Un jour, il m'a dit: “ Tu vas voir, le regard des gens sur un mec handicapé se fait en plusieurs temps. Quand les gens te rencontrent la première fois, tu n'es rien d'autre qu'un handicapé. Tu n'as pas d'histoire, pas de particularités, ton handicap est ta seule identité. Ensuite, s'ils prennent un peu le temps, ils vont découvrir une facette de ton caractère. Ils verront alors si tu as de l'humour, si tu es dépressif… Enfin, ils verront presque avec surprise que tu peux avoir une vraie personnalité qui s'ajoute à ton statut d'handicapé: un handicapé caillera, un handicapé beauf, un handicapé bourgeois…”.
My sister and I translated this letter from Journal #3 today!
The code is Vigenere Cipher and the keyword is “PINES.”
The note reads as follows:
“Hey, Dipper and Mabel! Blendin here. I’m currently living in the year 1883 and I hid this letter in hopes that it would one day reach you. (I got the idea from the movie “Return Backwards to the Past Again 3,” which is required viewing for Time Academy freshmen.) You’ve probably got a lot of questions, and after the events of Weirdmageddon, man I, don’t blame you!
“So here’s what happened: after Globnar, I was getting a LOT of flak for losing a gladiator fight to two children. Even though I got my job back (thanks for that, by the way!), my fellow officers kept calling me hurtful nicknames. Time Baby himself called me No-Friendin Blandin! Do you know what it’s like to live like that?
“Just as I was thinking I would give anything for Time Baby’s respect, this weird triangle guy showed up in my dreams and said that he would make sure time baby never bothered me again. All I had to do was shake his hand! I’ve never been great at making decisions under pressure, and, well, you know the rest! When I awoke, that stupid triangle had used my body to travel through time and destroy the entire universe–and Time Baby, too!
“Luckily, Time Baby isn’t dead… exactly. It will take one thousand years for his molecules to reconstitute, and when they do, boy is he gonna be cranky! The time agents also survived–they only send their holo-projections out on dangerous missions. But Lolph and Dundgren were FURIOUS about what I did!
“Of course, this means that there is a dimension-wide manhunt of agents trying to find me and bring me to justice. But it was all a mistake!
“The last thing I want is to go back to jail, so I’ve been hiding out in the past. It was fun for a while–seeing the sights, chatting with historical figures, visiting the ‘50s to try to learn the twist. (I accidentally twisted my ankle and couldn’t walk for a week.)
“I wanted to check out the old West, too, but when I traveled here, I accidentally appeared right in front of a train and my time tape was shattered into fifty pieces. (Also, I think the train might have gone off the rails. Hopefully that isn’t in the history books!)
“Anyway, I just wanted to say not to worry about me! I’ve managed to blend in to the populace, and I got a job as a pocket watch repairman. I’ve also caught one of those cool gold rush-era diseases that’re so popular in these times, and I am loving the nostalgia! Thanks for all your help, and if any time agents come looking for me, tell them you don’t know nothing!
I still haven’t seen all the seasons of X-Files, but I am still pleased it got another season, because my friend’s husband (whom we shall call the Garbage Can Man) that I greatly dislike was once insistent that there would only one season of the revival. GCM always wants to be right, so there’s just so much spiteful glee in my soul right now.