but also would certain hogwarts students experience sexism based on their house? like would slytherin girls feel judged and stereotyped for being “too ambitious” or “cold and calculating”? and gryffindor girls like hermione who were often made fun of for sticking up for what is right in the face of public scrutiny? what about hufflepuff girls enduring constant jokes about “getting back in the kitchen” or ravenclaw ladies’ work being devalued because they’re not as “rational” as the boys?

Female and nonbinary dwarves are the best.  Sorry, I don’t make the rules.  It is a fact.

You know why?  Because we’ve had to make up everything about them.  The only thing we know is that, like the men of their kin, they’re short, broad, and hairy.  You know how many fictional women/nb characters are like that?  VERY FEW.  So we’ve got fanfic writers and fanartists who finally have an excuse (if they needed one) to celebrate a body-type that’s rarely praised. 

We’ve got fantastic Dís headcanons, and dwarves of Thorin’s company written/drawn as female because why not?  We have trans dwarves and genderqueer dwarves and dwarf society celebrating female smiths and warriors or ignoring gender altogether, or viewing gender in an entirely non-Human way because they AREN’T human, so why should they.  We have meta about language and failed or insufficient translations from Khuzdul to Westron (to English).

Should dwarves be gender-optional? Should dwarves have more than two genders? ABSOLUTELY. Whatever floats your boat.  Canon is silent on the matter.  I like gender-optional, agender, and genderqueer dwarves.  I like Dwalin beating the crap out of everything in her way.  I like genderfluid Nori fucking with people and enjoying their gender options.  I like Dís and her wife making adorable babies together.  I like female and nonbinary dwarf OCs of all kinds being traders and healers and smiths and lawyers and soldiers and criminals and quartermasters and musicians and miners.  I like my own calmly nonbinary -Ur family and brazenly female Dís.

In related news, be prepared for a bunch of dwarfy stuff coming down the pike this weekend.  I may be obsessing a bit.

When Online Consumption Gets Disgusting

There’s primarily two ways that people consume online that disgusts me, okay. There is no nice way to say this after years of experiencing this. Like, skin crawling, nausea-causing, I have to log off for a bit kind of ways. It’s past just annoying or past something that is easily ignored in social media spaces that’s supposed to feel “infinite” but in fact are quite suffocating at times. It’s beyond this and it makes me ill. I tried to ignore it. I tried to only vent when I felt bad on a particular day, and then ignore it the rest of the time, but I cannot any longer. I literally have to write this to avoid deleting my accounts and throwing my computer/phone in the trash because that’s the level of disgust and anxiety that I am experiencing with this lately. So much critique exists for production–whether people are angry if someone “tweets too much” or people have sexist reactions to women posting “too many” selfies, for example–yet so little critique exists for consumption. With the exception of the abuse that I deal with for writing anything about State violence, womanism, Black art/music, or just being a Black woman who exists online–because the latter is deemed sufficient “offense” to warrant online violence–what I am going to describe here disgusts me more than anything else. It’s really not anger…it’s a visceral deep disgust that makes me wonder how can I use social media. I don’t know how to fit into a space where this type of consumption that I am going to describe is ignored/excused at worst and treasured at best.

One way that online consumption gets disgusting is through hyperconsumption without any regard to space or safety. No, there’s not established “amounts” of a single person you should consume or not consume. Everyone retweets. Everyone reblogs. Everyone favorites. I do all three as well. At the same time, there are people I have had to call out to stop favoriting every single one of my tweets. I don’t mean favoriting a whole thread of mine on a particular concept. That’s fine as long as it’s not a journalist or academic doing it since 99% of the time they think that favoriting entire threads or doing keyword searches with my name is “research” and everything that they “find” can be used as their content without citation. I mean every single one favorited. Or at least 75% of them. Regardless of how mundane. There’s been people doing this with every single tweet in the past. Where a “favorite” would pop up 23 seconds after I sent the tweet. This feels like suffocation and surveillance, and it is out of control. There is no one person–even those I appreciate and like or love online–where I read and then favorite every single tweet that they send. I might read every essay/article that they write if they are a good writer, but I don’t reblog every single post that they share if they use Tumblr and I usually only share their posts on Twitter (outside of if they tweeted it themselves and then I retweet it, or they don’t mind it being shared) if they are published on mainstream sites, meaning that those people have some semblance of institutional protection, something that I do not have myself. Some people I have asked before posting to Twitter because their post was that sensitive. If they mark that a post shouldn’t be reblogged, I accept that as well. I accept that people might need some space and not need me literally chasing them down like some sort of parasite in human size. I also don’t reblog their posts with a red herring added as a note or add like 4-7 paragraphs (because that is an essay, not a comment) on something totally different just to center myself in their space and thirstily hope to gain their audience’s attention. True, I am a stan of some writers–especially really good Black ones–but I am not interested in chasing them down to the point that they mention feeling suffocated. I have seen several say that they feel this way. Some have told me this in private as well.

I’ve tweeted about this before, in detail–in Archive Creeping and in Hypervisibility Hell–because this evades people. Most people have no clue what I am talking about here because in America we have to pretend that attention is always good, always currency, always the goal, and has zero consequences. (People even circulate the lie that follow count is the same as privilege; no it is not.) Some people think being obsessively consumed beyond a reasonable way should “flatter” me or instead they reply with some annoying puffery instead of actually listening to what I said about this or just leaving me alone. They think reblogging 25-50 of my essays in a single day, and old ones at that, is a good thing. Thus, someone views blogs from people who do this, and it looks like a Xerox copy of mine specifically, which is actually a small annoyance compared to the larger one of being re-exposed to be trolled on 25-50 old posts plus whatever my last 20 or so new ones might be, and not by my own awareness or choice that comes with me choosing to share old posts; that choice there makes a difference in terms of some semblance of preparation for abuse. But who cares, nothing is more important than out of control consumption with total disregard for the person being consumed or the consequences of said consumption that the person has written about for years, right? But those essays are overlooked. They’re unironically not among the ones reblogged in a way that reveals zero temperance or concern. This way, the cognitive dissonance between “I read ‘everything’ you write” and “I had ‘no clue’ you were ever trolled online ever” can be their permanent stance. Because I understand how women of colour, especially Black women, are targeted and abused online, this informs how I consume, how I share, when, and how much. At times it impacts whether I retweet another woman of colour or not because I know that people who hate me will then target that person if their audience is smaller. It informs a lot for me because I actually think about women of colour and their experiences online and at times need to elevate these experiences over my own consumption desires, to be quite honest. Yes, I think online safety matters more than sheer consumption at times. I am weird like that. Because women of colour are actually people to me–not just pain receptacles or Fact Portals to produce knowledge to consume with absolutely no self-control whatsoever–this comes to mind for me. 

Another way that online consumption gets disgusting is through endless opinion demands/attempts to control/ignoring consent. These are people who are not content with over 400K+ tweets, 1200+ essays/long form writing posts, 3000+ answered questions/comments on Ask FM, 75 Storify posts etc. of mine. Clearly not “enough.” These are people who think I “owe” them opinions on whatever the fuck they desire and to the point that they start making unpaid labor demands or violent labor demands (“debate with me on why Black people are not human and then I will pay you money;” yes, these demands have actually been sent to me and I am not being hyperbolic; I wish I were; this is how vile and how much people hate me personally and hate Black women/Black people in general) and they think that this is okay. These are also people who come slithering around demanding anti-Black opinions on Black people and homophobia or Black female celebrities, for example, and if my opinion is not vile, dehumanizing and disgusting, but in fact accurate, humane and nuanced, then the critique “didn’t happen;” it never existed to these people. These are people who will ignore lots of in-depth conversations that I choose to have online or questions that I choose to answer, and dump violent links in my mentions or messages and demand analysis of said violence. These are people who genuinely believe that hyperconsumption of visuals of Black death is “the real activism” and that their sharing of said consumption with me does not require my consent at all. These are people who see me discuss a topic on Twitter where a question is answered so they passive aggressively slither over to Ask FM to ask the same question minutes later because they like the idea of my time being wasted and my emotional labor being used for a second time. These are people who once they see that I mention that I do not want to discuss a certain topic, the idea of violating my boundaries is so deeply pleasurable to them amidst their clearly miserable and useless existences that they then start to badger me for opinions and answers on whatever topic I said that I do not want to discuss. These are people who force celebrity handles and hashtags into my tweets to try to bait me into arguments like their dog being trained. These are people who think that Black women are angry junkyard dogs so they have the fucking audacity, the utter fucking gall to slither into my messages to ask me to drag someone for them. These are people who only want to consume commentary on Black death and they follow/unfollow based on a calendar that matches extrajudicial executions, and they are angry when I share anything that brings me joy. And while a majority of these people are Whites/men, no, it’s not only them doing this. At all. Some women of colour are complicit as well.

Now is the time for the predictable victim blaming and intellectual dishonesty, yes? So let me run through the utterly quotidian garbage that will arise in response. No, I don’t hate people who share what I write, in accordance with my Content Use Policy or retweet, reblog, like and favorite in a sensible way. Of course this is okay. I am speaking of very specific hyperconsumption without regard to my space or safety and it is not the same as how people share normally, or how people engage a multitude of voices versus honing in on me in an obsessive way. I have made this clear here. Anyone who suggests these are the same is willfully obtuse and do not want to examine their own behavior; trust me. How convenient, for example, to hyperconsume behind a fake avi, fake online name, lower follower count, and not be targeted in the way that I am, while critiquing my response to what happens to me? No, I don’t mind people asking me reasonable questions and having reasonable conversations. Again, this is not the same as opinion demanding and violating consent. And if anyone cannot see the difference between obsessive and demanding behavior versus reasonable behavior, they either think that I deserve harm or they’re behaving like this and don’t want it put under a magnifying glass. And finally, no, I don’t have to “expect violence” in a “public space” because “it’s the internet” and everyone has “free speech.” I don’t need “what were you wearing” type commentary applied to online behavior and people’s out of control actions that honesty reflects misogynoir. So I am not human enough to consider my reasonable space and necessary safety, I am only a product to consume and should be “glad” to be consumed in these really outlandish ways, and I “owe” emotional and intellectual labor to people on demand? All of this is about dehumanization. And some of it is about how utterly disgusting consumption can become and mainly because we are, again, in a society that tells people that there’s no higher virtue than being consumed and no higher currency other than attention, which regularly gets placed over money even, in a social way, if not in a structural way, of course. 

Does everyone interact with me in the above-referenced ways? Of course not. I have normal conversations, share jokes and laughter and love, discuss important issues, and shoot the breeze about photography, makeup, tv, film, music, food, travel, books etc. with cool people almost everyday. Often! Regularly! I never suggested that my online experiences are all negative. Thus, really boring misogynoiristic people–who hate nuance and context, but instead love confirmation bias–will suggest that I said so or that I am “never” “happy” about social media, or that being able to name abuse acutely and better than they can name anything at all means that I am “bitter” and have an “ego.” These people are all surveillance yet zero insight though. They see what they choose because they cannot truly see Black women at all. That’s their problem ultimately, not mine. My issue is that the very disgusting ways that people consume and engage does take a toll and does make it less desirable to be online for the good moments and the cool people. It is in fact tiring. And the sad part is that I am not even only talking about “trolls.” This includes people who are “activists” and people who think they are being “kind.” The problem is even with this aspect of “kindness” (which is not really “kind,” by the way), these people still render me into an object or a machine and then are offended when I am not happy about them suggesting that they “care” about me because they view me as such a “good” machine. 

Related Posts: Black Women, Online Space and Boundaries, Social Media Is Not Automatically Introvert-FriendlyHypervisibility and Marginalization: Existing Online As A Black Woman and WriterMicroaggressions and Asshole Twitter Reply Styles (Examples)Examples Of Microaggressions That People Think Are “Clever”

matthewmesler1999 asked:

Actually, Being Homosexuel is a choice and a sin. It says so in the Bible. There's proof. And no offense, But when you show those pictures of Jesus accepting Gay Marriage is blasphemous to my religion.

I think you really need to do some research with an open mind.

Do you know that line in the bible “and a man shall not lay down with a man?” the VERY NEXT line is “and a man shall not lay down with a woman”…because the entire page is referring to the sin of temple prostitution. and do you think just MAYBE in the story of soddum and gammora the story is more about the sin of rape than the sin of homosexual rape? …just a thought :P

The bible “New King James Bible”  to be exact, is actually more “pro gay” and “con divorce” then I think you realize.  Like I used to think polygamy (while completely encouraged by the Bible) I thought it was horrible and lead to cheating and child brides. Turns out not all Mormons, or any other people who are polygamist actually want everyone in the relationship(s) involved to know whats going on, and make sure everyone is feeling, safe, comfortable and happy with the situation, and like most people they also agree children should not be in romantic or sexual relationships of any kind, especially with people 18 and up.

I hope one day you realize; like I did, that if everyone involved is 18 and up and everything is safe, sane and consensual, and if it makes someone happy, anything goes! It really is o.k.!

The only thing in the entire bible that even sounds like it is against homosexually is Paul in the book of Romans, ya know the guy who tried to commit genocide against Christians for many years? He calls it “unnatural”  the literal and Hebrew translation of this word is “uncommon”.

and you know the passage that says “marriage is between a man and a woman” it goes on the talk about how you can marry a girl before she gets her period (meaning child brides are o.k.), and how you can make her your salve, and how you can have more than one wife…ya.

You don’t have to believe me, just read your bible.

So I take it since I’m white, you think me dating a black person would be a sin and a choice?

We look back on those who felt interracial marriage was a choice and a sin, 50 years ago and think “What hateful, ignorant bigots that used the words of a god “who so loved the earth” to hate! What were they thinking? Love is Love, they weren’t hurting anyone, isn’t everyone entitled to find happiness in their own way?, black or white we are all people.”


50 years from now most Americans will be thinking “What hateful, ignorant bigots that used the words of a god “who so loved the earth”to hate!  What were they thinking? Love is Love, they weren’t hurting anyone, isn’t everyone entitled to find happiness in their own way?, gay or straight we are all people.”


We don’t choose who we fall in love with, do you choose who you fall in love with or who you find attractive?

I was born bisexual the same way I was born with blue eyes. That is not an opinion it is a fact.

and If I could have chosen to be gay or bi or straight , do you know what I would have chosen to be?

happy.

Religion should be about finding truth, comfort and happiness…I hope you learn that someday for your own sake and happiness.

The fact you are using the word of god to hate, and not accept the people he loves and put on this earth himself is blasphemous, not  blasphemous to your god but to the loving spirit of all humanity.

anonymous asked:

Hiya! I was wondering, is it normal to think about or consider kissing the same gender? I'm a girl and I'm straight but sometimes I just wonder what it's like. Thanks and I love what you guys do! You are all such an inspiration to me.

Hullo!

This has to be the sweetest way anyone has ever asked us this question!  I love it.

We have many admins here who are all about smooching people of the same gender.  Our founder and fearless leader, Jori, thinks about little else. Maybe 2% of the time she is thinking about dogs, or making fun of me, or figuring out which toothbrush to buy, and the rest of the time is spent thinking about smooching one particular girl.  It’s amazing we get anything done around here.

To answer your question, it is indeed perfectly normal to think about smooching all sorts of people, even right on the mouth.

With your mouth.

I apologize if that got a little PG-13.

In all seriousness, having these feelings, or being curious about things like this is almost universal.  You can be straight as can be and wonder what it would be like to kiss another girl.  You can be as gay as it gets and still daydream about a passionate heteronormative kiss (which is what I call them).  You can find the idea of romance and kissing and all the rest of it completely unappealing, but maybe if it was just a little kiss from that one person…Wondering what those things would be like is perfectly natural.

I can say that I consider myself more or less purely heterosexual and I have been married to the most beautiful woman on earth for 11 years now (and listen - no one is more surprised by this than me).  As a general rule, I can’t really understand why anyone finds men attractive.  I don’t get what there is to like there, you know?  However, this doesn’t stop me from having a massive secret crush on Mountain Goats bassist Peter Hughes, and wondering what it would be like to kiss him.  Obviously I would never reveal this secret to anyone, but I’m still 95% serious about my crush.  I can’t explain it, except to say that he is a stunningly beautiful man.

Sexuality exists along a continuum.  Maybe there are people who are firmly at a set position on that spectrum - “the world’s straightest person!” - but even fairly firm general rules (e.g. “I am only attracted to women”) may not hold when you start talking about individual people (”I am only attracted to women…and also Peter Hughes”).  And even if you really are only attracted to a single gender, there can still be curiosity about smooching someone of a different gender - the curiosity can be about a single person in particular, or maybe just the general idea of trying this different thing.

One thing that I notice as a 34-year-old on tumblr, is that ideas about gender (and sexuality) are way less fixed than they were when I was younger.  Gender is a more fluid thing, with fuzzier dividing lines or boundaries, nowadays.  These are not new ideas by any stretch of the imagination, but the widespread acceptance and discussion of gender existing beyond a simple binary was just not part of my experience even into my 20s.  Younger people seem to take this all as just blindingly obvious now.  In my defense, you all have the internet.  If I wanted to learn about girls, say, I had to read an article in an encyclopedia from the 1950s.  And that just did not have the answers I was looking for.  This was in Southern Indiana, mind you, where it is still a criminal offense to tell students where babies come from.  I still have no idea!  And I have two kids!

If you are told that gender and sexuality are these highly defined, very hard and fast things, it can be really troubling when you have curiosity or desires that don’t 100% conform to the categories you have been put in.  I imagine (and this seems to be the case, just talking to people I know and seeing how these issues are discussed on this blog) that it’s easier to just sort of accept that you’re interested in smooching whoever you find smoochable if the message is not “you are a heterosexual woman, and that means you find only these kinds of people attractive!”  When the potential smoocher and smoochee are in more fluid, loosely defined groups, it makes way more sense that having some curiosity about these things is totally normal.  And it absolutely is! 

I like the word “smooch.”


I always thought you were cool,

Pete

2

lets KILL THE GENDER BINARY, sweetheart.
In honour of Vancouver Pride every year I make a new shirt. 
This year I will be sticking it to the gender binary with a few of my close pals.
remember you hooligans: gender is a spectrum!