You can never truly plan a night out in Scottsdale. Scottsdale tends to throw itself on you. The most memorable nights tend to hit on two or more of the following:

1: You go somewhere you did not plan to go.

2: You run into someone from your past (i.e. High-school classmate, work colleague, or random girl you hooked up with 6 months earlier).

3: You drink too much and get overly aggressive with the bartender.

4: You end up at El Hefe and don’t recall how you got home.

Luckily, last Saturday night hit on all four of these instances (including 2a, 2b, & 2c). Bur first, here was how the night was original planned.

               Group of my buddies come over to my Old Town apartment for a few beers. We then stop by Bottled Blonde to meet up with some other friends. Have a few drinks, go grab some pizza at Gus’s, then head up to Top Golf for a few hours before calling it a night…None of that ever happened. Here’s how the night evolved…

               So the first two parts did happen. Had some beers, went to Bottled.. typical beginning to a night. At this point it’s still early and food is a necessity before fully diving into the night’s shenanigans. Pizza? Nah, sushi at Geisha. That sounds better. Hop in a cart, get there and they say 20 minute wait. We could sit on the patio but that’s not where the action is. Immediately we run into a group of girls we recognize. Former flings, high school classmates, spin instructors.. I even recognized the bartender who I knew from Whiskey Row a year or so ago. She still remembered my drink (Basil Hayden’s). One of us then gets the idea to rent the Karaoke room with the girls. This is where the night truly began. There’s no need to go into detail about the karaoke (it was a mess), but all that needs to be said is a lot of sake bombing was going down as well as a lot of butchering of 90’s hip hop.

From there we all carted to Dakota and continued the night. As I made my way across the bar, I hear someone say my name. It’s this girl I had hooked up with a few times before, each time at Dakota (in my phone I refer to her as Dakota girl/31/Kid). Let’s call her Nicole. We had cut things off a while ago because, being a single mom, she never found the time to for us get together. Plus, I was a bit younger than her and to throw a kid on top of everything was a bit too much for me to take on, at least at this point in my life. We parted ways early in the night, after saying we would try to make it work again, but I knew the same issues would arise.  As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a friend of mine from behind shout “No PDA at the bar sir.” I guess making out in a crowded room deserves a bit of scrutiny.  After she left, I noticed the bartender was being very short with me. No eye contact, no words, just not happy in general. I had met her briefly a week or two ago. I had flirted with her a bit then and maybe that’s why she was upset now. I guess having someone makeout right in front of you while you serve them a beer doesn’t really shine on positive light on that person. Oh well.

This is where the night hit its peak, which can always be traced back to the moment someone suggests going to El Hefe. And that’s what we did. Ground zero for debauchery. From there we jumped around some more.. back to Bottled, then to Whiskey, then back to Dakota. That was always a typical night. Hitting every place we could, somehow thinking one would be magically better than the last. The next memory that comes to mind is me, on my bed, clothes and boots still on, with about 8 missed calls and 5 unanswered texts from a girl I had supposedly called to come over at 3:00am but then passed out before she arrived. I have yet to hear back from her, but I imagine she could be upset. Most likely she still is. - Johnny S.