gender difference

What’s The Difference Between Bisexuality and Pansexuality?

SO there’s this political facebook page I’ve been following for a long time that posts great memes and articles, but yesterday they posted a meme of a skeleton like “Me waiting for pansexuals to explain how they’re different from bisexuals”.
((For anybody who wants to know the page for avoidance purposes it’s called “The Ministry of Bisexual Propaganda”. Don’t send hate mail, because that makes you honestly worse than them))
And as a pansexual, I realize it’s hard to explain the difference, especially off the top of your head, especially to people who don’t accept the reality that there’s more than two genders found in human beings. So here I am, let me explain the difference to you.

First you need to look at gender. Gender is a spectrum, as is recognised by most doctors, and scientists.
A persons gender is not quite the same thing as a persons sex (their genitalia). Though, certain genders are associated with certain sex.
Gender is a spectrum as gender is a social construct.
Sex is generally what’s in your pants.
“There’s only two genders you damn special snowflakes!” You may say, in which case, you’re thinking of a persons sex, their genitalia, in which case, you’re still wrong.
In the case of genitalia there’s actually three ways it can be down there (that I am currently aware of). You can have a penis, which is medically classified as male genitalia. You can have a vagina which is classified as female genitalia. You can have both or parts of both which is classified as intersex.
Intersex is not the same as being trans.
Trans people were born in a body that doesn’t match their gender. Intersex people were born with genitalia and gendered features of both the better known sexes.
There’s as many intersex people in the general population as there are people with red hair, so don’t dismiss them because they’re a lesser known and less visible minority.

Now, back to the main explanation at hand.
Bisexuality means you are attracted to two genders or sexes (this doesn’t necessarily mean they’re limited to being attracted to men and women, which aren’t always synonymous with male and female).
It’s literally the point of the name (Bi = Two).

Now, pansexuality is different in the sense that it isn’t limited to the number two. A pansexual person can experience attraction to a person without being limited by gender identity or sex, which we’ve already established that there’s more than two of both.(Not to say that pansexuals can’t have preference, they absolutely can)

Hate me or love me, this is the explanation to the difference between the two sexualities. Both of which being completely valid sexualities.
But when it comes down to it, they’re just labels. Just love who you want to love and can we stop poo-pooing on other people for their sexualities already?

the only one I have to pick with mass effect is the lack of variation in the aliens tbh

☐male ☐female ☐other ☑none

Happy Pride!  I’m agender.

What does that mean?

Well, we talk about gender as being a spectrum, and a lot of the time, people hear “spectrum” and think of the spectrum of visible light, which looks something like this:

Many people think of “male” and “female” as being two extreme poles, and assume that anyone nonbinary is somewhere in the center.  

This gives a sort of inaccurate idea of view of gender, though.  The idea that “male” and “female” are “opposites” at the ends of a long line does a lot of disservice to both binary male and female people (cis or trans) and leads us into the kind of thinking that gives rise to things like rigid gender roles that put so much pressure on male and female people.

The two “binary” genders we are most familiar with are a lot more similar in a lot of ways than either of them are to some other genders, and a lot more complementary than opposing. So, illustrating them as polar extremes is silly! 

But that doesn’t mean we have to throw out the spectrum analogy! If you learned color theory or have used many graphics programs, you are probably familiar with a spectrum that looks more like this:

This is a much more useful illustration for how people relate to gender.  There are places where colors overlap and places where they do not.  A person’s identity might be one gender or a combination of more than one.  For people who identify as more than one gender, they might experience them all at once, or one at a time, or somewhere in between.  

Just like two colors that are different combinations of the same two primary colors, two people who identify the same way, might engage with their respective identities differently– and one person’s relationship to their own gender identity might change from day to day. You can visualize quite quickly when looking at a wheel that it’s easy to travel from one point on the wheel to another, and traveling from 1 to 10 doesn’t always mean passing through 4 or 6 to get there– everyone can have a different journey and identify in many different ways over the course of their life (or, for some people, even in the course of a short amount of time) and there are many ways to get to the same place.  

Well, that’s cool, Tea, you say, but you’re only talking about people with gender identities, and you said you don’t have one.  How do you fit into this model?

Well, I still have an external experience of gender, because of the ways that I interact with gender expression and presentation, and because I still have an assigned gender, and all of the external experiences of being perceived as having a gender, but it’s entirely external and has no internal identity component– that is, no little voice or guide or compass telling me what my gender identity is. The way I relate to gender has zero overlap with internal gender identity, which is something I only know exists because enough people with an internal gender identity have told me they definitely have one, and I trust my friends’ accounts of their internal experiences, just as they trust mine.

So, to put it another way: 

anonymous asked:

how do you feel about people calling maitho gay (ya know rather than bi)? ive seen it a few times now and wasnt really sure how to feel about it myself, so i was wonder what you thought since he's your oc

i think it depends on the context? sometimes if people are like “maitho that’s gay” if he does something romantically charged towards cooper i’m like “lol fuck yeah it is” but if people say something like inferring “maitho is gay and he’s only attracted to men” i’m like “mmmmno he’s bi”

i’m also bi and sometimes if i see someone who’s the same gender as me i’ll just be like “oh my god i’m so gay” (even though i’m married to a person who’s a different gender than me)

i understand the need to prevent bi erasure and i want to make it clear that maitho is attracted to both the same and other genders, even though his attraction to cooper has kind of taken the lead in the storytelling so far. i want to make sure people don’t forget that he’s just as attracted to caprice as he is to cooper!

anonymous asked:

So you're open to dating any gender but do you still identify with being straight? Sexuality is so fluid and it gets me mad when my friend tells me that I'm not gay. I identify as gay but I can't necessarily say that I'll NEVER be attracted to a different gender. What's your opinion on sexuality and the fluidity of it and labels?

shit man i just say i’m bi so i don’t confuse my cishet 12 year old followers. but i’m just queer my dude.

gay ask game for gays only

1. describe your idea of a perfect date

2. whats your “type”

3. do you want kids?

4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth?

5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been on

6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?)

7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay?

8. opinion on nap dates?

9. opinion on brown eyes?

10. dog gay or cat gay?

11. would you ever date someone who owned rodents or reptiles?

12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someone

13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?

14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger self

15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders?

16. who is an ex you regret?

17. night club gay or cafe gay?

18. who is one person you would “go straight” for

19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay?

20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)

21. favourite gay youtuber

22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?

23. have you ever been in love?

24. have you ever been heartbroken?

25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someone

26. favourite lgb musician/band

27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gays

28. are you out? if so how did you come out

29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have 

30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexuality

People really don’t understand the difference between a character being attractive and being intended for consumption by the other gender.

There’s a big difference between a character looking hot and a character being intended for sexualization. There are lots of attractive characters out there that aren’t intended to be consumed by other genders, objectified, and sexualized. For example:

Batman. Undeniably attractive. He is good looking.

But he was not intended for consumption by women. He get’s power poses and muscles because that’s how men want their male heroes, the one’s they aspire to be like and project onto, to look.

By contrast look at Black Widow. She is intended for male consumption.

She doesn’t have long legs, a tiny waist, a pronounced butt, and big boobs because that is what women want their heroes to look like. She looks like that because that’s what men want their women heroes, the one’s they picture themselves romancing, to look like. She’s not just attractive, she is also sexualized and intended for a male audience.

Now look at a male character meant for women. Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon.

He’s not buff and bulky, he’s long, lean, and well dressed. This is what women want their hero men, the one’s they want to fall in love with, to look like. This isn’t a male fantasy, this is a female one. 

Now look at a women intended for women. The main characters from Totally Spies.

They have small waists and long legs yes but their boobs and butts aren’t particularly noticeable. They get power poses instead of one’s intended to sexualize. They look like this because this is what women want to project themselves on. This is a women’s power fantasy. This is closer in comparison to Batman, good looking but powerful, than it is to Black Widow, sexualized. 

Now are all of these characters attractive? Yes. But do you see the difference between sexy and sexualized? Sexy depends on the ‘type’ of the viewer and what they like in men and women. Sexualized has less to do with what you personally think is hot and more to do with what society as a whole thinks is hot. So when I say that Wonder Woman in the movie was not meant for male consumption I am not saying she isn’t beautiful, sexy, or attractive (I left that movie gayer than I was before). What I am saying is that she was posed, treated, costumed, and written more like an attractive human than like an object for men to gawk at.

Things that don’t make a person any less beautiful for having:

- stretch marks
- acne
- skin conditions
- overbites
- scars
- body fat
- eye bags/dark circles
- mental illnesses
- disabilities
- low self esteem
- speech impediments
- trauma
- a different gender than the one they were assigned
- sex
- to take medication
- eating disorders

quick queer rant

im really tired of people within the LGBTQ+ community pointing fingers at each other and saying “you don’t really belong because you benefit from [insert type of privilege here]”

a cishet asexual still suffers from marginalization. their sexuality has been pathologized as a mental illness right along with gayness and transness. in a hypersexual heternormative culture where we’re told we must enjoy sex and we must be in relationships, an asexual person is made to feel as if they’re broken, as if they don’t exist, as if forcing sex and intimacy on them is a corrective measure to “fix them”

a straight trans woman still suffers from marginalization. being able to “pass” as a woman while also being in a relationship with a man does not negate the fact that trans people face the most violence out of anyone in the queer community, must face a society that enforces a standard of womanhood that may not necessarily apply to them, and must navigate a political climate that seeks to banish them from public spaces and paint them as criminals

a bisexual man in a relationships with a woman still suffers from marginalization. compulsory heterosexuality not only erases this identity but enforces this idea that bisexuality is a phase or a kink that can soon be grown out of. bisexuality is the largest subset of the LGBTQ+ community yet has the least amount of representation and leaves bi people more likely to have mental illnesses. being constantly recloseted when you date different genders has psychological and emotional consequences

individuals in a polyamorous relationship still suffer from marginalization. they exist in a society that hails monogamy as the only acceptable relationship model and attempts to make polyamorous individuals feel as if their relationships are abnormal, deviant, and inappropriate for children. they are treated as the example of what not to do, seeing as how society fails to acknowledge the breadth of relationship models that don’t necessarily have to include just two people. 

examples like these can go on and on and on and on

these critiques also exist without the context of race, ethnicity, immigration status, ability, and/or religion. we’re so focused on worrying about whether certain queer identities even belong in the LGBTQ+ umbrella yet fail to see how whiteness, Christianity, citizenship laws, access to disability services, etc. further compound on the experiences of those who are told by a cishet world that we are abnormal. 

and that’s what it comes down to: there is a formula for privilege in our society, and part of that formula involves being straight, being cis, wanting to marry, desiring sex, and believing in only two genders. queerness was always meant to represent those who live in opposition of those formulas, in opposition of systems that enforce and perpetuate those formulas. 

our job is not to gatekeep our community because that is childish and unproductive. our job is to understand the systems that oppress us, figure out how to navigate/change these systems, and advocate for all people who fall victim to the violence and oppression that these systems were created to enforce. 

we don’t do that by telling people that they don’t belong in our communities bc “they’re not as oppressed as we are.” this isn’t the oppression olympics. this is a time to fight, to love, and to advocate. 

It bothers me to see how many people are saying stuff like “I thought Bill Nye was supposed to be the science guy, he’s buying into this SJW cuck libtard stuff! Science says there are only two genders!” in response to Bill Nye covering gender and sexuality on Bill Nye Saves the World.

…Like, did they even listen to what he said? Have they read any peer-reviewed literature about the subject? Is their understanding of “gender” limited to a middle school understanding of X and Y chromosomes? Bill Nye addressed chromosomes, hormones, genitalia and secondary sex characteristics when talking about how some of us don’t fit into the male/female sex dichotomy, and brought up psychology and neuroscience when talking about gender and its difference from sex, and also sexuality. The actual science of sex, gender and sexuality across the animal kingdom and across human behaviour is far more interesting than “lol nope science says there are only two genders.” 

It honestly makes me angry when people say “lol I thought this was about science” whenever a scientist says something about topics like gender, sexuality, climate change or evolution that annoys someone. You can’t just pretend science is on your side when your understanding of science is based on a grade school textbook.

Also, why is it only gender people seem to have a problem with? Yeah, basic school textbooks will talk about XX and XY chromosomes and the male and female reproductive system, but they’ll also talk about how humans have five fingers on each hand and how the eye works when everyone knows some humans are born with six fingers on each hand or born blind. Textbooks will talk about how our body metabolises fats, but nobody would say “lol no sorry science says otherwise” at someone (like one of my secondary school classmates) who had a rare disorder who couldn’t metabolise fats. We accept that sweeping statements about human biology are generalisations. Sure, there are limits - no humans have wings or feathers, that would go against science - but we all accept some level of human diversity outside the basic-level textbooks - diversity that’s described well in the advanced medical textbooks. So why is it people only apply this logic to gender and not other differences in human biology?

I think part of it could be the backlash against postmodern nonsense which suggests everything is opinion and science is no more objective than art, which is a blatantly anti-science attitude. But the idea that sex, gender and sexuality aren’t totally binary isn’t just postmodern gender theory, it’s actual science with empirical evidence to back it up. 

In a few “fan fiction” episodes, the show changes from the adventures of Finn and Jake to those of Fionna and Cake, where every character is a different gender. But it’s essentially just a cosmetic change. Every character retains their original personality, especially Fionna, who just like Finn is brave, strong, and a bit of a dork.

None of that went away when her balls migrated inwards because, and this is important, your genitals don’t have to dictate how you live your life. Except for Deathray-Dick Johnny but I like to think he’s the exception that proves the rule. Always in our hearts, Deathray-Dick.

Feminism started out as a fight for basic civil rights for women, then equal rights, and today, it’s essentially about the freedom of choice, and Fionna is the perfect example of that.

She wears dresses. When she wants. She doesn’t need a boyfriend now. But she’s open to the idea in the future. She kicks ass. But the show doesn’t call her a tomboy for that, nor does she make it a cornerstone of her whole personality. On its own, that wouldn’t mean all that much. But because Fionna exists solely as the female version of a male character, her non-stereotypical characterization becomes a powerful feminist message, namely: You do you, no matter what’s between your legs.

5 Fictional Characters That Should Be Studied In Schools

10 ways you can take action and be an ally to trans people

1. Educate yourself. Find out how here

2. Use a person’s correct gender pronouns when referring to or speaking with them. If you aren’t sure what pronouns to use, it’s alright to politely ask. For example, you could say “what pronouns do you use?” or “Hi, my name is Shane and my pronouns are they/them. What about you?” Do not ask for a transgender person’s “real name.” You can also join this DoSomething.org campaign to challenge your classmates to not use masculine/feminine pronouns for a day.

3. Speak to transgender people like you would cisgender people, or people that are not transgender. Avoid comments that you wouldn’t say to cisgender people such as:

a. “He’s so hot. I’d date him even though he’s transgender.”

b. “You look like a real woman.”

c. “You look so pretty, I would have never known you weren’t a real woman.”

d. “What was it like being born a boy?”

e. “What surgeries have you had?”

f. “What’s it like to have sex as a transgender?

g. You’d pass so much better if you wore more/less make-up, had a better wig, etc.”

Read more here

#4: Seek out and listen to the stories of transgender people in your community. Speak out in solidarity when you read stories about transgender people facing violence or the startling number of transgender women who have been murdered because of who they are.

#5. Share positive things you’re seeing regarding why trans rights matter on social media using #goodlook and Laverne Cox’s #TransIsBeautiful

#6: Keep updated on what’s going on in the trans community by liking the TransAdvocate and National Center for Transgender Equality pages on Facebook. 

7. Call out gender policing that discriminates against a person’s level of masculinity or femininity when you see it. 

8. Advocate for all-gender bathrooms in your school or community. You can start a petition here to get gender neutral bathrooms on your campus.

9. Join a local Gay-Straight Alliance through GLSEN or the GSA Network, or learn how to take action on your college campus with Campus Pride.

10. Take part in Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day to honor those victims of anti-transgender violence, on Nov. 20.

For even more tips on how to be an ally to trans people, check out this list from our partners at GLAAD.

ime bi people’s m/f relationships look Really Different from relationships between two straight people because bi folks have usually done a lot more questioning of heteropatriarchy and the Standard Straight Relationship Script. so like, for the most part, we handle gender roles differently, we handle sex differently (idk about hard science but I’ve read and heard a ton of anecdotes about bi folks being way less invested in piv than straight folks), we conduct our relationships in ways that work for us rather than conforming to the default heteronormative narrative b/c most of us have realized that that’s not the only option.

and the statistics from the CDC, the ones that reveal that bi men and women experience more intimate partner violence than straight or gay people in their gender groups, the ones that reveal that perpetrators of ipv against bi people are largely of the “opposite” gender…I think those do a lot to confirm that bi folks conduct their m/f relationships a lot differently than straight people, and are punished for it by straight partners who want them to conform to heteronormativity.

so please, please don’t dismiss these very significant differences by claiming that our m/f relationships are het/straight relationships or that we’re “het partnered” or anything else to imply that we’re the same as straight people in certain contexts because we’re really not.

💗💜💙If you are bisexual I love, respect, and support you. I know it does not make you a cheat, or greedy, or untrustworthy. I know it’s not a phase or a stepping stone to being ‘fully gay’. I know you are not just straight and looking for attention. I know that finding someone and falling in love doesn’t mean you’ve ‘picked a side’. I know that being bi doesn’t mean you will always be on the brink of being tempted by someone of a different gender, even when you are in love. I know you are no more likely to be unfaithful than anybody else. I know that you are important, and valued, and deserve to be happy. 💗💜💙

wsj.com
Men Shout, and Women Scream—at Least in Fiction
A statistical analysis shows a clear gender divide in the words that novelists use to describe their characters
By Ben Blatt

Our fictional universe also turns out to contain words that male authors use to describe female characters but which a woman would rarely use to describe herself or another woman. These words seem to highlight the biggest differences in how male and female authors view the world.

One key word here: interrupted. In each of our three categories (classics, popular fiction and literary fiction), male writers are at least 75% more likely to have their female characters interrupt than their male ones. Meanwhile, female authors didn’t discernibly differ in the frequency with which they have their characters of both genders interrupt.

Similarly, female authors use sob at about the same rate for their male and female characters—but male writers hardly ever use it to describe their own male characters. Male authors seem, consciously or not, to hold that if “real men don’t cry,” then “fictional men don’t sob.”

Really interesting article. If the link doesn’t work for you, try clinking through this twitter post: https://twitter.com/jessesheidlower/status/842400218922508288