? They’re still bisexual?

soniclozdplove  asked:

We both have a Sonic fan kids with a rocky relationship with Sonic, No Powers being a core source of it, and they literally share the same name... just different gender and spelling

OMG SERIOUSLY ????? That’s so COOL AHH ITS MEANT TO BEEEEE

honestly i’m so done with people saying ace and aro people don’t count as LGBTQ+ or are “just CisHets” like,,, buddy no
heterosexual means attracted to the opposite gender/different gender,,,
ace and aro people are literally attracted to nobody,, they’re by definition not heterosexual

an incomplete list of things readers want in ya, in no particular order, according to a question posed on twitter:

  • unlikable fantasy heroines
  • dragons
  • unipolar depression
    • “high-functioning” depression 
    • girls with depression
    • nonbinary people with depression
      • both of whom save the day!
  • anxiety
    • high-functioning anxiety 
    • chosen ones with anxiety
      • because that’s a stressful job
  • bipolar disorder
  • schizophrenia
  • OCD
  • characters with chronic illness / disabilities
    • without plots to overcome / magically fix their disability
  • mental health representation generally
    • with mental illness that’s maintained / managed
  • books with an emphasis on friendship
    • with friendship that doesn’t turn into a romance!
    • especially between people of different genders? boys and girls don’t automatically fall in love mate
  • books with an emphasis on family
  • books with an emphasis on platonic relationships generally
  • aromantic characters
  • asexual characters
  • aroace characters
  • demisexual characters and relationships
  • pansexual characters
  • polyamorous relationships
  • queer characters generally
    • especially in sff
    • but also literally everything 
    • seriously people just want queer books
    • AND MAKE THEM HAPPY
    • and maybe NOT in a coming out story kthx
  • nonbinary characters
    • especially in sff
    • who aren’t androgynous!
  • butch main characters
  • butch love interests
  • black boys in space
  • black boy wizards
  • intersectional sff generally
    • fantasy worlds that reflect the actual diversity of the world, what a wild concept
  • sff by people of color
  • native american / first nations authors
    • in all genres!
  • native american / first nations characters
    • in all genres!
  • two-spirit love interests
  • Native characters living their lives without the “poor” narrative
  • main characters you legitimately believe might die and aren’t safe just because they’re the main characters
  • guys with long hair
  • girls with short / no hair
  • heroines that are strong physically, not metaphorically 
  • series with different POVs in each book
  • male characters who stink after a week on horseback rather than smelling like fresh pine
  • imperfect chosen one narratives
  • lost princess stories 
  • snarky best friend as the lead books that leave you both confused (“WTF was that!?”) and in awe (“I LOVED IT”)
  • books you can’t place easily in one genre
  • obliteration of “she’s not like other girls” comments
  • girls supporting other girls
  • asian characters!!!
  • original fairy tales / dark, atmospheric contemporary fantasy
  • nonfiction
  • lesbians
  • bi girls
  • bi boys
  • bi characters generally
  • happy f/f ships 
    • especially with trans girls!
  • books that leave you going “well, that was a delight!”
  • characters who don’t get a romance but want one
  • hijaabis
  • teens who love and use science
  • more actual physical ships
    • the ones you sail
    • not the relationship kind
    • the arrrrr, matey kind
  • intersectional characters! (ie: bisexual with anxiety)
  • more than one person with an identity in a cast
    • did you know you can have TWO ASEXUALS in one story
    • whoa
  • retellings
  • selfish heroines
  • queer friendships
  • characters of color who don’t know their race / ethnicity 
  • non-WWII historicals
  • fat characters
    • fat LADY characters
    • who are HAPPY
  • evil narrators who don’t think they’re evil
  • evil narrators who KNOW they’re evil
  • arab main characters
  • healthy parent / child relationship
  • grandparent caretakers
  • parents that aren’t mysteriously dead for Plot Reasons
  • sex positivity
  • healthy views of the first time you have sex
  • hearing-impaired / Hard of Hearing / Deaf protags
  • hearing-impaired / Hard of Hearing / Deaf side characters
  • #ownvoices learning disabilities
    • autism
    • ADHD
    • dyslexia
      • not by parents of people with disabilities
      • ‘cause that’s not ownvoices babes
  • multiracial main characters
  • filipina main characters
  • eccentric thrillers
  • characters overcoming internal struggles without matching external struggles
  • well-written eating disorders
  • quiet stories
    • especially quiet fantasy
    • not every fantasy needs to be WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE
  • abusive controlling dudes getting called out and NOT being the romantic interest
    • abuse isn’t romantic writers sorry not sorry
  • interracial relationships not between POC / white character
  • queer interracial relationships
  • stories set in South Asia
  • stories focusing on social issue
  • multiple points-of-view
  • religious protagonists
  • non-Western narrative structures
  • college stories
  • study abroad stories
  • settings as characters
  • big cities
  • girls playing sports
  • Latinx characters whose families are from more than one country
  • Latinx characters who aren’t JUST mexican
  • books without romance
    • especially fantasy
    • or books with mental illness
  • characters of color saving the world
  • queer characters of color falling in love and getting a HEA
  • queer biracial characters
  • characters of color on book covers
  • queer characters who fall in love with each other
    • because y’know queer people aren’t just side characters or plot points
  • south indian main characters
  • people of color playing sports
    • especially asians
  • dudes of color as love interests without being exotic accessories to white girls
  • soft and gender-nonconforming dudes of color
  • asians of various religious backgrounds
  • dark-skinned heroines
  • disabled heroines
  • trans heroines
  • #ownvoices Jewish stories that aren’t about WWII
  • immigrant / expat stories
  • people who have moved a lot
  • multi-ethnic people and communities
  • immigrant stories
  • nonbinary aroace main character
    • there are currently none
  • contemporary YA set in the caribbean
  • disabled people of color
  • nuanced portrayal of domestic violence  + divorce + single parents in diapora Asian families
  • queer disabled South Asian characters
  • paranormal YA based on nonwhite cultures
  • #ownvoices Asian fantasy
  • #ownvoices arabian / south asian / islam-inspired stories
  • non-European fantasy generally
  • morally grey villains AND heroes
  • kids with a mentally ill parent
  • fantasy characters with allergies or asthma
  • pirates
    • lady pirates!!!
  • dumb but sweet dudes - no secret smarts here
  • books that start with an established romantic relationship
  • silly or rom-com-like SFF
  • main characters with glasses

tl;dr: if you are writing it, somebody is interested in it.

Why is it cute and trendy for girls to wear men’s flannel shirts and baggy boy’s pants but when a man wears anything remotely close to girl’s clothes it’s considered “gay"?

Do you wanna know why?

Do you really wanna know why??

Because our society thinks it’s degrading to be feminine.

We do a much greater disservice to girls, because we raise them to cater to the fragile egos of males. We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls: You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man. If you are the breadwinner in your relationship with a man, pretend that you are not, especially in public, otherwise you will emasculate him.
—  Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, We should all be feminists

The world is kinder to pretty women and that’s always going to sting.

For me, all I’m going to focus on is to make sure I don’t treat her any differently. I don’t want her to grow up thinking that her gender makes a difference… I want her to be a good person and make good choices, but I don’t want to push her in a direction that I want her to go. But I do want her to feel like her gender doesn’t limit what direction she can go.
—  Ryan Haywood on the way he tries to raise his daughter, Always Open #21

Lamb, P. F., & Veith, D. L. (1986). Romantic myth, transcendence, and Star Trek zines. Erotic universe: Sexuality and fantastic literature, 235-55.

One of the earliest pieces of research published about fan fiction, Lamb and Veith’s essay is a first crack at answering the foundational question of fan studies: why do straight women read and write about men banging? Lamb and Veith focus their analysis on Kirk/Spock slash. They argue that in fan fiction, rather than being presented as masculine, both characters become androgynous by acquiring both typically masculine and typically feminine characteristics, which often complement each other. By removing gender differences from the equation, fan fiction writers are free to explore relationships which are genuinely equal and unencumbered by power dynamics.


Image description

A table reproduced from Lamb and Veith’s essay outlining the different feminine and masculine characteristics given to Kirk and Spock in K/S fan fiction.

Kirk feminine qualities: Femininely “beautiful”; shorter, physically weaker; emotional; intuitive; sensuous, engages in much physical touching; verbal; evokes powerful emotional responses from others

Spock masculine qualities: Masculinely rugged; taller, more powerful; logical; rational; controlled, physically distant; reticent; keeps others at a distance

Kirk masculine qualities: Sexually ready at all times; is undisputed leader, initiator of action; is the “real” or “norm”, always at home; is fulfilled prior to Spock, only with acceptance of the bond is he firmly united with Spock; Spock complements his “at-homeness”; is sexually promiscuous (Spock assures his fidelity); is usually the seducer

Spock feminine qualities: Sexually controlled (except during his Vulcan mating cycle); needs to be led, follows Kirk into action; is the “alien” or “other”, always the “outsider”; is fulfilled only with Kirk; felt one-sided fidelity to Kirk even before the bond; needs Kirk for full identity; a virgin until marriage, he exhibits absolute monogamy after marriage; is usually seduced, but once unleashed his sexuality is very powerful