gee, i sure hope i can do this

That Did Not Just Happen

This is a little drabble I came up with while sitting on a flight myself.

That Did not Just Happen

*italics are her inner monologue

“Thanks Asshole”

Your seat mate turns to you “Pardon?”

“Oh, sorry!! Not you”

The guy in front reclined his seat all the way back, giving you no room in the already cramped airplane seat. You shift trying to fit your legs comfortably without bumping his seat

“Normally I love being tall but not today” You joke

Your neighbor huffs out a small chuckle “I get it”

A few more shifts and you finally get comfy, however your neighbor is not. He shifts around bumping you a few times

“Sorry” He apologizes only to bump you again

“Two tall people in one small airplane seat.” You say, as you really are not sure what to say

He answers with another chuckle

You look over at him

At least he’s cute you think to yourself. You could have been stuck next to some stuffy businessmen or a mom with a crying baby

“What takes you to LA?”

“Hmmm?”

“LA? Going for a holiday?”

“Oh! Um, no. I’m actually going for a job interview”

“Oh yeah? Wow. That’s cool. For what?”

You weren’t sure why he wanted to have small talk. You look over at him, watching him pull on the fabric of his jeans. His knees jiggling a little

He’s nervous

“Well, I do Press for Gillette Stadium but got offered a job with..”

“Whoa! Wait! Gillette stadium, as in where the Pats play? Like THAT Gillette stadium?”

You laugh “Yup! That’s the one”

“You work for the Pats and you’re entertaining moving. Are you crazy?” Genuine shock in his voice

Unable to hold back laughter “I’m told I’m crazy all the time. But I actually work for the Stadium. Not the team. I work in the PR department.”

“But still!”

“But still” You parrot

“Have you meet the team?” He asks, slightly awed

Awww! He’s adorable

“I’ve meet a few of the more public players. We work with them on events” you explain

“I take it you’re a pats fan?”

He shrugs “Is it obvious?”

“Just a little” You hold your finger and thumb apart

He laughs, turning more in his seat towards you

“Yeah, I’m from Boston so you know….kinda my team”

“Boston you say. Then what takes you to LA?”

You watch him blush slightly and fiddle with his jeans again

“Work”

“How generic and vague. Are you like FBI or something that you can’t say?” You tease

He answers with a puff of laughter “No, not FBI”

“Auditioning for a boy band? Male stripper? Celebrity impersonator?”

You had him laughing. You watched as he stopped playing with his seam and clap his hand on his chest

“Yup! You got me!”

“Let me guess…” You make a show of thinking, tapping your chin with your finger

“You do drag down on sunset.”

“What?” He looks at you shocked “Really? Drag with this beard?”

“Good point. Ok not a queen. So that leaves lumberjack or Just For Men model” You say

You are rewarded with a huge laugh almost a cackle. His hand hitting his chest again

You start laughing just watching him laugh

“You are crazy”

“Thank you” You say with pride in your voice

His laughter dies and he goes back to fiddling with his jeans, looking down the small aisle. Twisting and bumping your knees again

“Looking for someone? Secret rendezvous? YOU ARE FBI!” You point a finger at him

“No no! I just don’t like flying. I fly all the time so you think I would be used to it but I not.” He answers

“Ahhh! Frequent flyer, works in LA…you must be important”

You watch him blush again as he shakes his head “Nope, not important”

“Well then you have me stumped mister 15A”

“Well Miss 15B, if you must know I am an actor”

You narrow your eyes at him “Porn?”

You watch his eyes widen before he barks out a laugh again, causing the people across the aisle turn and look at you both

“Anything I’ve seen? Um…like Saving Ryan’s Privates or Teachers Pet 2 - The substitute?”

“Oh my god! What? Are those real?” His can hardly make the words out as he laughs

“Well teachers Pet wasn’t all that good” You fight back your own laugh

“Did you…Oh my God. I can't…” he wheezes out between laughing and almost crying

The flight attendant comes over to your seats

“While I am glad you both are having fun the rows behind you are not, would you mind keeping it down” she smiles sweetly before walking away

You cover your mouth with your hand, stifling your giggles

“You got us in trouble”

“Well, technically it’s your big man laugh that did it”

You are rewarded with a huge smile and another cackle. You duck your head as the attendant turns back towards you

“Sorry” He offers as a weak apology to the attendant

Turning back towards you

“You are trouble and crazy”

It’s your turn to blush

“And I don’t do porn” He scoffs

“It’s a shame! Girls love a good beard” You shrug

His mouth opens and closes as he can’t figure out how to answer

He really is cute

You sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes

“Do you not know who I am or are you playing me?” He asks

“Should I know you?” You question back

“I guess not. It’s just nice to be able to do this”

“Do what?” You wrinkle your brow not following along with his train of thought

“Be a regular guy” he answers

“Unless you are a wizard, you seem like a regular guy to me”

He gives a sad laugh “Yeah”

This is weird

“Like if you’re famous and I don’t know you, I’m the idiot here” You try to reassure him

What the hell. Is this guy famous?

You turn you head and look fully at him. He turns and looks you square in the face

He can see you studying his face

“On your left”

Realization washes over you, you feel your eyebrows raise and your mouth falls open

Oh my god you idiot! Stupid stupid stupid

“I….you….no….you” You stutter

You can see him tense

Don’t be weird

You force your mouth to shut

You’re making him uncomfortable. Do something

“Well technically you’re on my right”

You see him smile and his shoulder relax

Be cool idiot

“So you know my name, do I get to know yours?”

He wants to know my name

“Y/N” You squeak out

“Nice to meet you Y/N”

You sit a little stiff in your chair

“I made it weird, didn’t it?”

“What? No! I’m weird” You rush out. Closing your eyes and hanging your head

You are an idiot

He laughs “I like weird”

“Well I’m your girl then”

“How long are in you in LA for?”

“Uhhhh….3 days I think”

“You busy on all the days?” He questions

“Nooooooooo” You draw out the word

“Well, you’re weird and I like weird so I was wondering if you maybe wanted to hang out, go for coffee or something?”

He just called you weird

“Um. I don’t..really?” You stuttered not sure if you hearing this right

“It’s been nice to be able to talk to someone like this, and I want to do it again. If you want?”

Kill me now

“Sure” You answer very unconvincingly

He chuckles “Well don’t sound so excited about it”

“Well you know, I can’t be seen with just anybody you know” You smile at him

“I hope I’m up to your standards”

You shrug “You’ll do, I suppose”

“Gee thanks” He says with an eye roll

The announcement of your pending arrival sounds over the PA system

You are not sure what to do now, do you give him your number? Does he give you his?

He wouldn’t give you his. Moron

You dig around in your purse and find a card

“Here’s my card with my number and email”

He takes it and looks at you

Oh God he didn’t want it.

“I was thinking my driver can take you to your hotel so I know where to pick you up for when we hang out”

“If that’s ok?” He adds, looking a little nervous

Are you fucking serious?

“Yeah, for sure! Save me fifty bucks on a cab”

He shakes his head as he laughs again at you

The remainder of the flight is spend making a plan for later that night. After a bumping landing, he says a quick good bye and I’ll text you later before jumping up and making his way to the front of the plane

You sit stunned in your seat for a few minutes

THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN


Tagging my old reading list (or the ones I remember)

@lillianfromaccounting @lady-meatball @heather-lynn @ariallane @lynne-monstr @theycallmebecca

dear game of thrones fandom,

TAG YOUR SHIT APPROPRIATELY.

you’re allowed to not ship jonsa.

you’re allowed to not ship jonerys.

you’re allowed to not ship anything at all.

but tagging your anti posts and metas on why certain ships are implausible and putting it into the ship tag is disrespectful, unnecessary and annoying as all hell. 

the only reason you do it is because you have some perverse belief that you could sway someone into agreeing with you or you’re looking for an argument so you can pretend you have the upperhand. 

what does that fucking accomplish? 

ship and let ship.

have a notp? tag it in the anti tags. i’m sure you’ll find similar like minded individuals. 

DON’T TAG IT AS THE SHIP TAG.

we want only positive stuff in our tags. everyone does. no one searches a tag and goes ‘golly gee i hope i find someone in here who disagrees with me and hates this thing that i love’. and considering fandom is toxic enough as it is, being respectful and keeping spaces happy is the decent thing you can do. 

basically, what i’m saying is don’t be an asshole.

The Bet- Chapter 1

This fanfic is based on the events in this post by @toonytouart, and the ones that follow it.  I hope you like it!

Summary: Wally writes a note for Joey to read to Sammy, but ends up making a bet that he’ll regret for the rest of his life.  

               This was the worst idea he’s ever carried out.

               There was nothing he could do now.  He could only made sure he kept out of sight as the rest of the events played out.  It was only Joey and Sammy in the other room now, and Wally on the other side of a wall near them.  He intended to keep it that way.  For a moment, he considered that maybe if they never found him he wouldn’t ever get fired.

               Despite all the warning signs, Joey seemed all too eager to carry out Wally’s request, and rolled up right next to Sammy.  Sammy was already in a bad mood, as he always is in the studio, but boy was it about to get way worse.

               Joey giddily bounced in his wheelchair as he read the note, word for word.  He kept his head down and ignored Sammy as he spoke, but Wally knew that Joey was taking delight in watching as Sammy became red faced and furious.  However, it was nothing delightful for Wally.

“Ha! And it says here that your orchestra prolly’ plays badly because they mistake your nose for ya baton!” Joey declared proudly, ignoring Sammy’s increasing irritation.

                “Classic,” Joey remarked as he continued to look down at the note.

               Wally cursed himself as he pressed his body against the wall, sweating bullets and holding his breath.  He prayed that he wouldn’t be fired, if Sammy didn’t tear him to pieces first, that is.  

               For a second there was a moment of silence, but the tension hung thick in the air.  Wally could almost taste Sammy’s rage, and his own impending doom.  He wished that he never wrote that note, wished he had never handed it to Joey in the first place.

This was the absolute WORST idea I’ve ever carried out in my whole entire miserable existence. He fretted.  He’s gonna kill me-

Suddenly, Sammy spoke again, with a chillingly calm, level voice, “Honestly, I’m more surprised that that janitor can actually write semi-coherent sentences,”

Wally’s fear of Sammy immediately washed away, and rage boiled in his chest. He barely was able to bite his tongue back as Joey giggled at Sammy’s insult.  How DARE he go there! He didn’t finish college, sure, but he wasn’t an idiot for it! He had to work harder than anyone else here to pay the bills, he didn’t ask to work his life away in this dump of an animation studio!

“F*CK YOU LAWRENCE!” Wally screamed as he whirled around to face Sammy.

               Both Joey and Sammy snapped their heads up in surprise to see Wally, but Wally continued, “YOU INSENSITIVE OVERRATED BASTARD!”

               Sammy narrowed his eyes at Wally and folded his arms, firing a glare that burned holes through Wally.  “It’s not like you have the education to even conduct or read music,” He sneered.

               Wally felt his rage boil over and he angrily stomped towards Sammy.  His furious gaze never leaving Sammy’s eyes as he pointed a finger at him.  “Ya wanna bet on that ya sham? I’ll let ya know that I’m sure the orchestra could use something better than all your useless blabbering that ya call being a conductor!” Wally retorted.

               Sammy took full offense to Wally’s disrespect, and leaned down to face Wally, “WHY I OUGHT TO GET YOU FIRED-“

               However, Joey’s face immediately lit up, and Wally swore he could see a glint of red in his eyes, “A bet?”

               Sammy whirled around and snapped at Joey, “JOEY N-“

               Sammy suddenly paused, and Wally continued, “YEAH I BET ON THAT YA JERK!”

               Sammy leaned down to Wally, seemingly mocking his height, “Alright then friend, let’s see YOU conduct the band one day and we’ll see who’s right!” He jeered

               Sammy straightened his posture as he set the terms of the bet, “Try and conduct a song that I write for the band next week without anyone helping you when you conduct it, and we’ll see where you end up,” He taunted.

               Wally didn’t hesitate, he couldn’t wait to finally wipe that smug look off his face.  He ain’t won yet!

“FINE!” Wally hollered and shot out his hand, “A BETS A BET!”    

               Sammy reached out his hand, and Wally roughly shook it.  He couldn’t wait to give the sucker a taste of his own medicine!

               Sammy withdrew his hand and wiped it on his pants. Wally growled at the sick attitude Sammy was giving him, and he glared daggers at him as Sammy walked away with his nose turned up at him.  

               “By the way,” Sammy added, with a chilling, foreboding tone, “If you lose, you’re outta here,”

Wally was immediately taken aback by surprise, and he glanced at Joey for some denial of what Sammy said.  Unfortunately, Joey only gave him an all-too-happy confirmation, “Yeah I’ll fire you if you lose, no biggie!”

Joey didn’t wait for a response from Wally, and he rolled away on his wheelchair to follow Sammy.  Wally felt a wave of fear and intimidation wash over him as they left the room, but he quickly brushed it aside as he continued to yell after them, “I AINT BACKIN’ DOWN, A BET’S A BET, YA HEAR ME?”

“YA HEAR ME?!” He waved a fist in protest as he hollered, “IM GONNA PROVE YALL WRONG!”

Suddenly, Wally felt a hand on his shoulder, and he flinched in fear.  He whirled around, and he immediately recognized whose hand it was.  

“I heard all the yelling, what’s going on?” Norman asked.

Wally sighed, and sagged his shoulders.  “I screwed up, bad,”

               “I made a bet with Sammy that I was gunna conduct one of his songs he writes next week without anyone helping me when I conduct it,” Wally explained, “If I fail, I’m gonna get fired,”

               “Ouch,” Norman replied, hanging his head a little.

               “That’s real tough pal, you know Sammy and his music,” Norman commented.

                “I know Norman! I dunno what to do! I can’t conduct!” Wally sputtered, and started pulling at his hair, “If I lose this, im outta job, and im not gunna have any money to pay the landlord this month!”

“Hey friend,” Norman put an arm around his shoulders, and gave him a warm smile, “I am the band conductor, I’d be more than willing to help a friend out,”

“Wait-but what if Sammy finds out ya helping me? I’ll lose the bet since im not supposed to get help!” Wally interjected.

“Not if he doesn’t find out!” Norman chimed in, and shrugged, “Besides, you can’t get help while you’re conducting, right? I’m free this weekend anyways, and I can help you out,”

At first, Wally didn’t understand what he was getting at, but slowly, Norman’s idea started to make sense.  Sammy did say he only couldn’t get help while he was conducting next week.  

“Ya-Ya’d do that for me?” Wally asked.  

Norman chuckled.  “Sure, anything for a pal in need!”

Wally’s fearful expression slowly faded into a smile of hope, “Gee-Norman thanks! Ya too kind!”

“It’s nothing really!” Norman replied, “Besides, I’ve always wanted to have student, and there’s a lot that I want to teach you!”


Well that’s it! Hope you liked it! I‘ll try to make a second chapter soon!

EDIT: Whoops! Sorry for grammar mistakes! I’ll fix those ASAP

How each of the 7D would react if you offer them a hug:
  • Sleepy: "Sure, but hugs could make me sleepy."
  • Bashful: "Oh, gee, um..."(blushes)
  • Grumpy: "What are you, five?"
  • Doc: "Of course, but be careful of my delicate hat."
  • Sneezy: "Absolutely, but I hope I won't sneeze you away."
  • Dopey: (opens his arms)
  • Happy: "I LOVE HUGS! COME HERE!"

anonymous asked:

heeeyy can i have a kuroo and oikawa scenario teasing their extreamly gullible and innoncent girlfriend please~~ also do you accept poly ask??

Hey there, anon! I’m pretty sure you meant for the boys’ teasing to be of, ahem, NSFW level but I kind of went in the opposite direction. I hope you get a kick out of these scenarios (because I think they’re actually funny) but if this isn’t what you wanted, go ahead and send in another ask! And gee, I’m not very familiar with writing poly relationships but I might try it sometime.

Female pronouns used

It was a hot summer day and Kuroo & his girlfriend were desperately trying to beat the heat. The girl had purchased a vanilla soft-serve icecream which she was happily lapping away at, diligently working to keep it from melting. Kuroo sat beside her, casually fanning himself with his hand. His gaze was set on her adorably screwed up face as she enjoyed the treat. His eyes scrolled down from her sparkling eyes to her pink lips. He found himself captivated by the way she curled her tongue around the icecream, a sudden lump in his throat forming. The color of the icecream dripping around her mouth wasn’t helping much either as Kuroo gulped. “Hey, _____,” He recollected himself with a smirk. “You’re really enjoying that, aren’t you?” She looked up from her treat with a curious expression which switched to a giddy one. “Yup! I love icecream!” Kuroo tried ignoring the arising feeling in his nether regions as he continued with his teasing. “Well,” He huskily drawled. “I’ve got something else for you to wrap those pretty lips around.” His girlfriend fully stopped to stare at him, eyes wide. Kuroo nearly began to start mentally congratulating himself when the girl’s lips broke into a wide smile as her eyes twinkled childishly. “Oh, are we gonna go buy more icecream? Wow, let’s go!” She hopped to her feet, extending one hand to her disbelieving boyfriend in excitement. He lamely took it, allowing himself to be dragged along. “Goddamn it,” He mentally despaired.


Oikawa and his girlfriend were standing before her front door, where he was supposed to be dropping her off. Though, the brunet knew that her parents were out for the night as she had offhandedly mentioned it before their date. An idea had been festering in his mind the entire night and he was ready to launch it into action. “Well, _____-chan,” He cooed. “Today was yet another amazing date, right?” He had her in his embrace, face nuzzled to her neck. “Yeah, Tooru! It was really fun!” Unbelievably, the girl failed to notice Oikawa’s wandering hands. They rested at her butt which the brunet smirked at his findings. “You’re so soft, _____-chan,” He chirped, knowing his plan had begun. He gave a slight squeeze and chuckled. “Though I can teach you how to make me hard,” He rasped against her ear. A brief moment passed and Oikawa held his breath before he heard his girlfriend murmur, “Oikawa..” He felt a smirk playing onto his lips when it immediately slipped off of him as the girl stepped out of his grasp with a goofy grin. “Silly, you already have a six pack!” She jabbed him roughly in the chest with a giggle, ignoring the small “Oof!” he uttered. She continued to laugh, not noticing the dumbfounded look on her boyfriend’s face. The girl gave him a final smile before hopping up to give him a quick peck on the cheek. “Thanks again for tonight! I love you!” She bounced away and in one swift motion, unlocked her door and slammed it, leaving the flabbergasted Oikawa to his befuddled thoughts.

so nine year old me knew i liked girls. this confused and frightened me. i saw girls on billboards and magazines and i was like “gee i hope everybody feels this way!” but i was never sure and i had this impending feeling of doom about it. was this weird?

now only a little after this did i learn about homosexuality, but the thing is. i grew up in a very christian household, so i learned that this was bad 

so what’s a kid like me supposed to do about it? i had that thought, that thought that only tiny children that don’t understand human limitations can have. what if they can read my thoughts 

i had to throw them off.

so what do i, a ragingly gay elementary student, do to put telepathic christain parents off the path to figuring out their daughter’s secret sinful interest in ladies? well that’s obvious. i sneak on their computers and google the most straight, heterosexual, very non-gay things a small female child can google

“hairy hot guys” i thought, “ah yes, this will keep them from questioning me”

and that’s the story about how i learned that no one in that house checked their internet history

Family

Characters: Reader and the Supernatural cast
Words: 1027
Requested by Anonymous:  Can you do a oneshot where the reader is a main actor in spn and she gets attacks and the boys of the show are really angry and protective about it? Thanks! 

Warning: Reader attacked. The boys being super cute and fluff!

        You fell down on the middle of the stage dramatically after Jensen and Jared had made some kind of joke about how short you were compared to them.

           “What are you doing?” Jensen asked, standing above you.

           “Pouting,” you answered, making sure to keep your microphone near your mouth so the audience at the con could hear your response.

           “Did we hurt your feelings, Little One?” Jared asked, standing on your other side so that you had one on each side.

           “Yes.”

           “You gonna live?” Jensen asked.

           “No.”

           “Have I got to teach you boys the way to treat a lady?” Mark Sheppard asked, making his way onto the stage.

           “What are you doing out here?” Jared asked him.

           “I’m going to make sure this lady knows that there are men who will not tease her and will treat her properly,” he said, holding his hand out to you.

           You let Mark help you up, “A true gentleman. Thank you, Mark,” you said, leaning your head on his shoulder.

           “You’d prefer him?” Jensen asked.

           “He doesn’t tease me.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm snorting because I just imagined Deaf Scott Literally trying to do his Job as Phone Guy and he's holding the phone like "OH GEE WIZ I HOPE THEY PICKED UP THE PHONE"

Scott: UHH…HELLO? H-HELLO? CAN YOU HEAR ME BECAUSE I SURE CAN’T!

Fritz: Partner…just put it down.

First of all, fuck you. I was Psy’s best friend for years. I was in his house. I went to conventions alongside him. I was part of WhaChow. I took over his guild in WoW. I talked to him almost every single day for years. His dick was in my vagina. You have NO place to call any of us “victims” in quotations like that. You weren’t there. You don’t give a single shit about anyone who was hurt. Like Psy, you just want to lie and lie until you can convince yourself you’re “right”, while screaming victim yourself for all this hate you’re getting (gee, I wonder why). You are trash. Utter fucking trash. No amount of “trolling” that comes to you will ever amount to the emotional pain that I, and many many others, have gone through because of this giant fucking manchild and the shitty people like yourself that deny the pain we’ve gone through. I hope you continue to get tons of hate! I truly do! You will deserve every last bit of it!

I’m sure this post is immature as fuck from me already, but I’ve stopped caring. Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you FUCK YOU. SO MUCH.

I AM A REAL PERSON BEHIND THIS COMPUTER, WITH REAL FEELINGS, REAL PAIN, REAL EXPERIENCES, AND I, AS WELL AS EVERY OTHER PERSON WHO HAS SPOKEN UP ABOUT THEIR ABUSE, DESERVE MY WORDS TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. I HAVE NO REASON TO LIE. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS ENTIRE FUCKING SITUATION HAS HURT TO TALK ABOUT. I LOVED PSY, HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND. I SPENT A LONG TIME CONSIDERING HIM FAMILY. I IDOLED HIM AS A CHILD. I NEVER WANTED HIM TO BECOME THE PERSON HE HAS. YOU DO NOT HAVE A SINGLE FUCKING CLUE HOW BADLY, AND HOW DEEPLY, THIS ENTIRE EXPERIENCE HAS HURT ME.

And it’s not JUST me. It’s FAR from being JUST me. Your “reasons” are pathetic and backed by heaping amounts of self-entitled bullshit. Fuck you.