You ever really think about how Amethyst knew nothing about herself prior to Rose dying? Because I do.

Amethyst has learned more since Rose died and Steven was born than she did in the thousands of years prior she’s been with them. More than that- she’s respected more now than she was before Rose died. They don’t carry her like a ragdoll or chuck sticks to make her leave them be. She’s not just Amethyst the troublemaker anymore. She’s Amethyst the Crystal Gem. 

It took them thousands of years to get to this point. Thousands.

But it’s always been that way for the newbie, hasn’t it? Steven is just as out of the loop. Steven has been ignored and refused information as a staple of his entire life. It’s a battle to get the simplest tidbit out of Pearl and Garnet, and they hold all the answers.

I repeat: Pearl and Garnet know everything (in a metaphorical sense). Steven and Amethyst know next to nothing.

It’s Amethyst who first gives Steven a glimpse into the reality of Gems. It’s Amethyst who shows Steven the Kindergarten, explains to him how Gems (or, at the very least, Quartzes) are made. Amethyst gives him the keys because she’s always been forced to hotwire the car, and she doesn’t want him to have to feel that rejection like she has.

Because, outside of this, what does she know about her own history? She doesn’t. She’s been denied access. 

Would knowing she was defective hurt? Of course it would. It hurts her now. But knowing isn’t a bad thing. It’s given her understanding. Amethyst finally understands why she’s felt off from Pearl and Garnet and Rose her whole life- it’s not all in her head, it’s also in her gemetics

So many bits and pieces of her life must make sense now. Why she couldn’t beat Pearl when Rose probably could. Why she’s flung more easily by corruptions and gets hurt and poofs more easily (not more often- that’s her recklessness)- her body isn’t quite normal. It doesn’t operate under normal Gem rules.

Would knowing more about Rose’s history hurt? Of course. But it’s also key to his character. Steven’s grown up idolizing Rose. Steven honestly thinks the Gems want him to be like Rose. And, one time, maybe he even wanted to be a little like Rose.

They didn’t have to tell him about Pink Diamond. They didn’t have to tell him she started a war. All they really needed to do was talk openly about her, about her flaws as a person, but, again, he’s been refused access. Pearl and Garnet don’t want Steven to know Rose the Gem, even now. Pearl and Garnet want Steven to know Rose the Idea. And, honestly, we’re past that point now. We can’t go back to that now. But they won’t go forward, either.

That’s one of the major differences between Steven and Amethyst- Amethyst has given up trying. Amethyst takes what she knows, the little bits and bobs, sticks them together with theory glue and hotwires the car. Steven has gotten the keys handed to him, once, and still has part of them now- he has Amethyst, who doesn’t lie about Gem things anymore, she just Doesn’t Know- and he doesn’t want to hotwire the car. He wants the full set of keys. 

More than that; he’s willing to fight for the full set of keys. 

He argues when Pearl and Garnet try to shut him out. He turns away from Garnet when she asks him to stay Just Because (he still would’ve gone if she had told him about BD, of course, but he doesn’t know that then). Amethyst?

Amethyst backs off and watches the drama. She doesn’t believe for a second that it’ll get him anywhere. She’s given up. In her mind, it’s only a matter of time before Steven does too.

Corundum: A Theory on Ruby and Sapphire

Before “The Answer” aired, I had assumed the origin story of Ruby and Sapphire would reveal that the couple met doing similar work and fell in love. I figured they would have a similar purpose and a similar station in life. Why? Because historically, this show does take gemology into consideration when assigning attributes to their characters. Given that sapphires and rubies are made of the same substances and rubies are essentially red sapphires, I thought they’d have to be very similar on the show, too.

But they’re not.

Sapphire is “a rare aristocratic Homeworld Gem.” And Ruby is a “common soldier.” 

The show hasn’t identified (as of this writing, June 3, 2017) whether Sapphires or Rubies belong to a larger class the way Jaspers, Carnelians, Rose Quartzes, Amethysts, and Agates belong to the Quartz class. In Guide to the Crystal Gems, Jasper, Steven/Rose, and Amethyst are identified as “Gem Type: Quartz” but Ruby and Sapphire are not examined in factsheet format, and Garnet’s Gem type is simply listed as “Fusion.” We know Homeworld treats Sapphires and Rubies very differently, but we don’t know yet what they call their group (if it’s anything different from simply “Sapphires” and “Rubies”–it’s happened before, as in the case of how Peridots are their own class of Gem in Guide to the Crystal Gems as well).

My question is, how could the show make Sapphires and Rubies so different in Gem society but use real-world gemstones that are so similar to each other? Besides making a very cute case for how Garnet’s Gems are so predisposed to being compatible, it doesn’t make much sense story-wise if gemology is taken into account. So I’ve come up with a theory.

Now, this is not an outright theory theory, because I wouldn’t say I actually think this is likely to be the canon explanation. But I’ve got an idea of how everything canon up to this point could still point to Sapphires and Rubies coming from a Corundum group by in-show logic as well.

We currently have several pieces of evidence that Homeworld’s Gem production is frequently imperfect, right?

Exhibit A: Amethyst.

Amethyst stayed in the ground too long. This was not planned, but it happened. Homeworld can’t necessarily control when the Gems emerge.

Exhibit B: Jasper’s acknowledgment of rejected Gems.

Jasper claims that every Gem is made with a purpose: to serve the order of the Diamonds. If they don’t fit, they are not included in society.

Exhibit C: The Rutile Twins.

They claim they’re “Just a Rutile that came out wrong.” This can happen accidentally, naturally, and result in a Gem who doesn’t fit. Whether it’s an error of placement by Homeworld or gemetic defect, sometimes Gems don’t form perfectly.

We know from Peridot’s discussion of red sandstone and Amethyst’s explanation of squirting “goo” into the ground that Homeworld chooses both the site and the type of substance injected, though it’s unknown as to whether the type of Gem that emerges is determined more from one or the other. (Maybe if you squirt Quartz “goo” into the red sandstone, you get Carnelians and Jaspers, while if you squirt it into the Prime Kindergarten’s rock makeup, you get Amethysts?) I presume that typical Gem production results in significant variation–more so than Homeworld would like. What if, in some cases, the rare variation is unusually useful, and it becomes the one Homeworld is trying to make, while the more common result is treated like a by-product?

Conclusion: If Gems come out “wrong” frequently enough that there’s a policy for dealing with them, Homeworld must know some Gems will not come out how they’re intended or expected to. And maybe they even count on it.

So what does this have to do with Ruby and Sapphire? So, maybe when they’re trying to make Sapphires, they plant the right “goo” in the right Kindergarten for Corundum, and once in a while the trace elements will balance out correctly to result in a Sapphire. But most of the time, Rubies will result. They’re common, and expendable, and they’re a necessary by-product for making Sapphires. Homeworld realizes Rubies are generally not incredibly bright, but they’re energetic and willing to take orders, and they can be powerful when they’re fused. They can use them, but maybe when they make Rubies, they’re really trying to make Sapphires.

And that’s my pseudo-theory: Rubies are the by-product of Homeworld trying to make Sapphires, and only a small, unpredictable alteration of gemetic material can result in success.

I would feel really cool if this turned out to be right.


ALRIGHT SO!! here are my redesigns for my two least favorite fusions in SU,Rainbow Quartz and Stevonnie. Not to say they aren’t good characters,I for one really love Stevonnie but speaking from a fusion standpoint they both don’t make sense to me. I’ll break down more under the cut.

Keep reading

run-on-lightning  asked:

Fluff The Angst : Peridot is gemetically incapable of fusion

Garnet wasn’t surprised to find Peridot on the Temple door, hand raised to knock on it;  Future Vision had been the very reason Garnet preempted the knocking. But she had elected not too Look too closely at what would happen after that, and so was taken a little aback when Peridot began by asking, “Does your offer to fuse still stand?”

Blinking once behind her visor, Garnet said, “Yes.”

“Oh!” Peridot’s face turned an ever darker shade of green, and she wrung her hands before belting out, “Then may we attempt fusion?!”

Smiling, Garnet said, “Yes.”

They went outside onto the deck to try– it was unwise doing so inside the house, since they had no idea how large they could end up being, and the porch was an easier surface to dance on than sand. 

It felt much like the first time they had tried, back when they’d still been building the drill. Peridot wasn’t as stammering and nervous, not trying to bolster herself with props. She didn’t fear fusion now– she anticipated it, quite eagerly. But as Garnet led the dance, she could still feel some hesitance in her partner. Only understandable, of course, and Garnet did her best to sooth it, with soft smiles and gentle touches and warm encouragement–

Garnet felt that familiar warmth and connection flowing through her. Could feel that light radiating from her gems. Peridot’s was glowing too, a bright beacon from her head. Garnet lifted her up, pulled her close– the light grew brighter–

– and nothing happened.

“Oh,” Peridot said, finding herself still in Garnet’s arms, dangling in the air.

Garnet put her down gently. “Don’t worry. It’s perfectly fine if it doesn’t work the first time–”


Peridot’s visor had gone a little foggy.

Garnet didn’t press. She stood there silently, and after a little sniffling, Peridot provided an explanation. 

“I’ve been dancing with Lapis– a considerable amount, as part of our continued development of our musical skills and– nothing has happened. Not once. A few times our gems have glowed but… nothing. Lapis thinks– thinks it’s her. She hasn’t said as much, but she’s become reluctant to dance, and I can just… tell.

“But that was a very small sample size, so I have attempted with others. Well, not attempted, per say. Nothing as formalized as what I have conducted with you. But during my ‘hanging out’ with both Amethyst and Steven, similar incidents have occurred. We have been enjoying music. We have been happy. Our gems have glowed. And still we have not achieved fusion.”

“Ah,” said Garnet.

“That’s why I went to you. You are the… expert on fusion. But if I can not succeed with even you as a partner, then the conclusion is inescapable. I am the one incapable of fusion.”

Garnet sat down on the porch, crossing her legs. Peridot blinked at her.

“It doesn’t matter,” the fusion said.


“It doesn’t matter,” Garnet repeated.

Peridot looked confused. Confused, and angry. “Do not attempt to soothe my feelings. I know how important fusion is to you, so–”

“Fusion is important to me,” Garnet agreed. “But it’s not the most important thing.”

“Then… what is?”

“Relationships,” said Garnet. “Romance. Friendship. Family. Love.” She smiled at the human words. “Those are what make fusion special. And you have all of those in abundance.”

“But– but– surely fusion is–”

“Just another way of experiencing them.” Garnet laid a hand on Peridot’s shoulder. “And I am sorry you might not get to have that experience. But it’s not a big problem. After all, humans can’t fuse either, and they get along just fine.”

“But I’m not a human,” she muttered.

“Humans and Gems are not so different,” Garnet said. “Human society is built on relationships, fusion or not. And our species are capable of building relationships without it, too. Look at Steven and his father, or Pearl and Connie.”

Peridot pressed her lips together, and said nothing. She seemed a little comforted, but not much.

Garnet considered saying something more, but decided she wasn’t the right person– or people– for the job.

Peridot’s head jerked up at the flash of light.

Ruby and Sapphire grinned at her.

“What?” said Peridot.

Ruby grabbed her by the hand, and tugged. “C’mon,” she said.

“Let’s go for a walk down the beach,” said Sapphire.

“But–” Peridot shook her head. “Okay,” she said, allowing the others to lead the way. In a small voice she said, “Wow, thanks.”

The three of them went off together, hand in hand.  

anonymous asked:

Is steven basically an exact(DNA wise) copy of Greg? Rose has no actually DNA to give the only thing she gave was her gem and all its abilities so in order for steven to get the 32 chromosomes he need they would all have to be from Greg. So since that isnt scientifically possible did Rose make chromosomes to give? And if so does that mean steven really is only half human because he only has 16 human chromosomes? Which mean all his characteristics (face, body, hair color, etc.) is only from greg.

well you seem to know more about  genetics then i do,  and while i  think you’re mostly correct i do think  gems have  some form of DNA  or GNA, Gemetics etc. But steven isn’t just a copy of greg, for one his hair is darker then his fathers,  and judging from his DeMayo heritage he seems to be italian  or something so while gregs hair is brown  his sons hair is black, or blackish,

besides they don’t look the same assuming steven is around the same age as greg in this shot. if he were a  clone or an exact replica  of greg he’d look exactly like greg and he doesn’t. 

Aquamarine, you say?

Well, she’s not an Era-2 Lapis, like I’d guessed, but I still feel like there’s gotta be a connection there. Her wand works very similarly to Peridot’s tech, she’s got a smooth teardrop shaped gem, and the word aqua is right there in her name. She may not be a Lapis, but she is something gemetically similar. 

(I wish I could take credit for that pun, but Peridot used it once a while back)

I’ve said in a post that I think Homeworld is modeled as Ancient Space Egyptians, and that may owe more than a little bit to the stories told about the Israelites in the land of Egypt as told in the Torah, specifically how the Diamonds are like the Pharaohs. If I may borrow a quote from the excellent Prince of Egypt movie, the Diamonds, like the Pharaohs, see themselves as “the morning and evening star,” as divinely (or gemetically) anointed rulers. So here’s some thoughts about how the Diamonds, aka the Intergalactic Tyrants, might be drawing a few traits from the Pharaohs mentioned in two of the most popular stories. 

Of all the characters we’ve met, Yellow Diamond is the biggest hard-ass and has dealt with the trauma of the war by pretending she has no emotions over it - but clearly she does. YD is supposed to be the most rational of the Diamonds, who says she’s trying to do right by her people, but so far she’s revealed herself to be a pretty irrational leader, throwing aside attempts at reconciliation because of her pride and how much the war has hurt her. Her people are suffering under a resource crisis, one that Peridot might have a solution for that would help Gems while preserving organic life on Earth. But YD will have none of it. It’s what made Peridot disillusioned with her:

Yellow Diamond: I’ve heard enough! I don’t care about potential and resources.
Peridot: What?!
Yellow Diamond: I want my Cluster, and I want that planet to die. Just make that happen.

Compare to the unnamed Pharaoh (popularly interpreted as Ramesses II) in the book of Exodus, whose heart was hardened to let Egypt suffer under the plagues for not letting the Israelites go:

“So Moses and Aaron went to Pharaoh and said to him, ‘Thus says the Lord, the God of the Hebrews, “How Long will you refuse to humble yourself before Me? Let My people go that they may worship Me. For if you refuse to let My people go, tomorrow I will bring locusts on your territory. They shall cover the surface of the land, so that no one will be able to see your land. They shall devour the surviving remnant that was left to you after the hail; and they shall eat away all your trees that grow in the field. Moreover, they shall fill your palaces and the houses of all your courtiers and of all the Egyptians - something that neither your fathers nor fathers’ fathers have seen from the day they appeared on earth to this day.”’ With that he turned and left Pharaoh’s presence.

Pharaoh’s courtiers said to him, ‘How long shall this one be a snare to us? Let the men go to worship the Lord their God! Are you not yet aware that Egypt is lost?’” (The Torah, Exodus, Ch. 10)

It takes an exceptional act to finally spur both Pharaoh to let the Israelites go (the death of the firstborn) and for YD to give up the war (presumably the death of Pink Diamond). And yet, both didn’t completely surrender. Pharaoh chased the Israelites until Moses led them through the Red Sea. YD left the Cluster in the heart of the Earth in hopes that it would blow up the planet she’s come to hate.

Blue Diamond, by contrast, is a diplomat and a sentimentalist. While she by absolutely no means treats any of her subjects as equals, and in fact can be quite terrifying, she at least doesn’t want the Earth to blow up. She’s very attached to things from the planet, since they remind her of PD:

Blue Diamond: I’m surprised that a human being is capable of understanding how I feel. It’s a shame. There’s a geo-weapon incubating in your planet that will destroy everything shortly. But you don’t deserve that, do you?
Greg: Geo-weapon, huh?
Blue Diamond: You know, I really shouldn’t be here. But I’m glad I came back one last time. I can save one last piece of her legacy.

That potentially makes her the one that could be reasoned with - at least with regards to not making the Earth go boom (dismantling the caste of Homeworld is an entirely different subject). BD, in my opinion, has some qualities about her that harken back to the Pharaoh from Joseph’s story in Genesis. 

BD looked to her courtier Sapphire to predict what would happen on their diplomatic mission; she seemed to be someone who relied on prophecy, and was very upset when what Sapphire foresaw did not end up happening. In Genesis, the Pharaoh was also ruled by prophecy, plagued by dreams of seven lean cows eating seven healthy cows, and seven scorched stalks strangling seven plentiful ears of grain. And it was Joseph who was called to interpret his dreams:

“‘It is just as I have told Pharaoh: God has revealed to Pharaoh what He is about to do. Immediately ahead are seven years of great abundance in all the land of Egypt. After them will come seven years of famine, and all the abundance in the land of Egypt will be forgotten. As the land is ravaged by famine, no trace of the abundance will be left in the land because of the famine thereafter, for it will be very severe. As for Pharaoh having had the same dream twice, it means that the matter has been determined by God, and that God will soon carry it out.

‘Accordingly, let Pharaoh find a man of discernment and wisdom, and let him over the land of Egypt. And let Pharaoh take steps to appoint overseers over the land, and organize the land of Egypt in the seven years of plenty. Let all the food of these good years that are coming be gathered, and let the grain be collected under Pharaoh’s authority as food to be stored in the cities. Let the food be a reserve for the land for the seven years of famine which will come upon the land of Egypt, so that the land may not perish in the famine.’” (The Torah, Genesis, Ch. 41)

I’ve already mentioned before that I think Steven has the qualities of Joseph in him, that his ability to jump in people’s minds is reminiscent of Joseph’s dream-reading. And Steven has already jumped into BD’s mind once. He could very well be the key to getting through to her - and the Diamonds at large - and help to end the resource crisis plaguing Homeworld. 

adorkable-erin  asked:

If Peridot got a human job, what would it be? (Besides farmer, which I guess she's doing already. Is she even selling the vegetables she grew??)

I was going to jokingly dismiss the farming thing because I see Peridot in a more engineering/technology oriented role… but it’s not like her farming hobby is entirely out of character. I agree that she wouldn’t sell (or eat) the vegetables, but selectively breeding them to enhance certain traits? Exploring plant genetics? Heck yes. The Certified Kindergartener and gemetic authority might be a short green Gregor Mendel. Seeds are even placed in the Earth before they develop… just like Gems! Maybe it’s because I see a lot of myself in Peridot (synpath), but I can see her appreciating how plants are like highly complex and self-propagating machines.

Even if botany/agriculture is a hobby for Peridot (who is clearly fascinated with organic life at this time), I think a better human job for her would be technology R&D. She’s eager to show off her superior knowledge and capacity for innovation. What better way to show humans how positively archaic their technology is than by improving on it? I think she would rise to the challenge of finding work-arounds for raw materials and fabrication processes from Homeworld that Earth lacks.

hedgehogkween  asked:

Your fusionmatsu gives me life 👀✨ Who do you think would make for the most unstable fusion?


i used to put a lot of time into analyzing fusions in su and how they reflected the fusers relationships to each others and even things about themselves that we as the audience didnt really know! (BEFORE THE WEEK OF SARDONYX CAME AROUND AND THE CREWNIVERSE ADMITTED THEY JUST DRAW ““WHATEVER LOOKS COOL”“ WHEN IT CAME TO FUSIONS 🙃 🙃 🙃 )

HOWEVER!! i do know a thing or two when it comes to fusions that. make sense yanno? even though APPARENTLY theyre not supposed to so im gonna get on what makes a stable fusion and parts of fusion under the cut bc..1.ive been dying to talk about it and know what a bad unstable fusion looks like you HAVE to know what a good fusion looks like

Keep reading

te voiam dintr-o epocă în care nu existau atâtea telefoane mobile sau alte linii extinse de comunicare virtuală
în lumea ta actuală mă simt neputincioasă, pe ecran înghețată
mercurial, în oglinzi străbătute de gemete
în conștiința ©urbei ne înviorăm violaceu, ascuțit
avem nevralgii intercostale de domesticit
tehnologia asta ne-a zgâlțâit sau ne-a împietrit?

anonymous asked:

Why do you think that there are there are singular gems named after fusions, it doesn't make sense, I thought that fusion gem names are supposed unique? It's exactly like that theory you have about gems with two sets of arms. If a gem had two sets of arms I'm sure they'd be considered a defective gem.

not a tall, at least for the  gems having two arms  part.

spires are  made for,  well, high class regal gems like sapphires etc. these statues are of gems obviously, but both  in pearls hologram and statue  have four visible arms, and  cross gem fusions were  unheard of  back then, and gem fusions of the same type don’t produce extra limbs, so logically one can conclude that these gems have four arms naturally. Gems are more or less aliens, Some with one eye or three, large gems and small ones too, so i don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume that some might have extra  arms   and are not fusions,

as for  fusion gems existing as singular gems, call it a gut feeling, there  might be a  garnet that doesn’t conform to the garnet we  know in terms of physical appearance, since fusion gems looks are dependent  on their constitute gems, then again it could all be in the gemetics, maybe there  are other garnets that look exactly like ours but aren’t fusions. i  remember  hearing and or reading somewhere that the injectors inject a rainbow goop like substance  so maybe certain combinations of gems create other known gems. but again my  fusion gems existing as singular gems is just a theory. One  obviously shared by a  small or large group of the fandom. 

Gem Hierarchy Part 1: An Overview

This contains spoilers!!

Part one in a large series on Gemetics and Gem society.


Varieties- Amethyst, Rose Quartz, Jasper, Carnelian, Biggs

Main Functions: Soldiers, Guards

These Gems are created as foot soldiers and guards. All Quartz Gems so far have been created on Earth (with varying levels of success) and all share a very fun-loving but violent personality. Quartz Soldiers all have the ability to roll into a high-energy ball and roll into targets, and their body types are very muscular and tall. There are many Amethysts, Jaspers, and Carnelians on the Human Zoo Base, where they are kept busy so as not to mingle with the other Homeworld Gems. Currently, all Rose Quartz aside from Steven are held bubbled in a special chamber on the Human Zoo Base.


Main Functions: Bodyguards, Scouts, Fighters

Rubies are bodyguards and scouts, with very small bodies and fiery personalities, They work in squads (such as groups of 3 or 5) and are not very smart and are quick to anger. Rubies can generate heat and fire, especially when upset.


Main Functions: Precognition, Strategy

Sapphires can see into the future, allowing them to plan accordingly and create detailed strategies. They can also generate cold fields and ice, especially when agitated.


Varieties: Blue, White, Yellow

Main Functions: Public Servants, Status Symbol

Pearls do menial tasks such as cleaning, secretary work, and opening doors. They are referred to as ‘made to order’, and are conditioned to be very timid and to defer to their superiors. However, Pearls are also capable of the same level of thought as a Peridot when allowed to grow and also have a motherly nature.


Main Functions: Scientist, Technician

Peridots operate all known machinery the Gems use, including the Hand Ship, Gem Injectors, and Roaming Eyes. Era 2 Peridots come equipped with limb enhancer due to their diminutive size, and are able to control metal when pushed.


Main Functions: Construction Worker

Bismuth bodies can survive being superheated and can be formed into various tools for their work. Although Bismuths are employed as builders and construction workers, they can create anything that they put their mind too, including weapons.

Lapis Lazuli:

Main Functions: Terraforming

Lapis Lazuli Gems can control water, giving them enormous power. They are used to terraform planets for Homeworld use, presumably removing the water from them to make room for the many Gem structures that will perforate the planet’s crust and mantle.


Main Functions: Delegation, Discipline

Varieties: Holly Blue, Crazy Lace

Agates are disciplinarians, used to keep order among ranks and delegate tasks to lower Gems.


Main Functions: Ship Pilot

All Nephrites currently known piloted a Homeworld ship during the Gem War.


Main Functions: Leadership, Geogenesis

Varieties: Blue, Pink, White, Yellow

Diamonds are incredibly large and durable, able to withstand extreme damage. They can create new Gem species (such as Pink Diamond’s Rose Quartz cut) and can corrupt other Gems into a bestial form through a ‘song’. Diamonds are the matriarchs of Gem society and are greatly respected and feared.

Yes I coined the term Geogenesis for Gem birth

Pearl and her colors

It is interesting to me how physically different Pearl is from the other pearls we’ve met thus far on the show, or even any of the other homeworld gems. Homeworld gems wear a ‘default’ outfit which matches the Diamond they serve; we’ve observed this with Peridot, (possibly) Lapis, the Amethysts, the Rubies, and many others.

(Interestingly, Jasper [and thus, Malachite] wears a yellow diamond insignia instead of a pink one, which may explain the confusion of her loyalties by Steven in ‘Earthlings’. Perhaps after Pink was shattered, she was transferred to Yellow?). 

Pearls seem to take this a step further by being variable in gem (and thus, body) color. Blue Pearl is blue, wears blue, and serves Blue. Yellow is yellow, wears yellow, and serves Yellow. We have not seen any ‘official’ Pink or White pearls yet. But then there’s our Pearl, who wears, in some form, the colors of every member of the Diamond Authority. 

By the logic of ‘Pearl color = Pearl allegiance’ she would be a White Diamond Pearl, and yet, the little information we have suggests she was one of Pink’s. A remnant of this can be seen on her flight suit from ‘Space Race.’

But even still, her suit incorporates other diamond colors as well. 

Pink hair and socks, white skin, blue and yellow clothes - one wonders if this was a conscious choice, a rebellion. Perhaps to say that no one can own her, and she will appear as she wishes. 

However, a point is made many times in the show about having a default, preferred physical form, and attempting to shapeshift away from it for too long is dangerous. Though Pearl has changed her clothes over the millennia:

(From ‘The Answer,’ during the war; here she is wearing mostly pink, likely because she rebelled not long before)

…She has, to our knowledge, always had white skin, pink hair, and blue eyes. These are part of a Gem’s ‘gemetics’ as Peridot once put it - part of that default form that gems cannot or should not change, governed by the specific cut, color, and type of gem they possess. In comparison with other pearls, Pearl does not look much like a Pink Diamond gem. Jasper called her a defect; though on the surface this is made to refer to her having defected from homeworld, what if it’s more than that? This made me think of a meta I read a while back about Amethyst, how her ‘defect’ was a result of her gem cut and really, has given her unique abilities and advantages. Pearl is stated to be taller than most pearls, be very intelligent (with the ability and will to teach herself mechanics and swordfighting among others), and as said already, her colors don’t match who she served. Is it possible that she was a rebel from the very beginning- a defect? How did Rose find Pearl, who would have been just one of a crowd? Defective gems were likely rare on homeworld; they seem to only have become more common in the kindergartens during the rush to make new soldiers. It seems Pearl was already different, not ‘proper’ for her type. Her personality traits are classic pearl so she likely tried very hard to fit in and be obedient, but it was probably not very difficult for Rose to convince her to rebel. Why stay with those who would not respect or appreciate you? Pearl stood out to Rose as being someone who already was different, who had potential and would be more receptive to her ideas - like Garnet was, and Amethyst. The outcasts, the defects, the freaks, the threats to order. The underdogs. Maybe in the beginning Pearl was self-conscious of her faults, that she didn’t look like a proper Pink pearl, rather a mutt. But after the rebellion, she embraced her colors, and wears them proudly as a symbol of resistance and autonomy. 

Anyway, I thought it was a cool and interesting idea! What do you guys think?

anonymous asked:

When Jasper initially disdains fusion as "a cheap tactic to make weak Gems strong", do you suppose she has anyone in particular in mind? Rubies, expendable common soldiers, seem to be made with ready stackability in mind (Crystal Ruby's sin being her choice of partner)--but I'm betting that Jasper--a Gem from the wrong side of the tracks, but who won the gemetic lottery--is pointedly distancing herself from those *other* Beta Kindergarten Quartzes, who probably do rely heavily on fusion.

Yes! A very good point coming from Anon here. There is a dichotomy between the gems we’ve seen who’ve needed to fuse in order to accomplish their tasks (e.g. the Rubies) compared to those who don’t. 

For instance, Sapphire immediately response with “Of course not,” cutting off Ruby when the latter asked if she’d ever fused before in The Answer. Higher-ranking, rarer gems, aren’t expected to have to fuse at all.

And I’ve mentioned before, that Jasper has been trying to distance herself from the Beta quartzes and the corrupted quartzes. She’s trying to find a tangible difference between them so that she can justify the system she’s been led to believe is “good for gems.” 

Which brings us to two interesting points. First, that Jasper ended up corrupting. That’s a tear in the fabric of her mind. And I’ll talk about it at length later on, but it speaks of a dissonance, like she’s forgotten who she’s supposed to be. And to someone like Jasper, whose first impressions are that she’s absolutely certain of where she stands, it speaks a lot of what’s actually going through her head.

Second, that Jasper knew how to fuse. In Jail Break, she asks Lapis to fuse with her. She puts out her hand and twirls the Lapis before dipping her. Jasper knows how to do the fusion dance, and she knows the kind of mental synchronicity fusion entails. Contrast this with how Pearl and Amethyst tried and failed to form Opal in Giant Woman and we get to see how fusing isn’t that easy.

This shows us that Jasper has had some fusion experience before, and likely it wasn’t a very good one for her to have the notions she did about fusion when she first arrived.

Why she’s like that

What stands out to you about Peridot? Her giant ego? Her childlike wonder at the simplest aspects of life on earth? Her giant ego? Her realistic depiction of psychological and physical disabilities? Her giant… hair?

Okay, admit it, it’s her ego. Peridot’s pathological narcissism is probably the most distinguishing, out-of-place and strangely endearing characteristics she’s expressed since we first met her. But do you ever wonder WHY peridot is like that?

She doesn’t seem to be very high-ranking, as Jasper was the leader of the earth mission and by her own claim the idea of a Peridot owning a Pearl seems a bit ridiculous. I doubt she’d be designed that way either, as there would be little value in engineering servants that are convinced they’re the ones who should be in charge.

No, Peridot’s inflated ego isn’t gemetic: It’s her justification for being allowed to exist!

Let’s go back a moment to a recent episode, one that’s given us a lot of insight into Peridot’s character. In Too Short To Ride, Peridot told us that she was grown in what in gem terms amounts to a drought or famine. Homeworld is running desperately low on resources, and in order to conserve resources, Peridots are now grown lacking even some of the most basic gem powers like shapeshifting.

Now, the fact that homeworld keeps making gems despite nutrient shortages sort of implies that gems are being killed in battle faster than they can capture  or defend colonies, which means most of the gems dying are almost certainly Rubies and Quartzes. The end result is that even with rationing, very few new Peridots would be produced, or as she put it herself

“I do not have to grow! This height is indicative of my rarity and importance!”

Peridots are not rare gems, but her small stature, a symbol of her birth in a midst of a scarcity is something that few other Peridots have. She’s a cheap imitation, barely a Peridot at all, but she was created and deliberately designed to be the way she is, and to Peridot, who thought of her leaders as flawless and empire as the pinnacle of civilization, that means she has to be important. If she wasn’t, then why was she there? She’s there because she’s useful!

Peridot: Don’t you see? None of that matters! All that matters is that I’m of use to Yellow Diamond!

I can’t imagine this was easy for her. She’s weak, powerless, low ranking, and to many (particularly military types like Jasper) an indulgence of a a being. In those circumstances, her only options were narcissism and despair, so she picked the one that allowed her to survive.

Maybe that’s what gave her the strength in Message Recieved to stand up to Yellow Diamond herself. 

Peridot: The organic ecosystem creates resources unique to this world, we can’t sacrifice all that potential just for one geo-weapon! I’d like to tell you some plans I came up with to utilize a planet without disrupting the local -

Yellow Diamond: I’ve heard enough! I don’t care about potential and resources.

Peridot: No!

After everything she’d been through, Peridot found the purpose she needed to justify her own existence, the reason she was useful. She’d found an ecosystem that could breathe new life into her own species, and proven herself every bit as important as she thought she was.

And Yellow Diamond shut her down.

Ask me: What do I know about what what happens when an unstoppable derision meets an unmovable ego?

Peridot: Apparently more than YOU! You… CLOD!!!!

anonymous asked:

Is Jet's beak like thing a part of her outfit or her form? BP looks nervous, is it really wise to trust her power, when it seems so dangerous? (Is the outfit based on a plague doctor's?)

 Her beak is indeed part of her outfit, though she never removes it. 

She wouldn’t do anything unless ordered to do so, Jets just make other gems nervous. Though they are relatively soft gems, they’re rather rare and have very interesting and powerful abilities. She has limited healing but on homeworld they used to be executioners. Now replaced by robonoids they still work as part of white diamonds court, experimenting with gemetic weapons. Jet as a stone is great for alleviating grief and purification. This is reflected in their abilities to manipulate a gems condition including making them feel the gem version of ill, tired, or even making them lose stability. This Jet has an extra something up her sleeve  with the ability to manipulate a gem even when in a poofed state. She can change, add or even erase memories. The bubbles in her room contain random gem shards that she is trying to move the minds of into a new gem. This is taboo on homeworld as shattered gems are considered dead, but Jet sees differently. 

Miscellaneous thoughts. 

  • Peridot’s a certified Kindergartener, which means it’s something she had to learn and get tested for
  • So maybe there’s different ranks even within the whole group of Peridots
  • Gems aren’t made tabula rasa, they have different aptitudes and dispositions for different things
  • But they do have to learn, and they have the capacity to learn and change. Pearl, for example. 
  • Amethyst probably missed out on so much Quartz soldier training, learning tactics, different fighting techniques, even leadership skills. No formal training.
  • A conscious decision on Rose’s part. She kept everything secret to Amethyst and had Garnet and Pearl follow suit. She tried to give Amethyst a completely Homeworld-free upbringing. 
  • I wonder if Rose ever bonded with Amethyst over their Quartz similarities?   
  • Steven Universe is taking on the ‘nature vs nurture’ debate and I’m excite

  • Back to Peridot
  • She’s involved with the development of whole new generations of gems
  • So she might be the first Gem new Gems see when they first emerge
  • She’s responsible for integrating them into Gem society, she has to immediately enforce the hierarchy and correct behavior
  • She’s got info on all types of gems, from creation, development, emergence, role and function 
  • Because it’s still dealing with the ‘gemetical’ nature of Gems, that’s probably why she’s also working on the Cluster 
  • If she stays, maybe she can really help with curing the corrupted Gems 
  • Help the Crystal Gems learn more about Steven’s half-Gem nature and unique powers as well
  • fusion is hated because it can mix castes 
  • doesn’t fall into defined categories, an unknown variable 
  • possible exchange of information and skills between different gems, which is a no for role-specific castes 
  • if fusion is only for fighting on Homeworld, then it’s a relationship built on duty and war, 
  • that probably won’t make for stable fusions. 

Some thoughts on the “does Jasper even know she’s the Ultimate Quartz” question.

People have already pointed out that while Peridot knows Jasper is from Beta, and knows she’s a Canon Tall McLargeHuge, she had no idea about the perfect exit hole until she saw it for herself, and was completely blown away by it despite going out of her way to look for flaws in it. This suggests Jasper never once flaunted it during their trip from Homeworld to Earth.

Jasper has her narcissistic moments (“This planet ruins everything! Well, except for me.”), but she never frames it in the “my gemetics are objectively the best” sort of way. When she’s being an absolute bitch to Amethyst, she doesn’t present herself as the Ultimate Quartz that Amethyst could never hope to aspire to. She insults her because Amethyst, in her eyes, can’t even be the bare bones of what a Quartz soldier is expected to be.

Jasper: You’re not even trying! Is it because you already know you’re a failure? You’re a quartz soldier, just like me. But you’re not like me, are you? Hahaha, you’re small!

Jasper: What do you want, runt? You here for a rematch?
Amethyst: I’m here to win!
Jasper: You were fated to lose - the moment you came out wrong!

So with Jasper I don’t think she sees herself as “I’m the Ultimate Quartz” so much as “I didn’t come out wrong”, and that’s a pretty significant distinction to make for her character. She met the minimal requirements that Homeworld set for Quartzes so that she could escape from the Earth - which she views as something that ruins Gems (“Earth is a prison. I got out because I’m better than this place.”) Her coming out as the Ultimate Quartz wasn’t because of any greater plan on Homeworld’s part and was in fact a complete accident; and ultimately it amounted to nothing, because for all of Eyeball’s going on about “the Facet Nine Kindergarten Quartz That Could,” Jasper didn’t change the course of the War. She came out gemetically perfect for the same reason all of her sisters came out malformed: Homeworld threw injectors anywhere, and they just happened to catch lightning in a bottle with one of the Gems they were growing.

So I think some people are still missing that Jasper’s narcissism is not a result of her thinking she’s perfect, it’s a result of her trying to prove she’s not defective.

The Way I Lose Her: Pelangi di Bulan Oktober

Kau adalah kumpulan-kumpulan luka yang paling aku cinta. Kesalahan yang membenarkan jalanku. Cerita singkat, dari panjangnya aku mengingat. Kau tak terganti, sejauh apapun kau melangkah pergi. Di hatiku, kau selalu punya tempat khususmu sendiri. Datanglah lagi nanti lain hari, ketika cinta bukan datang hanya untuk mencoba, ketika kaki tak lagi datang hanya untuk berlari lagi, tapi ketika cinta datang karena dia memilih untuk tinggal; Selamanya.      



Setelah makan sore selesai, kita berdua pergi ke dapur untuk membereskan seluruh hasil masak-masakan yang Ipeh lakukan barusan. Kita berbagi tugas, Ipeh sibuk menata piring dan membereskan sisa-sisa makanan yang bercecer di dapur, sedangkan gue sesuai weton kelahiran gue, gue kerja di air; alias cuci piring. Ketika gue sedang asik mencuci piring, Ipeh tiba-tiba menggandeng tangan gue.

“Mbe..” Ucapnya sambil melihat serius ke arah gue.


“Sini.” Tiba-tiba Ipeh menggandeng tangan gue yang saat itu masih banyak busanya.

“Eh, mau ke mana?” Tanya gue heran.

“Ikut dulu ayo.”

“Iya iya bentar cuci tangan dulu.”

Sembari masih mecuci tangan, gue sesekali melirik ke arah Ipeh yang masih melihat ke arah gue sambil senyum-senyum sendiri. Perasaan gue jadi nggak enak kalau gini caranya.

“Udah?” Tanya Ipeh.

“Iya, mau ke mana?”


Tanpa banyak lama Ipeh menarik tangan gue sehingga mau tidak mau gue mengikutinya dari belakang. Kita masuk ke ruangan tengah lalu pergi menaiki tangga ke lantai dua. Sambil masih menggandeng tangan gue, Ipeh membuka sebuah pintu yang sudah tidak asing lagi buat gue. Pintu teras lantai dua rumahnya. Dulu gue juga pernah ke sini sama anak-anak dalam rangka belajar bareng untuk remedial Fisika yang malah berakhir dengan saling pamer kebodohan dan pergi uji nyali malem-malem di hutan komplek.

Begitu pintu dibuka, suara tetesan air hujan yang begitu deras sontak langsung mengagetkan telinga gue yang masih belum terbiasa. Suaranya benar-benar keras sekali disertai hembusan angin yang cukup besar, Bandung saat ini sedang dilanda hujan badai. Banyak banget cipratan air yang masuk ke dalam teras lantaran ditiup angin yang begitu besar, namun cipratan tersebut tidak bisa masuk terlalu jauh karena teras lantai dua rumahnya ini cukup tertutup oleh kelambu-kelambu khusus.

“Ngapain ke sini?” Tanya gue heran.

Ipeh masih menggandeng tangan gue dan tidak menjawab, dia terlihat bahagia melihat ke arah rintikan air hujan di depan kedua bola matanya itu. Membuat gue yang melihatnya menjadi begitu terkesima. Apa yang membuat gue bisa jatuh cinta banget sama cewek seperti ini ya? Bagaimana cara dia tersenyum, bagaimana cara dia menikmati sesuatu yang ada di depan bola matanya, bagaimana bola matanya berbinar ketika bahagia, bagaimana hangat lengkungan tangannya melengkung di tangan kanan gue sekarang, bagaimana deru napasnya yang begitu teratur dan terdengar nyaring mengalahkan segala bunyi berisik di teras rumah sore ini.

“Hujan, mbe..” Kata Ipeh tanpa melihat ke arah gue.

Gue hanya tersenyum mendengar dia berkata seperti itu. “Iya, hujan.” Jawab gue pelan.

Kita terdiam cukup lama, menikmati segala aroma hujan beserta musik buatan Tuhan yang diturunkan pelan-pelan dari nada-nada rintikan air luruhan awan. Di sinilah gue berdiri, di balkon tua ini lagi. Tempat di mana kisah buruk di antara gue dan Ipeh dimulai tanpa kita sadari sama sekali, dan tempat di mana semua kisah buruk itu selesai seperti hari ini. Gue di sini lagi, bersama orang yang gue cintai lagi. Sekali lagi.

“Nggak kerasa ya, udah hampir masuk setengah semester lagi. Perasaan baru berapa hari yang lalu kita duduk bareng ngerjain soal Fisika.” Kata gue sambil tetap melihat lurus ke arah depan.

“Hehehe iya, bener-bener makan hati ngajarin kalian Fisika tuh! Apalagi kamu! Ikhsan sih masih mending.” Sindir Ipeh.

“Yee enak aja. Tapi Dimas rela remedial terus selama SMA asalkan tiap remedial bisa ada di sini.” Lanjut gue lagi.

“Bener?” Ipeh melihat ke arah gue.


“Nyusahin aku sama Bobby terus dong nanti.”

“Dimas remedialnya sendirian kok, jadi cuma bakal nyusahin kamu doang.”

“Boleh deh kalau itu.”

“Hahaha maunya.”

Kita tertawa bersama ketika saling melemparkan kode yang sudah tidak perlu dijelaskan lagi. Semakin kita larut dalam pembicaraan, semakin erat pelukan tangan Ipeh memeluk tangan gue.

“Ngomong-ngomong, hutan di depan itu masih angker, Peh?” Gue kembali membuka percakapan.

“Tau ah! Bete kalau inget-inget kejadian itu lagi.”

“Hahahaha masa cuma gara-gara benang gelasan bekas layangan aja kamu sampai kaya kesurupan, dulu.” Gue tertawa keras.

“Ih! Kan aku nggak tahu! Mana gelap lagi pas itu!” Ipeh terlihat sedikit kesal kemudian menjewer telinga gue pelan.

“Sayang ya, padahal dulu kita hampir sampai di ujung. Tapi malah milih buat balik lagi.”

Ipeh hanya terdiam dan menempelkan kepalanya di pundak gue.

“Biar Nurhadi yang badan gede terus ditakutin seluruh anak seangkatan gitu tapi tetep aja masuk ke hutan gelap-gelap mah gemeter.” Gue terkekeh.

“Belum lagi si anak setan, Ikhsan, keadaan lagi serius nan mencekam eh si kampret malah sempat-sempatnya bercanda.” Tambah gue lagi.

Lagi mencoba bernostalgia menjelaskan, tiba-tiba Ipeh memotong pembicaraan gue. “Mbe, kamu masih inget hari itu?” Tanyanya.

“Eh? Iya masih. Kenapa?”

“Apa lagi yang kamu inget selain hal yang serem-serem di hutan depan itu?” Tanya Ipeh lagi.

Sejenak setelah melantunkan pertanyaanya barusan, gue langsung melihat ke arahnya yang ternyata saat itu dia juga tengah melihat ke arah gue. Gue tersenyum menatapnya, tampaknya gue mengerti ke arah mana maksud pertanyaan Ipeh barusan.

“Seandainya saat itu Dimas menjawab pertanyaan kamu. Pertanyaan tentang siapa sih kita, mungkin kita nggak harus ada di keadaan seperti sekarang ini.” Suara gue mulai berat menandakan rasa bersalah.

“Hanya karena tidak menjawab pertanyaan sesingkat itu, Dimas harus melewati berpuluh-puluh hari di mana harus jauh dari kamu. Dari kita. Datang ke sekolah nggak terasa menyenangkan lagi kala harus melihat kamu diam duduk sendirian di ujung kelas. Dan yang lebih menyakitkannya lagi, Dimas tidak bisa berbuat apa-apa. Seakan ada tembok besar yang benar-benar menghalangi setiap kita mencoba untuk dekat.”

Ipeh hanya terdiam di samping gue. Tidak bersuara dan tidak menjawab sedikitpun penjelasan gue barusan. Gue mengerti, memang sudah tidak sepantasnya Ipeh menjawab. Itu mungkin hanya akan merusak suasana yang tengah kita bangun sekarang. Biarkan semuanya gue yang bercerita, dia hanya mendengarkan. Gue nggak butuh penjelasan Ipeh, gue hanya butuh ia mengerti apa yang gue derita selama ini.

Hujan perlahan mulai tidak sederas tadi lagi, lampu-lampu rumah di depan sudah mulai dinyalakan tanda senja mulai kehilangan kegagahan warna jingganya. Di balkon yang tak cukup cahaya ini, napas gue terasa begitu berat mengingat seseorang yang begitu berarti kehadirannya untuk hidup gue saat ini sedang memeluk tangan gue erat dan menangkupkan kepalanya di pundak gue. Ada atau tidak adanya dia, waktu selalu terasa begitu menakutkan. Ketika tidak bersamanya, gue takut waktu berjalan begitu lambat. Dan ketika gue bersamanya, gue takut waktu berjalan begitu cepat.

Suara rintik-rintik hujan seakan membuat suasana semakin kelam mengingat saat ini pembicaraan kami sedang mengarah kepada pembicaraan yang selama ini selalu kami simpan sendiri di dalam hati.

“Dimas…” Gue mulai kembali berbicara, “Seharusnya saat itu Dimas menjawab. Seharusnya saat itu Dimas nggak buat kamu nunggu. Dimas nggak nyangka hanya karena Dimas menunda sebuah jawaban singkat, semua berubah menjadi serumit ini. Kehilangan kamu di saat Dimas lagi sayang-sayangnya. Dan sekarang Dimas dipaksa harus sayang sama kamu dan tidak boleh meminta lebih dari sekedar teman. Siapa sih kita sekarang? Siapa yang harus menjawab jika kita berdua saling bertanya pertanyaan yang sama? Tiap malam, Dimas selalu dihantui oleh suara-suara di kepala yang bersumpah serapah mengingat kamu harus pergi lantaran apa yang Dimas lakukan dulu.” Suara gue mulai terdengar parau, genggaman tangan gue yang menggenggam jari-jemarinya kini kian erat seiring pembicaraan ini berlangsung.

Selepas pembicaraan gue barusan, terdengar ada suara napas yang tidak beraturan dari Ipeh. Gue sadar saat ini ada air mata yang jatuh di pipinya. Rintik hujan yang lebih hangat dari segala hujan di penjuru dunia. Hujan dari kedua buah bola matanya.

“Ketika mendengar kamu nangis lagi hari ini, Dimas tersiksa sendirian. Apakah Dimas harus tidak peduli? Ataukah Dimas harus pergi menemani kamu? Memangnya kita ini siapa? Kita ini siapa? Dan kita ini siapa? Pertanyaan itu selalu terulang-ulang setiap Dimas ingin berada tepat di samping kamu ketika setidaknya kamu membutuhkan seseorang untuk mendengar.”

“Terus… kenapa kamu datang ha.. hari ini? Bukannya aku udah nyakitin hati kamu hingga kamu seperti ini? Kenapa kamu memilih untuk datang, Dim..” Tanya Ipeh dengan isak tangis yang sudah tidak bisa ia bendung lagi.

“Apa yang terjadi padanya? Apakah ia menangis sendirian? Apakah ada yang menemaninya? Apakah kak Ai atau mbak Afi mau mendengarkan ketika dia bercerita? Dimas lebih baik datang ke rumah ini daripada diam di rumah dan terus menghkawatirkan hal-hal itu. Dimas nggak peduli siapa kita sekarang, kamu milik siapa, dan Dimas ada di titik yang mana. Dimas lebih baik melipat hati sendiri hingga lebih kecil ketika mendengarkan kamu bercerita ketimbang harus diam di rumah dan dimakan oleh pemikiran-pemikiran yang Dimas buat sendiri di kepala. Dimas udah nggak peduli lagi apa yang bakal dimas dengar ketika nan…”

Belum sempat gue merampungkan kalimat gue barusan, tiba-tiba Ipeh berbalik dan memeluk gue erat. Kepalanya habis menelan dada gue. Gue terkejut, dia memeluk gue erat sekali, tangan mungilnya melingkar di punggung gue yang tidak begitu besar. Ada tangisan keras pecah malam itu. Berisiknya suara rintikan hujan seakan tidak bisa menandingi kerasnya bunyi tangisan yang berasal dari hati. Gue terdiam masih tak mengerti, tangan gue masih menjuntai ke bawah. Hari ini gue mendengar isak tangis dari seorang Hanifa yang gue kenal sebagai wanita paling tegar di kelas. Tangisnya pecah seakan dia adalah wanita paling lemah di sekolah. Segala ketegaran dan kegagahan yang ia tunjukkan di depan orang-orang seakan sirna ketika tangisnya menggema ke udara seperti seorang anak kecil yang kehilangan Ibunya.

“Mbeeeee maafin akuu..” Tiba-tiba sembari masih menangis, Ipeh berbicara dengan nada keras seperti berteriak diselingi pelukan yang kian erat. Basah air matanya bisa gue rasakan sudah merembes di sweater kesayangan gue. “Maafin aku, Mbe. Maaaaaaf.. Aku.. aku..” Ipeh mencoba berbicara tapi tertahan oleh tangisan yang ia keluarkan sendiri.


Tiba-tiba tanpa berpikir panjang, kedua tangan gue langsung membalas pelukannya erat. Erat sekali. Seerat yang gue bisa seperti saat itu gue sedang memeluk untuk mempertahankan agar dia tidak pergi lagi. Kepala gue menangkup di sebelah kepalanya. Tangisan Ipeh kian pecah semakin keras ketika peluk gue melahap seluruh tubuh mungilnya, ada satu air mata turun mengiringi betapa hangatnya hati gue saat ini. Setelah sekian lama musim kemarau melanda di hati, akhirnya kini hujan lagi. Hati gue basah, kembali hangat seperti dulu lagi.

“Aku.. Aku…” Ipeh masih berusaha berbicara.

Gue melepas pelukan gue sebentar dan menggenggam kepalanya hingga kini wajah Ipeh ada di depan wajah gue. Wajahnya sembab penuh air mata, matanya merah, rambut pendeknya lepek terkena air mata, bibirnya kering mencoba berkata-kata tapi tetap tak bisa. Ipeh saat itu masih terlihat mencoba berbicara tapi langsung gue hentikan. Gue kecup keningnya, gue kecup mata kirinya, mata kanannya, hidungnya, pipinya, lalu gue angkat kembali wajahnya agar kembali melihat ke arah gue.

“Dimas sayang Ifa. Udah cukup itu yang perlu kita tahu sekarang.” Kata gue parau yang lalu kembali memeluknya erat hingga badannya kecilnya terangkat.

Tuhan, terima kasih. Hujan kali ini, aku tidak sendirian lagi. Hujan di bulan Oktober tahun ini tampaknya tidak hanya membasahi jalanan di seluruh kota Bandung, ia juga ternyata mampu membasahi hati. Hati yang tersiksa karena sempat memilih pergi, hati yang tersiksa karena mencintai tanpa minta dimengerti, hati yang kembali utuh karena dicintai sepenuh hati. Rintik air yang perlahan tapi pasti di awal bulan Oktober, akhirnya secara pelan-pelan bisa menghancurkan tembok besar yang selama ini gagah menjulang karena keadaan.

Setelah mengalami fase berminggu-minggu patah hati dan mencoba untuk bangun lagi, pada akhirnya kini hati tempat gue berpulang, tempat cinta gue didulang, terbuka untuk yang pertama kali. Mempersilakan gue masuk ke tempat yang dulu gue pernah tinggal dengan nyaman di dalamnya. Terima kasih Dimas, karena kau telah mencoba bertahan dan tidak pergi, mungkin jika kau pergi, tidak ada aku sekarang di tempat ini.

“Perjuangan gue tidak sia-sia.” Ucap gue dalam hati sambil kian memeluk erat pemilik hati yang telah lama pergi ini.




Tiga puluh menit lagi orang tua Ipeh akan pulang. Itu artinya gue nggak bisa berlama-lama di sini. Setelah kejadian di balkon tadi, kita berdua sama-sama berjanji untuk memperbaiki semuanya menjadi seperti dulu lagi. Gue sempat bercerita bagaimana Ikhsan, Bobby, Nurhadi, dan semua teman yang lain rindu untuk bisa ceria bersama seperti dulu kala. Dan Ipeh juga berjanji untuk tidak mau menjauh lagi. Hanya saja Ipeh memberikan satu syarat yang hingga kini masih tergambar jelas di benak gue ketika mencoba mengingatnya lagi.

“Syaratnya satu. Dimas, nggak boleh pergi. Kalau aku lagi mau manja, Dimas harus ada.”

Karena udara yang mulai menusuk kulit, kami kembali masuk ke dalam rumah. Gue sempat penasaran dengan kamar Ipeh, awalnya Ipeh menolak, tapi kemudian malah dia sendiri yang memaksa gue untuk masuk ke kamarnya. Seketika gue terkejut ketika masuk ke sana, kamarnya girly banget. Beda sama penampilan Ipeh yang urakan seperti biasanya.

Gue melihat ada beberapa make-up tertata rapih di atas meja belajar. Loh sejak kapan Ipeh pake make-up? Kok gue jarang liat dia pake make-up ya? Gue makin penasaran, beberapa buku pelajaran gue dapati tergeletak berantakan di atas kasur dan meja belajar. Ada satu buku pelajaran yang kumal sekali tampak seperti habis diremasnya keras.

Gue mengambil buku itu dan seketika itu juga Ipeh langsung menyambar dan menyembunyikannya.

“Loh, kenapa?” Tanya gue heran.

“Nggak gapapa gapapa gapapa, udah ah nggak usah nanya lagi.” Jawabnya ketus.

“Bukunya lecek amat, kamu apain?”

“Tadi pas nangis karena kesel ya aku lampiasin aja ke buku tadi, aku bejek-bejek!” Jawabnya lagi.


Gue kembali  melihat-lihat seluruh isi kamarnya, beberapa kali tertawa ketika menemukan foto-foto Ipeh ketika dia masih SMP. Di sebelahnya ada juga foto Wulan. Melihat hal itu gue hanya tersenyum mengingat kalau dulu gue juga sempat punya cerita bersama Wulan walau berakhir sebelum gue mulai sama sekali.

Lagi asik-asiknya ngoprek album foto, tiba-tiba gue ditarik dan dipaksa untuk duduk di kursi meja belajar.

“Diem! Aku mau dandanin kamu pake make-up.” Kata Ipeh sambil mengambil peralatan make-upnya.

Sontak mendengar hal itu gue berontak. Gila! Ngapain juga gue pake make-up?! Disangka gue lekong apa?! Gue mencoba menolak tapi Ipeh tetap memaksa.

“Inget nggak syaratnya tadi apa?!” Tiba-tiba Ipeh mengungkit persyaratan yang baru saja dia deklarasikan di teras balkon.

Karena merasa kalah telak, akhirnya mau tidak mau gue nurut-nurut aja. Ipeh tampak riang sambil membuka seluruh botol yang entah itu botol apa gue nggak mau tahu.

“Lo bisa make-up emang, Peh?” Tanya gue ketakutkan.

“Bisa lah! Gue udah belajar! Jangan ngeremehin gitu! Gini-gini juga gue cewek!”

“Ah masa… nggak percaya ah gue.”

“Eh bener, gue belajar make-up udah lama dari semenjak kita pul…”

“Gue nggak percaya kalau elo cewek.”


Ipeh memukul kepala gue pake buku pelajaran lecek yang dari tadi dia sembunyikan itu.

Akhirnya setelah keadaan cukup tenang dan gue cukup jinak untuk dijadikan kambing percobaan, Ipeh mulai melancarkan aksinya; Dandanin gue. Sebenarnya sih gue nggak protes kalau dimake-up-in kaya gini sama Ipeh, soalnya kalau lagi dandanin orang, mau tidak mau berarti wajah Ipeh harus terfokus ke wajah gue. Nah dengan itu gue bisa melihat seluruh rona wajahnya tepat di depan muka. Maka nikmat Tuhanmu yang mana lagi yang kau dustakan.

Wajahnya Ipeh itu kalau lagi serius manisnya bukan main—menurut gue. Bagaimana dia mengkerutkan dahinya ketika mencoba mengoleskan make-up agar lebih detail. Atau bagiamana cara dia mengeluarkan lidahnya sedikit sambil menyipitkan mata ketika mengoleskan entah apaan di sekitar alis gue.

Wajah lo cantik ya, Mbe. Coba lo cewek, pasti banyak yang demen.” Ucapnya sambil asik ngoles-ngoles bedak di tatakan bedaknya.

“Lo diem ya, sekarang ini bagian yang paling penting. Maskara~” Ucapnya riang.

Ipeh kini mengambil sebuah kuas kecil lalu mendekatkan mukanya dekat sekali dengan muka gue. Matanya terfokus kepada bagian mata gue. Dan secara otomatis gue juga jadi terfokus sama matanya. Perlahan-lahan, Ipeh menempatkan maskara itu di mata gue dengan begitu telaten. Namun, tidak tahu kenapa, rasa-rasanya pakai maskara nggak pernah selama ini sebelumnya. Jantung gue jadi berdegup kencang ketika dera napasnya menghembus dan tercium di hidung gue. Wangi ciri khas keringatnya yang gue suka itu benar-benar membuat otak gue mabuk kepayang.

Dan tiba-tiba!

Dengan sigap gue menangkap tangannya yang sedang memegang kuas itu erat-erat, sontak Ipeh jadi terkejut dan langsung menatap ke arah gue. Kami terdiam, deru napas kami berdua begitu tidak karuan. Gue perlahan-lahan mendekatkan wajah gue agar semakin dekat dengan wajahnya, dan anehnya gue merasa seakan Ipeh tidak menolak sama sekali ketika gue melakukan hal itu, dia tidak menjauhkan wajahnya ketika wajah gue semakin mendekat. Suara hujan yang berjatuhan di luar pelan-pelan seperti hilang ditelan bumi, sekarang hanya ada suara jantung gue yang berdebar keras. Ada sesuatu yang berbeda yang gue rasakan, sesuatu yang bahkan berbeda ketika gue sedang mengalami hal yang sama dengan kak Hana dulu.

Mata Ipeh yang sedari tadi menatap mata gue perlahan turun hingga kini ia tak menatap gue lagi. Mulutnya sedikit terbuka. Dengan keadaan yang begitu dekat seperti ini, gue bisa merasakan deraan udara hangat yang keluar dari mulutnya. Mata gue menangkap matanya yang kini perlahan-lahan tertutup. Hingga pada akhirnya..


Bel rumah Ipeh berbunyi. Sontak kita berdua terkejut dan langsung grasak-grusuk nggak karuan karena benar-benar salah tingkah.

“Ifa! Bukain pintunya!” Kata suara di depan keras sekali.

Mendengar suara itu, Ipeh langsung menatap ke arah gue serius.

“Itu Ibu.” Ucap Ipeh yang langsung berdiri dan merapihkan kembali peralatan make-upnya yang berantakan.

Setelah cukup rapih, Ipeh kemudian bergegas pergi ke luar kamar untuk membukakan pintu. Namun entah apa yang merasuki gue saat itu, gue langsung bangkit dari tempat duduk lalu kemudian menggenggam tangannya hingga Ipeh berbalik dan menatap gue heran.


Satu kecupan hangat gue layangkan begitu saja secara cepat tepat di bibir mungilnya. Ipeh yang terkejut atas sikap gue barusan cuma bisa menatap gue heran. Gue nggak bisa menyebut itu ciuman, itu hanya sekedar kecupan biasa seperti ketika kita sedang mengecup kening atau mengecup punggung tangan di saat hendak berpamitan dengan orang tua. Ipeh masih terdiam menatap gue.

“Gue tunggu besok di sekolah.” Kata gue sambil tersenyum menggenggam tangannya.

Ipeh tak menjawab, ia hanya tersenyum, memeluk gue sebentar, lalu bergegas pergi ke bawah untuk membukakan pintu rumahnya.

Tomorrow will be a better day! Kata gue dalam hati.




06.30 Pagi

Gue masih tertidur di kamar gue seperti biasa. Setelah pamit pulang dari rumah Ipeh kemarin, kita berdua bercakap-cakap cukup panjang via telepon hingga pukul dua malam. Tidak peduli besok ada sekolah pagi, tidak peduli besok ada ulangan, kita tetap berbicara panjang lebar hingga pada akhirnya walau ayam yang dipiara pemilik warnet di sebelah udah konser begitu nyaring juga gue masih tertidur pulas di atas kasur.


HP gue nggak henti-hentinya bergetar hingga membuat gue terpaksa bangun dan mengangkatnya sambil memejamkan mata.

“Halo..” Kata gue dengan setengah nyawa yang masih melayang entah kemana.

“Mbeeeee!!! Banguuuuuuunnnn!!!!” Dari ujung telepon, gue bisa mendengar suara ceria yang sudah lama nggak pernah gue dengar.

Hmm.. kenapa?” Jawab gue sambil masih merem.

Hehehe cuma mau bilang itu aja. Bay~”

Telepon pun ditutup sepihak.

Mendengar hal barusan, gue hanya bisa tersenyum lalu dengan sigap pergi ke wc untuk mandi dan siap-siap pergi ke sekolah.

Like i said before, today will be a better day.





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