Imagine being Laurent. The second son, bookish and intelligent, always admiring the brother he thought destined for the throne. Imagine finding out that you had lost the one person in the world you thought mattered. “He was everything I had.” And after Auguste’s death, he was alone.
Imagine innocence stripped during the first years of mourning a loss. Imagine being bedded by your uncle. Molested. Reduced to satisfy a sick fetish. Imagine realizing what a harsh world you had to live through, growing up from being sweet at fifteen to spitting venom at twenty. Cold frigid bitch. Because there was no other way.
Imagine being played, time and time again, until it ran out and at ten months the clock began to tick. Imagine facing the man that killed your beloved brother, your sole protector in the world. Imagine wanting to kill after years of training to return the favor of the prince-killer, to run the blade across olive skin, and then being given the chance. The prince-killer was bound in heavy chains.
Damen, they said. Damianos, he knew.
Imagine having never known love your entire life and finding it only in the last person you wanted. Imagine being blinded by hatred, spots in your vision that slowly cleared when Damen, even as a slave, was a prince born to rule. Imagine falling in love and having it happen all in the span of months, from the day of being stripped of lands to learning the nature of the prince-killer. To the day you would kneel in front of your uncle to beg for the life of the man who would beg for yours, too.
Imagine being Laurent. With all his imperfections and moments of tension even in love making where he gave himself and shuddered with the realization of it. I know who you are, Damianos. Imagine thinking the only way was to sacrifice yourself, undoubtedly alone when finally you had someone else. Imagine facing the odds and for once in your life, winning, and there was someone else to share the victory with.
Imagine your future, an eternal journey of learning and loving and being with the man you never thought you’d love but announced that he had never known a truer man, and before speaking, had chosen between the two choices that mattered. A kingdom, or this.
Imagine having never thought, and now knowing it, as you will until the last of your days, with the man you love as you rule a kingdom that once was.
i disagree w people saying dean gave cas the mixtape after the “i love you” bc i dont want it to be a ~moment~ u know? Like I want it to have been something casual, something Dean just, did for Cas, on some regular day. Just casually conveying his love through the mixtape. Not, you know, after some special “I almost lost you” sort of guilt. I don’t want this to have been induced, is what I’m saying.
I visited a hospital in London when I was doing a play there in 2003, and all these sick kids had friends DVDS next to their beds. It made me think: this is actually important, this silly stuff we’re doing, it matters.