gazing at my avatar

A polite request...

Well, since it now seems sadly inevitable that the last ever Cabin Pressure recording will be largely filled by people who only applied because it means they “get to be in the same room as Benedict Cumberbatch!!!” (all those Tumblr posts over the last couple of days certainly suggest as much), and don’t really actually care about the show, I have a polite, friendly request for them:

Please don’t scream when Mr C arrives at the studio, on stage, smiles, takes off his coat, his character (he’s called Martin) has a line, or anyone mentions his name. We will be able to hear it on the broadcast, it will ruin the pace of the episode, and people listening will forever believe that the popularity of the show is entirely due to one man. Which leads me on to friendly request number 2:

Please do cheer and applaud EQUALLY all the other actors, especially Roger Allam, Stephanie Cole, and Anthony Head. Please also cheer and applaud the guest cast, the producer David Tyler, and especially, THE WRITER. His name’s John Finnemore. If you’re not sure what he looks like, adjust your gaze leftwards to my avatar. He may or may not be wearing a dressing-gown for the recording. He also plays Arthur, so that should help you identify him. Give him a big cheer. Without him, you wouldn’t be here at all.

Laugh. It’s a comedy. Listen to the script, don’t just wait for Martin’s lines. You are very lucky to be listening to some of the finest comedy writing ever, in any format, and witnessing it being performed by two of the finest comedy actors ever in Roger Allam and Stephanie Cole. Hopefully you’ll remember that afterwards and not just come on Tumblr and post hundreds of variations on “I was just in the same room as Benedict Cumberbatch!!!” Which leads me on to my last request, which you should know is neither polite nor friendly.

Do NOT post spoilers. Don’t even drop hints. Don’t mention any of the guest cast, because that will rather give the game away. I don’t even want to know what the actors are wearing, until the BBC, John Finnemore, or one of the other cast or crew releases photographs. Anyone who does post spoilers will be BLOCKED. Not just unfollowed; BLOCKED, immediately, without any second chances or warnings. For what it’s worth, I think it should be a Tumblr-wide policy. We can’t realistically ignore Tumblr for the next few months until Zurich is broadcast (and nor should we have to), but we CAN ignore you.

And finally, most of all, ENJOY the experience. You are astoundingly, unbelievably lucky, and not even for the reason you think you are.

Thanks for listening, bye!
Love, the airport.