gender and over doing

You guys … just take in for a moment just what a big deal Jen Cohn and Lucie Pohl doing that proposal is. 

The VAs for Pharah and Mercy not only show support for the ship.

But they help their lgbt fans propose to one another, and support their marriage as well.

That’s absolutely amazing, and it means the world to someone like me, who had to go through a span of several years of being in denial of my sexual orientation, due to my disapproving family and the deep-seated and internalized homophobia I had as well.

So to show them showing support for their fans in that way means a lot, and I don’t think I can properly convey it through words.

We are truly blessed to have these two as the VAs for Pharah and Mercy, and we are truly blessed by the Overwatch VA cast.

I absolutely adore them so much, and they truly are wonderful human beings.

rainsweet

for  @elias21babybull as part of the #BabyBullFest. 

ao3

Elias loses his virginity in the back of a car that smells like pencil shavings and fresh rain to a boy with chocolate curls and a cherry blossom mouth.

Elias meets Adam for the first time at the library, and immediately puts his foot in his mouth.

“I’m only waiting for my brother, I’ve read most of the books in here already,” Elias insists to the boy, the strange teenager dressed in a pale pink sweater with a pretty white bow on the collar. Elias thinks he’s doing the boy a favor at first, because no one must speak to the boy very often. He dresses very strange and looks more like a girl than a boy. Elias is doing the boy a favor, yes.

But the boy just blinks up at him with long, curling lashes that flutter without him even trying, and Elias thinks he must have a lot of friends, he’s so pretty. “Are you Gabriel’s older brother?” His voice is high and sweet, like liquorice candy and melted caramel. “The one who fought Sven Irlin in the courtyard last week?”

Elias’s chest puffs out, ready to set the record straight. “He hit me first, he’s a horrible boy. I won easily, even though he had three friends. No, it was five. No, ten! I beat them all!”

“Well, Gabriel certainly is lucky,” says the boy. “He must be very proud to have a strong brother like you.” Those lashes swoop down, shy and sweet, and Elias would’ve been flattered had he not seen the boy’s smile.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hi, I'm bisexual but I still don't feel like I really know what biphobia really is. Obviously, or maybe not so obviously, I've experienced discrimination. But I still feel like I don't know the difference between biphobia and homophobia. Could you maybe explain it to me?

Hello,

so, homophobia is the hatred against gay and lesbian people which presents itself in many different (often institutionalised) ways. Biphobia is the hatred against bisexual people which has a lot of unique and bi-specific aspects. It can come from straight people, gay people and bi people themselves (we call that “internalised biphobia”).

Those are the main things that come to my mind right now:

  • not believing that bisexuality is “real” and therefore invalidating people who identify as bi
    • for example saying they are actually gay but too shy/scared/cowardly to “fully” come out of the closet
    • or saying that they are actually straight and just “doing it for attention”
    • the false believe that you can only truly be attracted to one (and only one!) gender (”I can’t imagine being attracted to more than one gender, so how could anyone else?”)
    • thinking it’s “just a phase” (often said about and towards bi kids/teenagers) and that they will eventually “pick a side”
  • stereotyping bi people as “greedy” or “confused”
    • “they just need to make their mind up”
    • “they have threesomes all the time”
    • “don’t date a bi person, they are all unfaithfull cheaters.”
    • “they can only be happy if they date a man and a woman at the same time.”
  • thinking of bisexuality as half gay/half straight instead of it’s own unique sexual identity
    • “how many percent gay are you?”
    • “are you like 50/50?”
    • “what gender do you prefer?”
  • repeatedly speaking over bi people when they want to define bisexuality for themselves
    • “bi means ‘two’ so you can only be attracted to men and women”, but the bi community keeps saying that the term has evolved to mean “two or more genders” which means it is inclusive of non-binary people as well (and you can identify as bi if you are for example only attracted to women and nb-people but not to men)
  • bisexual erasure
    • for example assuming someone in a same-gender relationship has to be gay and in a different-gender relationship has to be straight (this ask was a perfect example)
    • in media when TV shows refuse to say the word “bisexual” about a character who clearly showed interest in or was intimate with people of more than one gender.
    • using “gay” as an umbrella term to mean LGBTQIA+ (”gay rights”, “gay marriage”, “gay pride”) which is not just bisexual erasure but actually erases every other letter in the acronym except the G
    • labelling openly bi celebrities as “allies” (e.g. Lady Gaga, Drew Barrymore, Billy Joe Armstrong)
    • mislabelling bi celebrities as gay - ever wondered why Freddie Mercury is known to be “the most famous gay celebrity”? Well, he identified as bisexual.
  • also saying that biphobia is just “misdirected homophobia” denies the fact that there are a lot of bi-specific issues.
    • bi people are less likely to be out to their intimate partner, their families/friends, their doctors
    • they are more likely to suffer from mental health issues and experience intimate partner violence

What all of this is showing us is that bi people have specific needs and face unique problems that won’t vanish just by fighting homophobia. There is no trickle down effect for bi people because as said above: we are not half gay so resources for gay people don’t apply to us. We need our own resources and representation because biphobia is not the same as homophobia.

Maddie

Time to unite and fight the right, not collude and be co-opted

I’m appalled by WoLF and other radical feminists walking into the co-optation trap with the Heritage Foundation and Fox News. We are in a political emergency. Now is the time to unite and fight the right, not get in line with them. If radical feminists are going to stretch outside their comfort zone to try to win protections for women, the Heritage Foundation is not where to go to achieve that end. Finding common cause with liberal feminists and trans people is difficult work, but possible and necessary. Many trans people do not recognize their own lived experiences in the rhetorical excesses of the extremist trans activists–and many do not find their real interests represented by these extremists’ current campaigns. Many, many liberal women feel ill at ease with their own interests being run over–they are simply afraid to stand up or second-guessing themselves. Many are unsure and confused, watching and making their decisions about where to stand based on who else will be standing with them.

If WoLF’s interested in coalition work, it could make bridges there. But as we’ve seen, they’ve been unwilling even to listen to other radical feminists when we’re also detransitioned women. These collusions with the Right are exactly the type of wildly off target actions we’ve tried to question and interrupt in their strategy approach, brought to a worst-case scenario conclusion. I watched the Heritage panel discussion in horror as a Fest dyke spoke about transwomen infiltrating Michfest–as though the likes of the Heritage Foundation had not also infiltrated and tried to shut down Michfest, infiltrated the Land and the message boards, tried to dig up some salacious s&m content in order to paint us all as perverts–and as a sinister threat to women and children. The right doesn’t differentiate much between those they consider perverts and deviants. When the Right says they’re concerned about who is using women’s accommodations, don’t think for a minute that lesbians, gay men, or anyone who gets mistaken as such will not be harmed by their “solution.”

WoLF are working with one of the women who passed HB2 in North Carolina. To my knowledge, she’s the only one in their so-called “coalition” who has been part of actually passing legislation on this issue, and it was HB2. Do they not understand what HB2 is?

It’s not just a bathroom bill, but even if it had been, you gotta ask the question–who will be hurt by this law in North Carolina? Safe bet Black lesbians will get hit the worst. Not white autogynephiles, primarily–they’ve got their white male privilege to insulate them. It’ll come back on Lesbians. Butch dykes. Bearded women. Flaming gay men, particularly if they’re Black. Getting everyone on high alert about “evil interlopers” in the bathroom does cause additional hardship for anyone who is perceived as ambiguously sexed, trans or not.

But it was not just a bathroom bill. HB2 eliminated rights and employment protections very broadly–removing anti-discrimination protections on the basis of RACE, SEX, NATIONALITY, RELIGION. It removed any chance of legal remedy for any such discrimination in North Carolina. It removed all protections on lesbian and gay rights to public accommodations. It banned any future ordinances which could try to win them back. It eliminated minimum wage standards and health insurance standards for public contractors. It eliminated family leave policies, child welfare protections, and requirements for workers to be allowed to take breaks. It banned future ordinances to reverse those losses.

And the blond lady on the panel with Miriam Ben Shalom and Mary Lou Singleton–Kami Mueller–you know, the one who could barely conceal her distaste for those she sees as freaks whether they be lesbian, gay, or trans–spoke proudly about how she helped pass that legislation. She told a story about being a mom against having her children, nieces and nephews forced into co-ed bathrooms and against insane gender ideology being forced on them in school. And that story was the ammunition she brought to the battle for HB2. That’s a nice story, I guess, if you ignore why she has an issue with these things. But it’s not the story of what HB2 actually is. Or who she actually is. She’s not some random mom who happened into a conflict with her kids’ school. She’s been working in PR and strategy for the Republican party, organizing against women’s reproductive rights, and generally doing Focus on the Family-esque campaigns for her entire career. In fact, both of the right wing women who participated on that panel are PR and Communications professionals. The WoLF women…do not have that background. They have so badly underestimated the right wing women. This is no equal coalition between individual women from different walks of life. This is a power move by the right, co-opting the only visible feminist resistance in order to entirely neutralize any chance of its message gaining traction or appearing reasonable.

Nobody of conscience is going to stand with WoLF when it cozies up to the elite power-holders on the right. They are allowing themselves to be co-opted and used. Being co-opted isn’t just about what you believe or what you say. It’s about what you represent, what you have been willing to compromise, and what you are being used to accomplish. It doesn’t matter what anyone says. It matters what end you’re serving. Just like HB2 wasn’t about the compelling stories some women told about protecting the legal category of “female.” The right’s only interest in that legal category is as a mechanism of control and repression.

It says a lot when WoLF can see their way clear to “common cause” with those whose stake in this particular issue is the repression of women, including lesbians; gay men; and anyone they mistake for one of the above. Please understand who we are talking about here. The Heritage Foundation is funded in part by the Koch brothers and the DeVos family, was instrumental in selecting Trump’s transition team. They did oust Jason Richwine for being too overtly white supremacist, but I think that was strategic with regard to his being too obvious about it, not a real difference in values. Now that “MAGA” is the order of the day, the game has changed on that front too. The Heritage Foundation’s current leadership is a Tea Party guy who has been taking them in an even bolder direction than their usual.

It’s not clear whether there are direct ties with The Family, but these people are of that ilk. The Family are the US-based right wing political organization that brought Uganda its “kill the gays” bill. These are people who want a theocracy here in the US, and they are closer to achieving that than they have ever been. Many of them literally think lesbians, other “bad women,” and gay men should be stoned to death.They are anti-poor, anti-worker and white supremacist as a matter of course. But they’re getting savvier about how to represent those values. They have dressed it up pretty and they are smiling politely to your face. For now.

Miriam Ben Shalom noted that she wasn’t being yelled at and was treated respectfully at Heritage Foundation, whereas radiqueers shouted her down at the last panel discussion she participated in. The Heritage crowd might not be yelling, but it’s only because they know how to cook a frog–and what they are up to is far, far more dangerous. WoLF’s strategy is to set aside “differences” to work with them.

But WoLF–despite its stated value of female solidarity and the greater salience of sex over “gender identity”–could never and would never do the work to make common cause with, say, transmen. Hell, they couldn’t even work with radical feminist detransitioned dykes. We were ready and willing to talk to them about refining their strategy into something less allergic to nuance and help equip them to bridge subcultural differences–but instead they’ve doubled down on their bludgeon tactics, metastasized their strategy into something dangerous to most women. It’s very telling that they got down with Heritage instead of ever listening to the likes of us.

It’s not a “coalition” when you’ve walked into the den of patriarchal power and handed over the collective credibility of radical feminists in an attempt to make a devil’s bargain. Do not think for a minute that a right wing think tank and social engineering force would champion your radical feminist cause if they thought it would actually help you win. Understand–at this political moment, if all you have to say to the Heritage Foundation is “look, we have this one thing in common, for opposite reasons”–you are basically asking the big mean daddy to protect you. That is never gonna work in favor of women, of female human beings, collectively. And make no mistake about which women will be hurt first and worst.

And because WoLF’s the only big public radical feminist organization, by extension they’ve allowed any women who organize or write under that banner to be co-opted as well, unless we speak up loudly enough to say no to this. Fox News is pretty loud. The Heritage Foundation is pretty loud. WoLF have made our work–those of us who actually try to organize on points of female solidarity, regardless of political difference–next to impossible. And maybe that was the point, at least from the right’s perspective.

But I’m interested in doing the opposite of what they’re doing. I actually don’t care about calling it radical feminism. You can call it whatever you want. Call it George. I care more about what it accomplishes in our lives than in the name. I have plenty of common cause with many who believe radical feminism is anathema, though they may not truly understand it. (Allying with the right will not help them understand.) Regardless, I can hold those disagreements, some of which come down to semantics, far more readily than a “disagreement” over whether female human beings ought to have bodily autonomy, or a “disagreement” over the human rights of women, including lesbians; gay men; people of color; Muslims; or Jews.

Things for alien OC/custom alien race/canon-race-HC writers to consider
  1. How often does your character’s race interact with other races? Do they even know that any other race exists, or are they highly politically/socially involved with other races?
  2. What’s their attitude towards other races? Do they only like races from their own sector or are their certain requirements?
  3. What their race’s gender and sexual/romantic demographic look like? Is it strictly male/female, is there no gender distinguishing at all, is gender barely even a term or a worry? Going from there, is there a certain attitude about different relationships? Inter-race relationships?
  4. How distinct do different genders look if at all? Are they readily recognized or is everyone totally androgynous? What about pronouns?
  5. How many governments are there in this race? Are there multiple, like Earth, or is there a unified governmental power? Was there once unification and then things happened or vice versa?
  6. Is there a homeworld at all? Was it destroyed? Is their race a nomadic people? Are they spread out across the universe? Does their race have a common goal?
  7. How controlling is the government from which your OC came from and how has that had impact on them? How diverse is the race in personality/morality?
  8. Are there different types of people and cultures in the race? (Ex. White, Green, and Red Martians) Are they different in appearance and/or behavior?
  9. Religion? Is this race religious or no? How many religions are there? How controlling is/are the government(s) of religion?
  10. Is this race misogynistic, misandric, gender-neutral, etc.? How has attitude towards different genders changed over time, if at all?
  11. Do they have powers or the potential to have powers? If so, are powerless members of the race looked down upon? Is there a set of powers that all race members have?
  12. How much does your OC know about their own culture or government? Have they done a huge amount of study on it or do they just go through life without question of culture? How did they grow up? Are they good at describing their homeworld or the surroundings of their people?
  13. If there is a homeworld, what’s climate like? Hotter than earth, colder than Earth, does it vary place-to-place? Do they have or need a sun? Is there a moon? How many? Has pollution had an effect on the environment?
  14. How technologically advanced are they? Is their varying in how technological subcategories of the race is?
  15. Social classes? How many are there, if at all? Which is your OC at?
  16. Education? Is it mandatory? Has it changed? What education did your OC have? What does the race teach?
  17. Is this race stereotyped a lot by others? Does it stereotype other races? Have the people evolved out of their stereotype(s); do they like or dislike the stereotypes?
  18. Are there different species on the homeworld (assuming) if at all? Is this race predator or prey? Do they hunt other species?

There are a LOT of other things to think about, but I’ll leave this as it is for right now. I’m not sure if this has been done or not, but I hope it helps.

  • Person: This character's sexuality isn't stated, so they could very well be bisexual!
  • Me: 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌th 👌 ere👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit
  • Person: Yeah! That's why I choose to completely ignore their canon same-gender and/or interracial relationship! It's not even real! Instead they're actually in love with this white person and/or person of a different gender over here!
  • Me: do NOT sign me the FUCK up 👎👀👎👀👎👀👎👀👎👀 bad shit ba̷̶ ԁ sHit 👎 thats ❌ some bad 👎👎shit right 👎👎 th 👎 ere 👎👎👎 right ❌ there ❌ ❌ if i do ƽaү so my self🚫 i say so 🚫 thats not what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ 🚫 👎 👎👎НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ 👎 👎👎 👎 🚫 👎 👀 👀 👀 👎👎Bad shit
  • Gender: *ominously looms over me*
  • Me: what are you doing?
  • Gender: oh you know, just imposing a set of outdated norms and bizarre binaries on you without your permission because society is unable to cope with the idea that you don't want to be placed in a box which will have an extreme effect on the way you live your life just because you were born with a certain reproductive organ.
  • Me: *backs away slowly*

I feel like white women have a tendancy to expect Every Single Woman to watch/ like/ support their New “Revolutionary” (White) Feminist TV Shows and Movies, and believe that women who don’t are being Bad Feminists.

Here’s the thing though: don’t expect women of color to support these shows if we’re not being represented. Don’t get mad at woc for criticizing the lack of representation in said shows and movies. Most definitely, do not tell woc they need to “wait thier turn” or that “these things take time.”

Don’t say that white women are just now getting proper representation either, it’s such a slap to the face. White women have been playing strong, defiant, interesting, main characters since the beginnings of film.

On a similar note, do not accuse woc who prioritize moc over your White Female Faves of internalized misogyny. Do not just automatically expect us to chose our gender over our race, that is an incredibly White Feminist thing to do.

-Mod Sam

Ask the Mun~
  1. What made you interested in playing the muse(s) that you play?
  2. Are there any characters you’d like to play besides the ones you do now?
  3. Ever made an OC? If so, can we know more about them?
  4. How would you describe your muse(s)?
  5. Post a selfie (recent or not)
  6. Are you in any other fandoms?
  7. Will you take suggestions on cosplay?
  8. When did you start roleplaying?
  9. Do you roleplay NSFW? (sexual, horror, ect) 
  10. Do you have any other hobbies?
  11. (For Gif makers) Have you ever had to re-do any Gifs?
  12. Have you had anything happen while trying to make the gifs?
  13. When do you normally get in cosplay/sit down to do replies?
  14. Are you still in school? If so, what grade are you in/what major are you studying?
  15. Plans for the future?
  16. Have you done any cosplay videos? 
  17. Do you sometimes feature other people in your ask sessions?
  18. What’s your favorite thread you’ve ever done?
  19. What’s your favorite ask you’ve gotten?
  20. Do you prefer a certain gender over another to cosplay/roleplay?
  21. Do you have anything you wouldn’t roleplay?
  22. Do you have any AUs you want to roleplay?
  23. Would you be okay with fanfics/fanart of you/your OC?
  24. Could we see more of _________ someday? 
  25. Do you consider yourself a good roleplayer/cosplayer?
  26. Are you planning anything special for your muse(s)? If so, what should we expect?
  27. Do you do any form of art work? Could we see some?
  28. Do you do commissions? 
  29. Do you have a job? 
  30. (Anything you’re curious about) 

No matter how many times others have tried to cut me into one shape or another

No matter how many times I have tried to fit my trapezoid self into a triangle or a square

No matter how many times I’ve wished I could just be one or the other

I cannot be anything except that which I am

 

But I am not made in their image

So when I pray to express my thanks for being made according to G-d’s inexplicable will

It is an act of resistance, and reclamation, and healing

anonymous asked:

Any tips to give to help someone to figure out their gender identity?

hey anon, yes i do have tips:

the first step to questioning your gender is asking yourself what gender means to you. in general, how do you define gender? what do you feel about gender? are there any feelings that you have about yourself and your identity in relation to gender? move on to your assigned gender–how do you define your assigned gender? what does it mean to you? what (if any) feelings do you associate with it? what (if any) connection do you have to it? the answers you may have to these questions could be definite or they could be abstract or they could be just ???????? it doesn’t matter - this isn’t a test, there are no correct answers and even an “i have no idea” is fine.  this is just a starting point.

the second step is doing some cursory research into different gender identities. find a list of definitions of different gender identities (there are probably hundreds online), read over it. do any of them stand out? feel familiar? feel like a fit? on the other hand, do any of them feel like definitite “no, i’m not this”? make a list of all the maybes. this list can be as long or as short as it needs to be, don’t hold back. at this point it’s not important to worry about narrowing anything down.

step three is to do deeper research into the maybes on your list. look through the tags on tumblr, look for blogs that are specific to those identities. read over what people who ID with those labels have said about their own experiences and why they came to ID with those terms. are there any that are standing out more now? are there any that you can eliminate from the list?

step four is looking over what is left on your list. ask yourself what these terms mean to you. which sounds the best? which are you most comfortable with? which are you most drawn to? say outloud “i am (term)” and ask yourself how it makes you feel. how do you feel about your identity and how does it compare to the terms? how do your experiences compare to the experiences of people who ID with those terms? do you have things in common with one more than another?

questioning your gender identity, essentially, involves just asking lots of questions–about yourself and your feelings. at the end of the day whatever term you use comes down to whichever fits what you’re feeling the best and what you’re the most comfortable with. remember that there is no rush, there is no time limit on when you need to figure it out, and that this is about you, no one else.

Tagged by @minorheartattack, thanks, interesting tag game!

Rules: Using only the song titles of one Artist/Band, cleverly answer the questions and then tag 20 people.
Artist/Band: Nightwish
What is your gender: Eva
How do you feel: Sleeping Sun
If you could go anywhere: Over the Hills and Far Away
Favorite mode of transportation: Walking In The Air
Your best friend: Wishmaster
Favorite time of day: Storytime
If your life was a TV show: Song of Myself
Relationship status: Ever Dream
Your fear: Slaying the Dreamer

I tag: @autumnfeuilly @autumn-redness @nar-ankar @spaceyueh @rainbowunicornsofdestruction @poorhungryhumanist @qhostfacers @lots-of-sensations @redshirtjaylah @shallow-kid @221b-sh @the-amethyst-witch @northern-tree @greethree @jimy-kirks @bitterbutch @alivemadness @sodapoppi @dziewana @book-worm-js