gender difference

just a quick note- no trans person has ever said “did you just assume my gender.” trans people are very aware of how their gender and physical appearance differ and that visually one might assume that they are a man/woman when they are actually not. that’s kind of the whole idea of gender dysphoria. 

People really don’t understand the difference between a character being attractive and being intended for consumption by the other gender.

There’s a big difference between a character looking hot and a character being intended for sexualization. There are lots of attractive characters out there that aren’t intended to be consumed by other genders, objectified, and sexualized. For example:

Batman. Undeniably attractive. He is good looking.

But he was not intended for consumption by women. He get’s power poses and muscles because that’s how men want their male heroes, the one’s they aspire to be like and project onto, to look.

By contrast look at Black Widow. She is intended for male consumption.

She doesn’t have long legs, a tiny waist, a pronounced butt, and big boobs because that is what women want their heroes to look like. She looks like that because that’s what men want their women heroes, the one’s they picture themselves romancing, to look like. She’s not just attractive, she is also sexualized and intended for a male audience.

Now look at a male character meant for women. Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon.

He’s not buff and bulky, he’s long, lean, and well dressed. This is what women want their hero men, the one’s they want to fall in love with, to look like. This isn’t a male fantasy, this is a female one. 

Now look at a women intended for women. The main characters from Totally Spies.

They have small waists and long legs yes but their boobs and butts aren’t particularly noticeable. They get power poses instead of one’s intended to sexualize. They look like this because this is what women want to project themselves on. This is a women’s power fantasy. This is closer in comparison to Batman, good looking but powerful, than it is to Black Widow, sexualized. 

Now are all of these characters attractive? Yes. But do you see the difference between sexy and sexualized? Sexy depends on the ‘type’ of the viewer and what they like in men and women. Sexualized has less to do with what you personally think is hot and more to do with what society as a whole thinks is hot. So when I say that Wonder Woman in the movie was not meant for male consumption I am not saying she isn’t beautiful, sexy, or attractive (I left that movie gayer than I was before). What I am saying is that she was posed, treated, costumed, and written more like an attractive human than like an object for men to gawk at.

Things that don’t make a person any less beautiful for having:

- stretch marks
- acne
- skin conditions
- overbites
- scars
- body fat
- eye bags/dark circles
- mental illnesses
- disabilities
- low self esteem
- speech impediments
- trauma
- a different gender than the one they were assigned
- sex
- to take medication
- eating disorders

Shout Out To Trans People Who...

…are forced to give their birth name in places like Starbucks

…have corrected their friends/family when using the wrong name/pronouns but still are disrespected and misgendered

…are forced to put their birth name on application forms

…have to come out multiple time to people because they have forgotten, don’t believe you or think it’s a phase

…have come out as a gender they identify with then later identify with a different gender and have to come out all over again

…are told, “you’ll always be _______ in my eyes”

…are outed because they came out to some people but not others

You are loved and valid and all of you are gorgeous. I believe in you 💞

hey if ur straight u don’t get opinions on same gender couples in media like we get to decide if the representation is good we get to decide if there’s chemistry we get to decide if it’s realistic because being in a straight relationship is a different world tbh so you wouldn’t know and it’s not up to you and it’s actually really damaging because it’s hard enough to get representation and straight people invalidating the little bit of good rep we have isn’t doing us any favours

quick queer rant

im really tired of people within the LGBTQ+ community pointing fingers at each other and saying “you don’t really belong because you benefit from [insert type of privilege here]”

a cishet asexual still suffers from marginalization. their sexuality has been pathologized as a mental illness right along with gayness and transness. in a hypersexual heternormative culture where we’re told we must enjoy sex and we must be in relationships, an asexual person is made to feel as if they’re broken, as if they don’t exist, as if forcing sex and intimacy on them is a corrective measure to “fix them”

a straight trans woman still suffers from marginalization. being able to “pass” as a woman while also being in a relationship with a man does not negate the fact that trans people face the most violence out of anyone in the queer community, must face a society that enforces a standard of womanhood that may not necessarily apply to them, and must navigate a political climate that seeks to banish them from public spaces and paint them as criminals

a bisexual man in a relationships with a woman still suffers from marginalization. compulsory heterosexuality not only erases this identity but enforces this idea that bisexuality is a phase or a kink that can soon be grown out of. bisexuality is the largest subset of the LGBTQ+ community yet has the least amount of representation and leaves bi people more likely to have mental illnesses. being constantly recloseted when you date different genders has psychological and emotional consequences

individuals in a polyamorous relationship still suffer from marginalization. they exist in a society that hails monogamy as the only acceptable relationship model and attempts to make polyamorous individuals feel as if their relationships are abnormal, deviant, and inappropriate for children. they are treated as the example of what not to do, seeing as how society fails to acknowledge the breadth of relationship models that don’t necessarily have to include just two people. 

examples like these can go on and on and on and on

these critiques also exist without the context of race, ethnicity, immigration status, ability, and/or religion. we’re so focused on worrying about whether certain queer identities even belong in the LGBTQ+ umbrella yet fail to see how whiteness, Christianity, citizenship laws, access to disability services, etc. further compound on the experiences of those who are told by a cishet world that we are abnormal. 

and that’s what it comes down to: there is a formula for privilege in our society, and part of that formula involves being straight, being cis, wanting to marry, desiring sex, and believing in only two genders. queerness was always meant to represent those who live in opposition of those formulas, in opposition of systems that enforce and perpetuate those formulas. 

our job is not to gatekeep our community because that is childish and unproductive. our job is to understand the systems that oppress us, figure out how to navigate/change these systems, and advocate for all people who fall victim to the violence and oppression that these systems were created to enforce. 

we don’t do that by telling people that they don’t belong in our communities bc “they’re not as oppressed as we are.” this isn’t the oppression olympics. this is a time to fight, to love, and to advocate. 

what some people think “you don’t need dysphoria to be trans” means: anyone can choose to be trans and trans people can just choose to be cis.

what “you don’t need dysphoria to be trans” actually means: trans experiences are extremely varied and trans people define dysphoria in multiple valid ways. there are multiple valid ways to be trans other than the “true transsexual” narrative popularized by cis people. distress about your birth assigned gender or sex characteristics is one way to be trans. discovering that you suddenly feel more authentic when living as a new gender, after no discernable distress that you’d call dysphoria, is another. if your gender is different from the one you were assigned at birth, you can call yourself trans.

It bothers me to see how many people are saying stuff like “I thought Bill Nye was supposed to be the science guy, he’s buying into this SJW cuck libtard stuff! Science says there are only two genders!” in response to Bill Nye covering gender and sexuality on Bill Nye Saves the World.

…Like, did they even listen to what he said? Have they read any peer-reviewed literature about the subject? Is their understanding of “gender” limited to a middle school understanding of X and Y chromosomes? Bill Nye addressed chromosomes, hormones, genitalia and secondary sex characteristics when talking about how some of us don’t fit into the male/female sex dichotomy, and brought up psychology and neuroscience when talking about gender and its difference from sex, and also sexuality. The actual science of sex, gender and sexuality across the animal kingdom and across human behaviour is far more interesting than “lol nope science says there are only two genders.” 

It honestly makes me angry when people say “lol I thought this was about science” whenever a scientist says something about topics like gender, sexuality, climate change or evolution that annoys someone. You can’t just pretend science is on your side when your understanding of science is based on a grade school textbook.

Also, why is it only gender people seem to have a problem with? Yeah, basic school textbooks will talk about XX and XY chromosomes and the male and female reproductive system, but they’ll also talk about how humans have five fingers on each hand and how the eye works when everyone knows some humans are born with six fingers on each hand or born blind. Textbooks will talk about how our body metabolises fats, but nobody would say “lol no sorry science says otherwise” at someone (like one of my secondary school classmates) who had a rare disorder who couldn’t metabolise fats. We accept that sweeping statements about human biology are generalisations. Sure, there are limits - no humans have wings or feathers, that would go against science - but we all accept some level of human diversity outside the basic-level textbooks - diversity that’s described well in the advanced medical textbooks. So why is it people only apply this logic to gender and not other differences in human biology?

I think part of it could be the backlash against postmodern nonsense which suggests everything is opinion and science is no more objective than art, which is a blatantly anti-science attitude. But the idea that sex, gender and sexuality aren’t totally binary isn’t just postmodern gender theory, it’s actual science with empirical evidence to back it up. 

One thing that fucked me up when trying to figure out my sexuality was the fact that you can experience attraction to different genders in different ways and nobody told me that.

So I’ll say it. If you experience attraction to different genders in different ways, that’s totally okay. Sexuality isn’t black or white, it’s grey and that’s okay. The terms “asexual” or “bisexual” or “gay” or anything else are just generalizations for us to use to categorize ourselves if we so choose!

You define your label. Words are there for us to utilize, they don’t define you.

i understand we’re all starving for same-sex relationships/representation in media but y'all gotta stop throwing a fit every time a bisexual on tv reminds you that they’re not lesbian or gay and get with someone of a different gender

just because you can’t co-opt this kind of representation (i.e. everyone calling korra and asami lesbians after they got together despite the fact that they are literally both bisexual) doesn’t mean it stops being good representation

Not medically transitioning doesn’t make a transgender person a “faker” or a “transtrender” or “basically cis” 

  • Trans people who have a medical condition that prevents them from medically transitioning in the way that they’d like to are valid
  • Trans people who are unable to afford access to medical transitioning are valid
  • Trans people who are minors and have parents who prevent them from medically transitioning are valid
  • Trans people who are waiting to medically transition for any reason are valid
  • Trans people who aren’t comfortable with the end results of certain surgeries and would rather not do them are valid
  • Trans people who are mentally ill and therefore unable to access transitioning because they can’t get a letter in support of them and their mental health are valid
  • Trans people would rather not go through the whole process of getting surgery and going through the recovery are valid
  • Trans people who can’t afford to take time off from work to get surgery are valid
  • Trans people who are comfortable with their bodies because their bodies are their bodies even if most people of their gender have a different body are valid
  • Trans people who don’t want to change their bodies are valid no matter what their reason is
  • Trans people who don’t plan on ever medically transitioning are valid
  • Trans people who aren’t able to medically transition right now but plan on medically transitioning one day are valid

Transgender people who haven’t medically transitioned aren’t “less trans” than trans people who are on hormones and have had surgery