gen. george s. patton

A Public Service Announcement from Gen. George S. Patton,

“97% of Americans do not get the minimum daily requirement of 28-38 grams of dietary fiber, which is necessary for digestive health, blood sugar maintenance, cholesterol maintenance, cancer prevention, and obesity prevention. 50% are Americans are severely deficient. SO EAT YOUR GODDAMN FIBER YOU STUPID FUCKS OR I WILL PERSONALLY SLAP YOU, GRAB YOU BY THE BALLS AND KICK YOU IN THE ASS!!!!”

“A man must know his destiny… if he does not recognize it, then he is lost. By this I mean, once, twice, or at the very most, three times, fate will reach out and tap a man on the shoulder… if he has the imagination, he will turn around and fate will point out to him what fork in the road he should take, if he has the guts, he will take it.”

—Gen. George S. Patton


The Montgomery Double,

Before the Allied invasion of Normandy there were a number of deception campaigns to convince the German High Command that the invasion would occur anywhere but Normandy.  One deception campaign involved the creation of a phantom army supposedly lead by Gen. George S. Patton.  Others were created in an attempt to fool the Germans that landings would occur in Norway.  Yet others were carried out to give the illusion that the landings would occur either on the Bay of Biscay or in Southern France near Marsailles. 

The supposed invasion of Southern France, called Operation Vendetta, involved the enlistment of a low ranking British Army officer named Lt. M. E. Clifton James.  Lt. James was originally born in Australia and served with distinction at the Battle of the Somme during World War I.  In between wars he made a living as an actor, then rejoined the British Army for World War II, were he was assigned as a pay clerk.  On his off time he used his acting talents to entertain the troops.

Lt. James was very unique in one important regard, he looked remarkably like the famed British commander Field Marshal Bernard Montgomery.  Seven weeks before the D-Day landings James was recruited to play the most important role of his life, that of the Field Marshal himself.

Lt. James studied the habits and mannerisms of Montgomery, learning how to walk, talk, and behave like the Field Marshal.  He even had a prosthetic finger constructed to replace a finger he had lost during World War I.  The task of becoming Montgomery’s double was no easy task, as the two had almost opposite personalities and little in common.  Perhaps the most difficult aspect of Monty’s habits was his tee totaling, non-smoking ways, as Lt. James was a smoker who had a penchant for whiskey.  

By the time of the D-Day invasion, Clifton James was almost identical to the real Monty. He was flown to Gibraltar in Churchill’s personal plane, then flown to Algeria to take command of a supposed invasion force stationed there.  All the while, German spies tracked his progress, in particular a German employed Spanish spy named Ignacio Perez.  James made a number of public appearances in Algeria, then was secretly whisked away to Cairo, where he was given a large supply of whiskey as congratulations for a job well done.  During his five week service as Monty’s double he was also paid a Field Marshal’s salary.

Operation Vendetta was a success as the German Army redirected a few divisions of soldiers to reinforce Marseilles.  The bulk of the deception however centered on Operation Fortitude, where Patton’s phantom army had Hitler so convinced that the invasion would occur at Calais, the bulk of the German Army remained stationed at the port even after Allied Forces landed at Normandy.

By the way, Lt. Clifton James is pictured in the left photo, while the real Montgomery is pictured in the right photo.


Fun History Fact,

Despite being portrayed in movies and TV as having a rough, gruff, commanding voice, this is what Gen. George S. Patton really sounded like.

From a speech given in Boston, June 1945.

Looted Art Treasures

General Dwight D Eisenhower, Supreme Allied commander, inspects art treasures looted by the Germans and stored away in the Merkers salt mine. Behind GEN Eisenhower are General Omar N. Bradley (left), CG of the 12th Army Group, and (right) LT Gen George S. Patton, Jr, CG, 3rd U.S. Army. 4/12/45.
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