gay diaspora

10

The many of faces of me.

“Stop acting like a girl!” (Fuck You)

“You can’t be gay and Black.” (Tell that to my deceased Butch lesbian aunt)

“You grew up with a father in you’re home?” (As a matter of fact I did. He greatly influenced me to be STRONG)

“Yes, this is a gay establishment but I need three forms of ID please.” (We will take our money elsewhere)

“Black people are always angry.” (Because y'all keep pissing us off)

“I would date you but you’re too open about your sexuality and HIV status.” (This is NYC, do you honestly think I’m the first guy you’ve met who is poz? But, hey, your loss)

“How can you only be friends with a girl and not fuck her?” (Because I’m gay, and I don’t believe in having sex with my friends even if I were straight)

“I ain’t gay, but I like gay dudes like you, to mess around with.” ( Thanks for your honesty, but I’m looking for a relationship)

“I find Black men so attractive.” ( Me too, excuse me as I find one to talk to at this party)

“He infected you with the HIV virus on purpose, told you that he was HIV negative when he knew for 7 years that he wasn’t ,and knowing you were naive and younger than him. When you were diagnosed you were on your death bed. Yet, you’re not angry. Why?” (Because being angry kills me , not him. I’m better and not bitter. As well as I let “love” cloud my better judgement)

“Being in love with a man and you’re a man is not African” ( Tell that to the Nigerian, Ugandan, Ghanaian, Ethiopian, Somalian and Kenyan men I know: born and raised in Africa-all of whom I DATED only, not have sex with, because I know how you homophobes think.)

“I have to return to Africa. My mother has found me a wife. I want to take you with me because I love you.” ( I don’t share my man)

“You’re gay because you were molested as a child” ( Ummmm no, I wasn’t molested, no adult or child ever touched me inappropriately, but I’ve counseled countless heterosexual men who were.)

“He plays for the NFL but you want to break up with him?” ( He did not tell me he had a fiancé. I saw it on the news; boy, bye)

“ There’s a gay demon in you!” ( No it’s not, I had too much Taco Bell)

I was born in 1967. I have lived, and still am!

Because HIV Positive Black, gay men 50 years old, like me, fuckin’ matters!

Older, wiser, and undetectable ! I was diagnosed with AIDS over 20 years ago!

3

It’s been so hot in NYC that I developed a heat rash on my face, neck and back. It looked so bad that I had to leave work.

I’ve never had heat rash before, but my doc confirmed it. I was prescribed meds.

Anyways, my fiancé wasn’t about to let my fears about my skin and a rash stop him from being all over me. “You can’t give me your rash, so scoot over!” With air conditioner on blast we fell asleep and I woke up earlier than him but his heavy ass was hard to push off ❤️😂😉

4

Celebrating life!

So much hatred in the world and as a Black, gay, HIV positive man I’ve endured a lot of discrimination and hatred.

However I chose to be better-not bitter!

I will not apologize for who and what I am.

As I approach turning 50 in 2017, I’ve learned a lot about life and myself: I’m a survivor!

Social media can be helpful, but also shady and a place for bullying.

Today, thru social media i literally counseled and offered medical information to two gay Africans, one residing in Nigeria and the other, also Nigerian, residing in South America- both gay, in their 20s, and newly HIV positive.

They were scared and no one other than their doctor knew they’re HIV poz. Due to my frankness about living with an AIDS diagnosis on tumblr and my other sites, they felt comfortable talking to me.

I say this not as a means of promoting myself, but as a reminder that social media can help a person who feels alone and isolated, to have hope.

I also was texted today by a gay Jamaican whom i asisted with seeking asylum last year, and today, he informed me that he was granted asylum.

As a 50 years old openly gay and HIV positive man of African descent, i , like others before me, understand that if needed by others , i will offer assistance .

The two Nigerians are now better informed about the HIV virus, medications and holistic care , and appropriate questions to ask their doctors. One even told me he was ready to die had he not reached out to me!

It takes a village and I’m a part of it!!!