Things I loved about Beauty and the Beast
  • Diversity slapped me in face and I welcomed it with open arms
  • The enchantress didn’t curse an 11 year old who obviously knew stranger danger
  • He was an actual douche bag who deserved to be cursed
  • Belle’s blue dress
  • “You’re library makes our small corner of the world seem big”
  • “But she’s so well read and your so… athletically inclined.”
  •  I want that music box. TAKE MY MONEY DISNEY
  • Belle Doing laundry
  • Belle teaching the little girl to read
  • I love that it’s eternally winter there that just seems really cool to me

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Beauty and The Beast, a summary:

Belle realizes that the person everyone thinks is a monster is actually a decent guy.

LeFou realizes that the person everyone thinks is a decent guy is actually a monster.

15 reasons why Gaston is kinda awesome...

1. He doesn’t make fun of Belle for reading, like the other villagers do.

2. He’s polite. “Pardon.” “Excuse me.” “Please let me through!”

3. He’s strong and can handle himself in a fight.

4. He has amazing hair! (So grabbable)

5. He’s not afraid to admit when he doesn’t know something.

6. His self-confidence is through the roof!

7. He’ll bring you flowers!

8. He knows how to have a good time!

9. He has great aim; with a knife, with a quiver and with a gun!

10. He’s not afraid of public speaking.

11. He’s gorgeous! (Can’t ignore the obvious)

12. He’s a nice dresser and has very well-tailored pants (very important IMHO).

13. He just wants a quiet family life where he can stay home with his wife and adorable children! Awwwww

14. He can SING!

15. He’s played by Luke Evans! ;)

Okay??? But??? Beauty and the Beast???

I just got done watching Beauty and the Beast, the new remake, with @icarus-will-rise and… wow… I think there were times I cut off the circulation in his hand I loved it so much

Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?
As usual, spoilers. This will be tagged as such tho.

• THE. CHOREOGRAPHY. AT. THE. BEGINNING. As a dancer, this was what made me instantly love the movie, like IT’S HISTORICALLY ACCURATE AND BEAUTIFUL AND??? WHY??? I LOVE IT SO MUCH
• C O S T U M I N G. I especially loved at the end that some of the servants still had face paint on their faces, like “oh yeah, that’s still there, it’s not like they’ve magically had their human faces cleaned while they’re not human or anything”
• speaking of the end, “Turn back into a clock. TURN BACK INTO A CLOCK.”
• and when the piano turned back he had no teeth? I approve
• also speaking of the end, HOT DAMN, Dan Stevens’ growl when Emma Watson asks him to grow a beard… like… damn… even @icarus-will-rise agrees that was hawt
• THE TRANSITIONS FROM THE HUMANIZED OBJECTS INTO NORMAL OBJECTS MADE ME CRY. Cogsworth not being able to talk, Mrs. Potts’ face disappearing, Chip’s dish shattering (I GOT SO SCARED), Lumiere and Plumette, the dog with his legs up, just, AH
• Okay, unpopular opinion here, I didn’t love the songs all THAT much. The originals are better. Emma and Dan definitely did a great job recreating the songs and all, but I think we can all agree the original “Beauty and the Beast” by Angela Lansbury smashes the new one to pieces, right?
• However, on that note, the new songs were pretty good and fit right into the soundtrack in everything from background music to lyrics. Evermore was good, but the one in the movie was def better than the credits one, I mean, come ON, guys.
• Okay, back to the movie–
• LeFou.
• LEFOU.
• L E F O U.
• Props to the casting director for ALL of his/her choices (Emma Watson could not have made a better Belle if she spent DECADES preparing for this role), but OH MY GOD JOSH GAD AS LEFOU.
• I don’t know WHO saw Olaf in Frozen and went, “This snowman would make a great gay sidekick for Gaston”, but whoever did, I love them.
• Speaking of LeFou, he went through some GREAT character development. From being completely obsessed with Gaston at the beginning (telling the Bimbettes they didn’t have a chance, talking to an imaginary Gaston in the mirror, calming Gaston down with thoughts of the war <which was HILARIOUS btw>, winking during “Gaston”) to actually having a backbone after they tie Maurice up in the woods (you can see him begin to shift his alignment, and lose his love for Gaston, there) to finally being like “yeah, screw this, Gaston wouldn’t save me from a falling talking piano with key teeth missiles, I'mma help the talking teapot spraying my fellow villagers instead”. I LOVED LeFou.
• You know who else loved LeFou? THE DRAG QUEEN. I know he’s either Tom, Dick, or Stanley, and @icarus-will-rise and I think it would be pretty ironic if he was Dick. I’ll have to check when it comes out on DVD since I wasn’t really paying attention, and by GOD I loved that little hint that they ended up together during the dance at the end.
• Anyway, back to the plot
• Those wolves were TERRIFYING
• Also, I don’t know about you guys, but instantly when I saw the beggar lady I was like “she’s gonna be important”. It was when she rescued Maurice I knew she was the enchantress in disguise, don’t ask me how, I just knew. They wouldn’t put a character in there randomly unless she was essential to the storyline, so I guess that’s why I guessed that.
• …did I mention LeFou was by far my favorite?
• But Emma Watson came in as a close second. By GOD, she was a great Belle. Her reaction to that library was tbh exactly how I would’ve reacted.
• Like I said, casting was spot-on amazing.
• You could FEEL the angst radiating off of Beast.
• Maurice was great, not as kooky as the original but I like him better as a sad artist.
• ^By the way, Belle’s parents’ backstory had me in tears. The plague representation was so accurate and answered SO many questions of mine.
• Also, Gaston was really good
• He actually tried to woo Belle a little instead of being like “I’m so great, you should totally marry me just for my looks and charm and hunting skills and my luxurious hair”
• He gave her flowers, sorta kinda pretended to be interested in her books, and seemed genuinely interested in saving her when the townsfolk were being mean so at the beginning I was sorta like “gee, why’s Belle being so rude and shit”, which was the only reason I didn’t like the change in Gaston’s behavior
• Then he started being a dick to her dad and I was like “whoops never mind”
• Umm,,, the fight against the villagers was really great?? Mrs. Potts seeing her husband (who was the citizen with the most sense, let’s be honest here) and falling from the chandelier, the boiling tea, THE DRAG QUEENS, Chip being a badass smol, Lumiere’s fireworks display, Plumette dusting people’s faces and the piano being heroic by trying to cover the door? It was A+
• Also “GRANDMOTHER?!?!?1?????!!??!!”
• Le Fou… the gay is strong with this one…
• Basically, I loved Beauty and the Beast’s live action remake, 10/10 would watch again.

• My only problem is her dress, really. My only GIANT problem, that is.
• They didn’t include the dog in “Beauty and the Beast” (the song), but fine, I’ll forgive that
• My major problem is that dress
• Okay, fine, it’s got the appliqués, but WHERE IS THE NECKLINE
• WHERE ARE THE CORRECT RUFFLES NOT THIS RUFFLE SHIT YOU GIVE US DISNEY
• We demand the truth
• (Side note: what is it with Emma Watson’s dresses being inaccurate in movies because this is now the second one???)

Everything Politically Correct About Beauty and the Beast

Hollywood has been dry of creativity in recent years, so they figure instead of just doing remakes of classic films, they can “modernize” them. From black Annie to the all-female Ghostbusters, it was only a matter of time until Disney got in on the PC action. 

Here is everything that is politically correct about the new live-action Beauty and the Beast.

(Warning: Politically-Correct Spoilers)

1. The “poor provincial town” is very diverse. 

Despite the film taking place in 1700s France, the cross-section of the people there could have been borrowed from contemporary New York City. And yes, slavery was a thing in 1700s France. Sure, this is a fairytale, but this film namedrops real-life things like Shakespeare, so there is an element of realism in this universe. While it’s nice to be inclusive, seeing people of color singing and dancing in a time period when they were slaves eliminates believably. Either fully commit to it like Hamilton or don’t. And the town earns extra PC points for having a black guy run the bookshop. 

2. Belle is a feminist. 

What made Belle so brilliant in the original animated film was that she was intelligent, independent, and kind. Even when she turned down Gaston, she was still charming. In the new film, Belle (played by Emma Watson) was actually pretty mean to Gaston! She definitely had a “I’m a woman, hear me roar” attitude that sorta tainted Belle’s gentle nature. And to drive the feminism message even further, they added a scene of her teaching a little girl how to read and showing a couple of townspeople scowling at her for it. 

3. LeFou is gay. 

The new Beauty and the Beast film got lots of free press when it was announced that they made LeFou, Gaston’s sidekick, gay (a first for any Disney film). Upon seeing the film, the controversy was waaaaaay overblown. In a nutshell, he’s flamboyant, drops a couple of verbal hints, and shares a brief romantic embrace with Gaston (which was solely meant for comedic effect). Honestly, unless you’re a bible thumper, this isn’t a big deal. That said, while the filmmakers can be seen as brave for making LeFou gay, they’re definitely cowardly for making him a good guy in the end. According to Political Correctness 101, you can’t make a gay guy a villain. Throughout the film, LeFou expresses sympathy for others and after being left for dead by Gaston in the third act, he decides to help the inanimate objects fight the mob that crashed the castle. So in short, making LeFou gay? Whatever. Making him good? Weak. 

4. Interracial relationships are totally common. 

Remember how controversial it was when a Cheerios commercial featured an interracial family? Well Disney wanted to top it by having not one but two interracial relationships in the Beauty and the Beast remake. One relationship was between Lumière (Ewan McGregor) and Plumette (Gugu Mbatha-Raw), aka the feather duster, and the other was Madame Garderobe (Audra McDonald), aka the wardrobe, and a brand new character Maestro Cadenza (Stanley Tucci), aka a grand piano. Granted, at least 90% of their screen time is in CGI-mode, but that 10% of the time that they aren’t, they flaunt it. 

5. Women can be angry villagers too!

In the original film, Gaston led a mob full of angry men from the village to “kill the beast” and you see a woman and her child waving to the men from the window as they go marching into battle. Obviously, it’s sexist to force women to stay at home to protect the children. So in the new film, women get to fight too! 

6. Gaston shows us that guns are EVIL. 

In the climax of the animated film, Gaston’s weapons of choice were a bow and arrow and a knife on The Beast. So naturally in the 2017 remake, he uses a scary gun instead. The subliminal messaging ain’t so subliminal Disney!

In Conclusion

Look, the new Beauty and the Beast is still entertaining and fun for the whole family.  Is there a chance that I’m simply overanalyzing this movie? Perhaps. But there’s something that I want to make very clear. It’s okay to have a diverse village. It’s okay to have interracial relationships. It’s okay to make someone gay. Just because I point these things out, it doesn’t mean they’re bad. However, what’s bad is Hollywood’s lack of creativity. They think by changing the race or sexual orientation of famous characters of the past is “fresh and original.” If being fresh and original is their ultimate goal, maybe they shouldn’t remake a tale as old as time.