gender difference

anonymous asked:

Hello! Long time fan here. I just caught up on your blog and saw that you mentioned that you identify as aro/ace. I apologize for the rudeness of the question, but I was wondering if you could tell us how you came to identify as such? Y'see, I'm questioning everything I thought I knew about myself, and I would very much appreciate hearing about your experience. Please do not hesitate to disregard this question if you'd rather not answer. Cheers!

Hi!! Well at first, in high school and at the start of college, I realized that I didn’t feel any distinction between the way I felt towards different genders. My first thought as an explanation was, “I must be bisexual.” I never really desired any romantic relationship like a lot of my friends did, but I didn’t think much of it–the classic “maybe I just have to wait and some day I will feel that way?” I loved spending time with people and making friends, but just in the platonic sense.

But then, this past spring, I realized, “huh, maybe my inability to distinguish how I feel towards different genders is not a sign that I am bisexual, but is actually because I just… don’t experience romantic or sexual attraction. I just am interested in platonic relationships.” And then a lot of stuff started making sense, haha.

I used to think I couldn’t be ace because i thought I had a crush on different people in high school, but I think, again, that was just me misidentifying my affection for people in a romantic sense, just because that’s what’s drilled into you as a kid you know? I’m still a Young Adult so I am not really 100% sure of any aspect of my identity, but the longer I have identified as aro/ace the more I have felt like it is truly what I am, and it’s the label I’m most comfortable with. It’s made me really happy seeing lots of you guys excited to see an aro/ace person just because it seems like there’s not many of us haha. I hope my story is able to help you!!!

anonymous asked:

that message was vague i think i used to identify as bisexual and now i do as queer because i'm torn between lesbian and bisexual because i can't tell if what i feel is real or???? because i am DISGUSTED by the male body but like their faces are nice??? but GIRLS!!!!!

oh anon, I know the feeling of being there pretty well. I just ignored my sexuality til I was 19 and then identified as bi for another three years before finally accepting that I’m a lesbian. I would say that usually if you’re thinking a lot about these things, it’s for a reason. unfortunately you’re the only person who knows how you feel in relation to different genders. 

I would suggest thinking about who you’d want to be in a relationship with. like when you take away any feelings of wanting guys to like you, take away past experiences, maybe even your ties to being bisexual and the expectations of people around you. can you ever see yourself wanting a relationship with a man? for me, it came down to realising I had tried to force attraction to guys I knew as a teenager and had convinced myself I was attracted to male celebrities but when I really thought about it I never want to have sex with men or be in a relationship with them. if that’s the case, you could use the lesbian label and see how it feels. if it ends up not being right, that’s fine. 

this can all be so difficult to work through and remember if you just want to ID as queer or as nothing at all that’s okay too but I personally get the need for a specific label. please feel free to send me more asks on or off anon or using the messaging system if you want to chat!

thesacredrurl  asked:

Hello! So I'm a pan girl and there's a boy I like. I haven't dated a boy since 2014 and I've only dated girls since then. Would it be normal to be slightly afraid to date a boy in fear of being left out of the LGBT+ community? Thanks and I love your videos!

that is totally normal! it’s so frustrating to me how panphobic a lot of the LGBT+ community is. like i hate the notion that if a bi or pan person is dating someone of a different gender that suddenly they’re not welcome?? that’s such bullshit. if anyone in the LGBT+ community gives you shit for liking a boy, they’re being exclusionary and honestly just plain mean. if you like a boy, go for it! you’re still pan! of course your feelings are valid, but i really hope you can find folks within the LGBT+ community who will love you anyway and won’t care who you’re dating :)

lots of love <3

anonymous asked:

How do I inform some nicely about the difference between gender and sex. I don't wanna sound rude to them. I just wanna politely tell them that gender is not the same thing as sex is but I'm not sure how to tell them. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Try just telling them that and backing it up with some facts that you know are true. Anyone else have any advice for this brother?

~Kurt

guys i cannot believe this just happened. i’m very drunk and brimming with rage. so at the pub the local uni debate team sat near us and they eventually started discussing gender, keep in mind they prefaced this by stating they were all cis men

they then proceeded to read out a list of different genders, laughing and jeering (“what’s the difference between trans* and trans? does the former have an asterisk tattooed on them?” “there’s no difference between bisexual and bigender right?” “what’s the difference between trans and transgender? a transgender has had the op right) and just generally being so rude and disrespectful that i turned around and was like "wow a bunch of dudes reading a list on wikipedia, what a nuanced debate!” and one dudebro was like “it’s facebook ACTUALLY”

like i got ACTUALLYed irl i cannot believe this. they left shortly after and hopefully fell into a ditch

yaoiqueensupreme  asked:

I saw an analysis of Yuuri's character the other day that described his visualization of himself in the dances as a metaphor for working through compulsory heterosexuality and oh my god I love him so much I see so much of myself in him even though he's a gay man and I'm a lesbian, so the point is I completely get what you were saying in your text post!! <3

Oh my goodness that sounds amazing, I’d love to read it if you’ve still got the link? 

But yeah I feel the same, like even though obviously I relate to lesbian characters the most, I find well-written gay men in fiction really relatable too? Because even though our gendered experiences are obviously different, the experience of being gay itself carries over quite a bit, at least in the broad strokes. 

youtube

New Documentary Highlights Discrimination Within the Black Lesbian/(and Bisexual) Community

The Same Difference is an hour-long documentary about lesbians who discriminate against other lesbians and bisexual women by Nneka Onuorah, an associate producer for BET.

“It’s almost like a gang,” Onuorah tells ELIXHER. “This is the criteria. This is what you have to do or you’re not a part of it, you’re not in it, or you’re not real. I thought that was ridiculous" … she wanted to start the conversation and shed some light on those issues …

So far, the teaser has been well received. The LGBT community wants to see it because they are living this every day…

Her fundraising goal is $15,000 and the money raised will go to production costs for her to complete the film. Onuorah does not want to only get the major city perspectives that are always seen. She wants to talk to people in states like Utah, Arkansas, and Washington … she also wants to make sure the message is heard by everyone, not just the lesbian community.

“It’s the same difference,” she says. “It’s not like we [lesbians] just face discrimination or we discriminate against each other and have stereotypes. This happens in the African American [heterosexual] community. From culture to culture, we’re doing this to each other. You can take the ‘lesbian’ out of the film and it will still be as powerful”The Same Difference is sure to spark a national dialogue around identity and the way we police one another. Give what you can to help make this important film happen. Donate here.

In the rare cases where actual psychological differences exist, they cannot be attributed to innate neurology alone. Everything in the brain is a combination of nature and nurture. Culture comes into play, which affects behavior, which then affects the brain. From birth (and even in the womb), a baby is labeled as a girl or boy and treated a certain way as a result. For example, a 2005 study of 386 birth announcements in Canadian newspapers showed that parents tend to say they’re “proud” when it’s a boy and “happy” when it’s a girl. Anne Fausto-Sterling, a biologist at Brown University, has shown that mothers talk to infant girls more than infant boys. This could partly explain why girls tend to have better language skills later on. “Some differences end up fairly entrenched in adult human beings,” Fausto-Sterling says. “But that doesn’t mean that you were born that way or that you were born destined to be that way.”

Limits

I used to tell myself I couldn’t wear a dress like this because I was a boy.
I got over it… eventually.
I used to tell myself I couldn’t wear a dress like this because I didn’t have boobs, or my shoulders were to wide, or my hips were not big enough…
I got over it… eventually.
I used to tell myself I couldn’t wear a dress like this out in public because it would make other people uncomfortable.
I got over that… eventually.

I am not saying that limits are wrong, but ask yourself…
Are you limiting yourself in ways that do not allow you to be freely open and expressive of who you are?
If so, then ask yourself… is it worth it?

Xoxo
-Elliott Alexzander

Why is it cute and trendy for girls to wear men’s flannel shirts and baggy boy’s pants but when a man wears anything remotely close to girl’s clothes it’s considered “gay"?

Do you wanna know why?

Do you really wanna know why??

Because our society thinks it’s degrading to be feminine.