gender confirming


If you’re transgender, there’s no such thing as a routine doctor’s appointment

The United States medical industry has slowly made health care for transgender people more accessible — including access to hormone treatments and gender confirmation surgery. But routine doctor’s visits continue to prove troublesome for trans patients, who regularly encounter doctors who are either wholly ignorant about trans health or as seen in one horrifying ER story, can’t look past gender identity.

good korean thing: mystic messenger, where you can find male victims of abuse (inc. female on male) and men with mental health issues and trauma (inc. one with a blatant coping thing a.k.a jumin and his cat) but aren’t shamed or mocked or made into a joke because of any of it (with the exception of one char being ableist towards jumin). chars are all likable and relatable. there’s even a char with no confirmed gender identity and has both he and she pronouns used (vanderwood).

bad korean thing: killing stalking, which was made by lucifer himself and enjoyed by white ass demonspawn with absolutely no morals or conscience whatsoever.

Swedish Trans Vocab

Assigned female (at birth) = Tilldelad kvinna (vid födseln)
Assigned male (at birth) = Tilldelad man (vid födseln)

Sex = Kön
Gender = Könsidentitet / genus [*1]

Trans(gender) = Trans
Transsexual = Transsexuell [*2]

Nonbinary = Ickebinär

Transphobia = Transfobi

(Gender) Dysphoria = (Köns)Dysfori

Gender evaluation = Könsutredning [*3]

Transsexualism = Transsexualism [*4]
Gender identity disorder without further specification = Könsidentitetsstörning utan närmare specifikation [*5]

Gender confirming treatment = Könsbekräftande behandling

Hormone treatment = Hormonbehandling
Testosterone = Testosteron
Estrogen = Östrogen

Chest surgery = Bröstoperation / bröstkirurgi
Bottom surgery =  Underlivsoperation / underlivskirurgi

*1: Genus is a very academic-sounding word and is not often used in everyday conversations.

*2: Don’t call trans people transsexual unless you know that they are okay with that word. It is a word that a lot of trans people are uncomfortable with.

*3: Trans people have to go through a gender evaluation and get diagnosed before we are allowed to start medically transitioning in Sweden.

*4: The diagnosis given to binary trans people.

*5: The diagnosis given to nonbinary people.

Not a suggestion but for anyone who experiences dysphoria:

Ok so it has been awful today and I’m scared that I’m not really trans and my gender therapist confirmed that I have gender dysphoria (not required to be trans but important for personal context) and starting testosterone is my next step (again: not required but for context) and should help me a lot but I am scared that I’m just, as people have called me in the past, an “attention seeking cis girl” and that I’m mirroring other trans people and I am sure that isn’t the case because right now I can’t even look in the mirror and when I was presenting as a girl I ended up in the hospital twice. 

But the thing I am curious about is this: Does anyone else almost feel guilty for being trans? Because my dad is transphobic and I can’t even come out to half of my family (says my gran) cause “they won’t understand” (or: they won’t try to, they think it is immoral, they don’t want me making the kids like *this*, and they think it’s gross. Mind you, dad has used the word t*anny before and then got mad at me when I got upset because “it was just a joke!”) and I also just feel bad. I know once I start t I will feel better but I’m scared as well. I’m nervous it won’t be what I expect or that, as one of my therapists said, I am “better off as a girl and should fake it until I make it.”

The logical part of my brain understands that this is all dysphoria talking to me and making me feel shit but…. I’m scared. I’m still nonbinary/fluid and I am transitioning which pisses off the transmeds and truscum for some reason but part of me feels like I *have* to start acting more **manly** to be taken seriously and I don’t really want that. Personally, my fluidity goes between somewhat feminine but still a boy (demiboy-like) and agender. I feel guilt for so many things, ah.

Am I the only one like this??


This is Dr. Meltzer office at 7025 North Scottsdale Rd, suite 302, in Scottsdale, AZ.

My appointment was at 1100 today. We arrived 45 minutes early because when the locals say they have traffic, it’s not anything like Seattles traffic.

We waited until almost noon because they take as much time as needed with each patient. That sucks for the wait, but it’s awesome because you will not be rushed out.

We talked with all sorts of other patients. It’s the first time I’ve had a chance to talk to other transgender men face to face about this kind of surgery. We also talked about how it’s 100 degrees today. Way too warm for the season.

The head office gal took me back initially because they are down a nurse, and so busy. She was so nice, and we talked about my surgery options, and politics. We are all mad at Trumps administration regarding transgender rights, and his blatant incomprehensible incompetency.

She confirmed I’d need to break the surgeries up into two. I could get the hysterectomy, oopherectomy, vaginectomy, metiodioplasty, and insert expanders for testicular implants in one go. I’d have to stay in hospital for two nights, and preferably stay in Town for another five days for a total of 7 days.

The mons resection, and final silicone testicle implants would be 3-5 months later.

Then Dr. Meltzer came in. He was awesome. He was super personable, and really showed care in what I was saying.

My husband brought up my lichen sclerosis issue, and he knew instantly what it was. This was shocking because it took 10 doctors, PACs, and nurse practitioners before I could get anyone to figure it out the first time.

Turns out not getting a urethral lengthening is the right choice because the tissue he’d need to use for me is the tissue that is garbage from the lichen sclerosis. However, he can always do a buccal donor site later. That’s when they take tissue from your cheek. I’m really not interested in it, but it’s good to know.

Dr. Meltzer also said because of it, my surgery was going to be on the easier scale of things. It’s basically just moving skin around.

He did mention that if you are getting a metiodioplasty done, you most likely need a mons resection. Insurance companies don’t cover it, but even skinny guys (which I am not) have fat pads in their pubic area. Why get a penis you can’t see? There are cisgendered men that have this done as well when they are small.

I also learned they will visit the nearby hotels if you stay nearby, so no La Quinta waffles, I guess. The local ones give better rates, too, if you are a patient.

We then talked my timeline. Since I work for the Department of Defense, and am worried my insurance will be yanked by the Trump/Pence combo he suggested Dr. Ley, his protege.

Apparently, she is a surgeon that observed for over a year, then did side by side procedures with him for six months, and has been working in an adjacent OR from Dr. Meltzer on her own since January.

I said I’d be cool with that.

I know not everyone would want to take a leap of faith at a newer surgeon, but I was a nurse for a long time, and I know that cosmetic surgeons rarely get that kind of training. I also know we, as in the transgender community don’t have enough surgeons to fill our needs.

Dr. Meltzer said he’d be in the room with her to help if needed, and it gets me in this year.

My last reason, she needs patients to work on, and won’t get past this phase of her mostly-on-her-own unless someone does let her operate on them. I’ve had great luck in life with new doctors, tattoo artists, and surgeons.

It’s the difference between 18 months of wait time and 3.

Dr. Meltzer and his office administrator, Linda is what they just told me her name was, didn’t want me to decide unless I could meet Dr. Ley. She had a surgery today, but is going to be back in an hour or so. That is impressive, too. They want me to be comfortable with my surgeon, and are going out of their way to do that.

So I’m sitting here waiting to meet my surgeon and line up a date, instead of going to the Scottsdale Western Museum. Worth it.

So I’m still seeing denial about Jacob Frye’s sexuality. I’ve also seen some comments that say ‘just because Roth kisses him doesn’t mean Jacob is gay’ (you’re right there, he’s not!) or even bash people for shipping Jacob with a certain gender.

Ubisoft confirmed that Jacob is BI. Bisexual. Attraction to two or more genders. It is canon.

Jacob + female = not straight.
Jacob + male = not gay.
Jacob = bisexual.

[Reminder to shippers who may’ve been bashed: Shipping Jacob with a female does not invalidate his sexuality.
Shipping Jacob with a male does not invalidate his sexuality.]



My Top Surgery Video is here! 

I’ll be uploading a nipple reveal video tomorrow more than likely, but be sure to follow my social media links so that you can join in on my journey to Plano today to see my nips! 

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