The anatomy of a cow poem, or ‘bredlik’

The poem is generally first person and begins with “My name is…”, unless part of a series; series are structured as dialogues.

Cow poems are in strict iambic dimeter.

A cow poem has the scheme *A*A*B*B.

The cow stanza is a 6-line stanza followed by a 2-line ‘punchline’, varying on “I [do the thing]//I lick the [thing]; much like Benadryl Cabbagepatch, the closer the conformity, the better the effect.

Spelling is more-or-less phonetic, especially for vowels, with some exceptions (classical cow poems make exceptions for “I”, notably) and certainly no numbers; the effect is often described as 'pseudo Chaucerian’. The grammar too is fairly standard.

Or to put it another way

My naym is pome
And wen you noe
The rouls that mayk
My strukchur floe
And poeits bend
Tou hone ther art

I mayk you smyl
I tuch the hart 

My nayme is Cowe,🐄
The grasse I eate,🌱
The sunne is warm,🌞
The aire is sweete,🌬

I luv my friends,❤
The cowes and sheep,🐄🐑
In day we romp,🐄
At nighte we sleep,🐮😴

We slumber then,🐮😴
At least so thinks🤔
The human men,👬

In eeriye mist,🌫
I care'flly go😐
A bovine tryste 🐄
(The men don’t knowe),👬😯

A Cowe I like,🐄
Who likes me backe,🐂
She’s white and browne,🐂
I’m white and blacke,🐄

I have but one☝️
Detail to say,😊
I lik her head,🐄😛🐂
This Cowe is gaye :) 🐄❤️💛💚💙💜🐂

And such concludes🙋🏽
My poeme nowe,📝
The storye of📖
Lesbiane Cowe.💖🐄💖🐄💖🐄💖