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Why can’t the nation’s first legally nonbinary person get an ID?

In late April, retired military vet Jamie Shupe casually filled out a form at the Multnomah County courthouse in Portland, Oregon. Shupe was petitioning for a gender change: a relatively commonplace task undertaken by many of the nation’s estimated 1.4 million transgender residents.

But Shupe, unlike most transgender people, doesn’t identify as male or female—they identify as neither. And on June 10, they quietly, unexpectedly made history. The Oregon court granted Shupe’s change, making them the first U.S. citizen to be legally classified with a nonbinary gender. 

But while the court’s approval of the gender change made international headlines, Shupe hasn’t been able to integrate being legally nonbinary into all of life’s little bureaucracies. Nearly a month later, Shupe has been denied a new passport—along with a new driver’s license and military ID card. While all of those documents would have been available to Shupe after a gender transition to either male or female, being classified as nonbinary has apparently complicated matters.

Not a single state or federal agency has been able to issue Shupe an ID that says nonbinary, despite the court order that says that’s what Shupe is—and some of those agencies appear to be flat-out opposed to the idea altogether.

If Jamie Shupe’s gender is legal according to the court, then why can’t any U.S. agency issue identification documents that reflect that?

[READ MORE]

If the reason you don’t want to pray, read the Bible, go to church, or basically be in touch with God is because you think He won’t love you, you’re wrong.

God loves you so, so much. You. I know that’s a broad term since I’m putting it online, but it doesn’t matter who reads this.

White? God loves you.

Black? God loves you.

Brown? God loves you.

Straight? God loves you.

Gay? God loves you.

Trans? God loves you.

Don’t let anything hold you back from coming to God. He loves you. So, so much. No Christian will be able to tell you how much. The only person who would be able to couldn’t even put it into words; He hung in a cross to prove God’s love for you.

God loves you.

The Gender Tag

The Gender Tag Project, started by YouTuber and social justice activist Ashley Wylde, is a cool way for all of us to rethink our gendered lives–performances, identities, norms…everything! It’s a series of 10 simple (yet evocative) questions that help us interrogate our experiences of gender.

The project was created in/for video format (see the original here), but I thought it would be cool to participate in writing as well. Though it can be empowering and liberating to proclaim these answers with our bodies visible, it’s not always safe or possible for people to do so.

That said, I invite YOU to answer these questions! Make a video for Ashley’s project on YouTube (and check out the others), talk the prompts over with a friend, or just answer the questions in your head. It’s a wonderful ride! :) Here goes mine…

1. How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that definition mean to you?
I identify as a genderqueer female, a tomboy, or just “androgynous.” For me, it’s important to recognize my AFAB status despite the fact that my performance is more neutral. I feel very connected to the body I have–one that is deemed “female” by our culture’s dominant medical system, a structure with which I’ve unfortunately had many interactions due to severe health issues.

I recognize that “female” is a sex rather than a gender, but I prefer the term over “woman” when speaking about myself purely for that reason; it feels more compulsory, like something that was forced upon me. In my identity then–“genderqueer female”–I honor my gender (queer) in a way that directly challenges my assigned sex (normative) in the same breath.**

**This does NOT mean I believe the transphobic notion that vagina=female. It most certainly does not! But for me, using the term “female” in addition to my queered label is how I disrupt the gender/sex divide. It’s essentially declaring that my organs and society’s assumptions about them cannot and do not dictate my gender identity or performanceThough some may argue it’s counter-productive to be both queer and normative in labeling, I find it empowering. But I would never, EVER expect another genderqueer person to out their assigned sex if they didn’t want to do so.

2. What pronouns honor you?
She/her!

3. Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.
I typically wear button up shirts with skinny jeans, often with fun sneakers or some sort of oxfords. When I dress up, I prefer dress pants, suspenders, bow ties…generally more masculine items. However, I do like them to be fitted and shy away from baggy clothes.

Dresses and skirts were something I refused from a young age, but I’m trying to re-engage with them as I feel comfortable. Darkmatter poet Alok Vaid-Menon asks, “What feminine part of yourself did you have to destroy to survive in this world?” Since I heard that, I’ve been trying to reclaim femininity in my life–and my style.

4. Talk about your choices with body hair. How do you style your hair? Do you have facial hair? What do you choose to shave, or choose not to shave?
I choose to shave pretty much everything. I always have. As someone who struggles with PCOS, I’ve always hated my body hair. It’s not really about other people’s perception of my body though. It’s about feeling clean and comfortable with myself. Of course, “clean and comfortable” doesn’t necessarily mean bald! For many, it means letting hair grow where/how it does–totally on its own. This stuff all in the eye of the beholder, and for the record, hygiene is heavily laced with oppressive assumptions that we should all challenge.

5. Talk about cosmetics. Do you choose to wear makeup? Do you paint your nails? What types of soaps and perfumes do you use if any?
I wear very basic makeup: mascara, foundation, and concealer (very little of each). I struggled with severe acne for years, and makeup gave me a sense of empowerment over it.

I also wear perfumes by Dolce & Gabbana and Chanel–my two self-care splurges. In terms of soaps/shampoos, I just use regular stuff from Target. The only time I get fancy is with face washes/products because I have very sensitive skin.

6. Have you experienced being misgendered? If so, how often?
Yes! It happens more often on the phone than in person though. I have a pretty deep voice (and have since I was a toddler!), so many times I’m called “sir” when people can’t see me.

That said, I also feel a bit misgendered when I’m grouped into a crew of “women” as well. Part of me says I AM a woman; part of me feels like the term is missing something for me. Question #1 covered this more in-depth, but my relationship with the term “woman” is complicated and evolving.

7. Do you experience dysphoria? How does that affect you?
Funny, I would’ve always answered this with “no” before I saw Ashley’s first gender tag video (link above). But now, the answer is definitely: YES! I just didn’t always recognize it.

I’ve always felt really uncomfortable with my chest. I wear sports bras most of the time, and nearly always wear shirts that hide my breasts (which for the record are pretty small anyway). Having a flat chest is something that makes me feel more confident, and when I imagine myself with my eyes closed, that’s what I see. When I look in the mirror and see myself in a regular cupped bra, it doesn’t feel right.

On another note, I feel a sense of dysphoria based on how small I am. I have very defined muscles, but I don’t build mass in a way that I feel would honor my gender identity. Because our culture equates thinness with proper femininity, I feel forced into something I don’t want. (I feel similarly about my height.)

8. Talk about children. Are you interested in having children? Would you want to carry a child if that were an option for you? Do you want to be the primary caretaker for any children you may have?
I’m definitely NOT interested in being pregnant, and I wouldn’t want to be the primary caretaker of any kids either. However, if having children was really important to my parter, I’d definitely be willing to co-parent with them. I think raising children should be something that all involved people (whether it’s one or ten) are committed to doing, so I’d want to talk it over with my partner for sure.

9. Talk about money. Is it important to you to provide for a family financially if you choose to have one? Is it important to you that you earn more than any partner you may have? Do you prefer to pay for things like dates? Are you uncomfortable when others pay for you or offer to pay for you?
It’s important for me to be self-sufficient, and also to be able to have those I love be safe and happy. Other than that, I don’t really care about the rest of it.

10. Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?
I’d love to hear about YOURS! Please post and tag me/message me with a link!

Anyone else find it weird that in video games with avatar customization, you can change nearly everything about your character on a whim, but not their gender?

I know it’s not a super crazy huge big deal thing, but it just feels a little weird that in a single player game where your avatar customization has no effect on the gameplay, you can’t change that particular setting down the line. Like if you came out as trans or something but now your avatar can’t reflect that.

shoulders back, chest voice, two sports bras
shave one side of your head because that’s “fashionable” and pretend you don’t enjoy looking at yourself from only that side
wear clothes you can hide in, clothes that camouflage your figure and make you look shapeless (just how you like it)
hats and beanies and snapchats “lol look how masc i look” then stare at the pictures for hours before looking in the mirror and seeing
long lashes and pink lips
two small mounds and curves  
soft skin and painted nails and fem fem fem girl girl girl she she she her her her
delete the pictures, step away from the mirror, because you can’t decide which image is real
—  (cc, 2016)
FEMINISM IS TOXIC - PART 9

‘’NOT ALL WOMEN WANT KIDS’’ 

Trigger warning: sarcasm. 

I was a strong believer in the statement ‘not all women want kids’ for many years. Before I was a feminist, during my brief time of insanity (when I was a feminist) and up until 2 days ago.

Keep reading

The results of a few polls about Mx and titles generally

In the past few days I ran three polls about Mx.

First I got to wondering about the tussle over Mx. There’s two camps:

  • People (like me!) who feel that Mx should be inclusive (anyone can use it regardless of gender), as it was originally intended. 
  • People who feel that since the binary folks have titles that express their gender, nonbinary folks should be able to have one too - and it should be Mx, since that’s the only title functionally available to most nonbinary people right now.

So naturally, let’s do a Twitter poll. Here’s the tweet, and here are the results for that one:

The majority, a little over three quarters of participants, felt that Mx was an inclusive title.

I got curious about how that compared to which people would like for themselves, leaving out the title Mx altogether (tweet):

Fewer participants, but the trend looks like people feel Mx is inclusive, even when they would rather use an exclusively nonbinary title for themselves.

And then I wanted to find out how those figures on people’s ideal titles compared to what people think the title situation should be generally (tweet):

Even though only about 1 in 5 nonbinary people want an exclusively nonbinary title, over half feel that there should be one - even though most of those 56% wouldn’t use it for themselves.

TL;DR: Our followers mostly feel that Mx is inclusive, and most prefer an inclusive title - but plenty support the idea of an exclusively nonbinary title for the people who do want one.

During my time at school I’d hang around with this guy and everyone thought we had the hots for each other. One teacher (he was awesome by the way) even wrote a mini poem or song or something (I don’t remember) to this guy friend of mine. It was kinda annoying, but we laughed it off and stuff. Still, assuming such was so wrong, because he turned out to be gay. Funny how people of the opposite gender who are friends are looked upon as a romance thing, yet no one assumes the same when it comes to the same gender, assuming that they’re “great friends.” Weird…