Day One Hundred and Twenty
-A woman in her forties thanked me for carding her, saying that I gave her a reason to smile and made her entire week. My reasoning for this was that our computers have changed and we now must have a physical ID to progress with the purchase, but I am happy to take credit for this accidental good deed.
-A British man came through my lane and, upon leaving, said, “Buh-bye.” I have now determined this to be the greatest accent to say this phrase in, and the greatest phrase to say in general.
-My register crashed in the midst of paying for a $250+ transaction consisting of dozens of small-ticket items. I went to the adjacent register to ring it up again, yet this register shut down on me as well. This misadventure came in the middle of hours of guests berating and shouting at me for a number of things well beyond my control. If either God or Karma exists, I am looking forward to a good payout in return for surviving this day.
-As a reward for stopping a newborn from committing shoplifting, I was granted a free Starbucks drink. Today being payday be damned, this is the most gratifying part of my week and I am all for this brand of instant gratification for shutting down infant heists.
-A woman purchased a picture frame with a stock photo of a beagle pup leaning out of a car window with just the tiniest bit of tongue hanging out. This is undoubtedly the worst possible selection for use in any picture frame being sold. The purpose of the stock photo is for it to be replaced, but now not a soul in their right mind ever will do so.
-An abandoned origami dollar bill has been left in my till, identical to one a mysterious, benevolent guest left me weeks ago. I have just missed my friend. I am devastated.
-A mother asked her child if they wanted a sticker. After a long and thoughtful pause, they ultimately landed on a no. I am unsure of what factors this toddler was weighing, but I urge them to reconsider.
-A man in his late thirties slid into my lane at turbo speed, skittering to a halt on the medical scooter he and his injured leg were mounted on. Such a move would have been made thricely glamorous were there the sound of screeching brakes to accompany it; luckily, this man came with his own effects, supplying exactly this for me. He purchased only a bicycle bell for his new primary method of transportation and took it without a bag, eager to begin a life wherein everyone is entirely aware of his presence anytime he is in the vicinity. His leg may be broken, but his spirit never will be.