gay parents

Tonight I went to Sarah Brightman’s concert and I screamed “I love you” and my mum was like “you like women!? Yikes” and I was like “yeah I do” and I think she didn’t get it because she didn’t say a thing to me but damn I said it without thinking and I have never been secured or ready to tell her, I’m glad she didn’t pay attention to me tho

As I’ve mentioned before, I was raised in a strict Christian household. It was full of love, but it was also a house that didn’t like Ellen DeGeneres or Rosie O'Donnell simply because they were gay. A house that would turn off the tv when the lesbian episodes of Friends were on (while I ran to the tv in my room and pressed “mute” to see it). One that would roll their eyes at the idea of gay marriage. Parents that meant well and just went by what they were taught, wanting us to grow up with something to believe. I remember sobbing in high school, thinking they would absolutely kill me. Things slowly started changing when I was 16+.

My Mom was the one who asked if I was gay. She was my biggest supporter, my secret keeper, and the one I told everything to. My Dad? He went from not wanting me to come out, to protect me, to telling everyone he knows if they ask if I’m “dating any new guys” - because that’s simply who I am. In his words “why hide it? Who cares?”. My Mom came to me about Carol on her own, wanting to watch it to see the love story. When gay marriage was legalized, I called my Mom sobbing. She was sobbing with me, after yelling “YES! THANK GOD” in front of all of her friends.

After being raised to hate who I was, not even allowing it to be an option - to now, my Mother texting me just now saying “Do you have any more Human Rights Campaign stickers like you have on your car? I want one on mine”

Change is a beautiful thing. Believe in it and believe in people.

THAT’S parenting.

3

well, I,

7

Nearly every year, for the past thirty years, Frances Goldin has gone to New York City Pride holding a sign that reads, “I adore my lesbian daughters. Keep them safe.” (x)


“Since the beginning of the parade, I’ve been going and waving my sign,” Goldin said. “It sort of hit a nerve with people, particularly those whose parents rejected them. The response to the sign is always so great — it urges me to keep going.”

“Everybody would come running up to her and cry, kiss her, and say, ‘Would you call my mother?’ or ‘Would you be my mother?’” her daughter, Sally, explained. 


“She’d take down names and addresses and write letters to these kids’ mothers!” 

When asked about all the young LGBT parade-goers who have begged her to speak to their own mothers, Goldin replied, “I think I changed a few people’s minds and I’m glad about that. Everyone should support their gay and lesbian children, they’re missing a lot in life if they don’t.”

A long-term study of children raised by lesbians found that these children were less likely to suffer from physical and sexual abuse than were their peers who were raised by heterosexuals. This is thought to be due to the absence of adult heterosexual men in the households (Gartrell, Bos, & Goldberg, 2010). Girls raised by lesbians tend to have higher self-esteem, show more maturity and tolerance than their peers, and are older when they have their first heterosexual contact (Gartrell et al., 2005, 2010). Children raised by same-sex parents seem to be less constrained by traditional gender roles; boys are less aggressive, and girls are more inclined to consider nontraditional careers, such as doctor, lawyer, or engineer (Gartrell et al., 2005; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001). Over the course of more than 20 years, scientists studied the psychological adjustment of 78 teenagers who were raised by lesbian mothers. Compared to age-matched counterparts raised by heterosexual parents, these adolescents were rated higher in social, academic, and total competence, and lower in social problems, rule-breaking, aggression, and externalizing problem behavior (Gartrell & Bos, 2010). There are fewer studies of children raised by two men, but gay fathers are more likely than straight fathers to put their children before their career, to make big changes in their lives to accommodate a child, and to strengthen bonds with their extended families after becoming fathers (Bergman, Rubio, Green, & Padrone, 2010).
—  Martha Rosenthal, Human Sexuality: From Cells to Society, p.247.