gay what gay

the people in dex’s town were, generally, assholes. see, he couldn’t escape slurs on the ice and, in school, everyone had Opinions about every thing they could and didn’t hesitate to voice them loudly and ignorantly. Dex lived with this for seventeen years, only about a decade of which he really understood what was actually happening, and he got used to being the most open-minded, non-bigoted person in the room. he didn’t hate the gays (liked them quite a bit, actually) didn’t make disparaging comments about the few non-white kids at his school, didn’t treat his girlfriends like shit or make jokes about women in the kitchen and “fucking bitches”.

for all his life, he’d always been the wokest person in the room, and then he got to samwell. samwell, where the minimum “not being a dick” wasn’t enough. where his views were the most conservative, bigoted ones there. where he was no longer open-minded, but ignorant, bigoted, and as horrible as the people he had endured all his life.

at first he was angry. how dare people accuse him of bigotry when he’s lived and breathed bigotry from birth. they know nothing of what he’s endured, know nothing of how he is a goddamned miracle for turning out the way he did with the world he lived in. how fucking dare-

then dex sees. sees the sexism lardo experiences, how it’s woven into everything she does, how the guys from other teams talk down to her about everything, including hockey for fuck’s sake. he sees how bitty still hesitates to bake around him sometimes, sees how bitty’s eyes track guys around the dining hall and dart away like he’s afraid to be hit (and dex gets that, to a point, he does, but to see it on bitty of all people). he sees how the racism nursey experiences isn’t all-out slurs and horrible jokes, but the little things, the relentless prodding, the stuff on-ice that only he and ransom get, the way security guards on-campus always ask to see his ID first when the team gets rowdy. he sees chowder talked down to, lardo objectified and sexualized just for being vietnamese, sees all the things he’d never paid attention to before because samwell makes him see it.

because samwell and the team and everyone around him hold him accountable. the bare minimum he wore with pride is not enough here. it is not enough to not be a bigot and expect to be rewarded, and samwell forces him to see that and change it and educate himself, and he learns and watches and researches and makes himself better because samwell and the team would tolerate nothing less.

“You are my everything

And, darling, I do not mean that lightly

For whenever I watch a movie, I always wish you were with me

And whenever I admire a sunset, you are my first thought

When I see flowers on my way home, all I want is to give one to you

And when I see a plane in the sky, I imagine what it would be like

To finally reach you and to hold you in my arms

My mind finds an excuse to go back to you

No matter how occupied I’m supposed to be

So yes, you really are my everything

For there is nothing in the entire universe

That would even attempt to steal my attention

From the only thing in which I find comfort

And that, my love, will eternally remain being you

I crave your company at all times

And you are the one thing I truly and deeply desire

So what better way is there to describe your meaning to me, my dear

Than to name all the things which remind me of you?

And what better word is there to use for said description

Than one which includes the endless possibilities I have found in your existence?

And after all the sleepless nights that I have spent

Desperately searching for your unmistakable blue eyes

Among some of my most treasured memories

I realized that you have leaked into all of them

The thought of you has somehow found its way

Into everything I have ever known and loved

And made it better”

— The Meaning of Everything

do any gay/lgbt girls wanna start a tumblr imessage groupchat pls let me know omg