gaslight

Vintage Horror for the Gothic Heroine

As the autumn progresses from warm and golden to cold and dreary, many heroines may wish to pour a cup of tea, curl up in bed with blankets, and watch an old classic. These are a number of excellent movies, filled with horrors both supernatural and mundane.

Nosferatu (1922)

An old favourite of Miss A’s, Nosferatu was the first film adaption of Dracula to survive, though many copies were destroyed after Florence Stoker sued the production company for copyright violations. But, much like the vampire, it rose again from obscurity, and the vampire Count Orlok had since become a pop culture phenomenon.

Perfect for: A stormy night, when the wind howls through the dark, and rain sounds like fingers tapping at the windows.

The Mummy (1932)

A monster, lost in time and searching for his love. A heroine, haunted by memories of a long distant past. Though the previous Universal movie, Dracula, was the more famous, the Mummy is a respectable Gothic in itself. Not to mention it appeals to any heroine who had an Egyptian phase - which is just about all of us.

Perfect for: An unusually warm autumn evening, where you find yourself nostalgic for places you never been, and people you’ve never known.

Rebecca (1940)

In a Cornish mansion by the sea, the newly-married Mrs. de Winter finds herself mystified by her new distant husband, while being tormented by his housekeeper, obsessed with his first wife, the eponymous Rebecca. Not only a classic in literature, the movie stars Laurence Olivier and Joan Fontaine at their best in a whirlwind romance with a dark outcome.

Perfect for: When you’re in a cottage by the grey and rough seas, and the wind rattles at the door and windows.

Jane Eyre (1943)

The Brontë novel had already been adapted to film numerous times before Joan Fontaine took up the lead role. A true Gothic, there is no supernatural monsters or hauntings - the horror of Jane Eyre’s life comes from humanity’s capability for cruelty, but is challenged by the hope she has for her life, and her questionable romance with the mercurial Mr. Rochester.

Perfect for: Those cold autumn days when it feels as though you could step out the door and find yourself on the misty moors.

Gaslight (1944)

Years after her aunt’s mysterious death, an up-and-coming opera star is whisked away from her friends and family by her new husband and taken back to her aunt’s home in London, where she is tormented by her spouse until she believes she is insane. This horrifying movie is famous for coining the term ‘gaslighting’.

Perfect for: A night when you’re in the mood for a psychological horror… and you’re single.

The Innocents (1961)

When a governess takes up two charges from their absent uncle, she finds herself trying to uncover a mystery surrounding ghostly sightings, the unnerving behaviour of the children, and the strange legacy of the previous governess and tutor.

Perfect for: A warm autumn afternoon, when you hear children outside playing in the leaves. Then suddenly, you hear nothing at all.

If you’d like a link to watch online, send me an ask. What is your favourite classic horror?

Your doting

Miss A

Healing Anxiety From Toxic Relationships

by Dr. Doreen Virtue

Don’t Focus On Whether Or Not Someone Likes You
Instead of being concerned about whether someone likes you and focusing on how your heart pounds and if you feel butterflies when you’re around them, wonder instead whether you get excited because your chemistry is reacting to meeting another dysfunctional person. Ask yourself instead, does this person have most, if not all, of the qualities you want in a relationship?

Be Your Own Best Friend
One reason why people stay in unhealthy relationships is the fear of being alone. One reason for this is because you haven’t developed a best-friend relationship with yourself. Try to reach a place where you actually enjoy your own company. And if that doesn’t help, know that being alone is healthier and preferable to being in an unhealthy relationship filled with hostile drama.

Stop Expecting Someone Else To Fix Your Problems
You are responsible for whatever needs fixing in your life, your financial debts, your career, taking care of your body and so forth, not your partner, your best friend or your parents. You will feel much better about yourself and your new confidence will be very attractive.

Know Your Boundaries And Stick To Them
We are constantly sending out hints to other people about how we want to be treated. These are called “boundaries,” meaning your deal breakers for what you will and won’t accept. How much importance you attach to honesty, respect, and reliability are just as important as personal space, time alone, or how much physical affection or romance you require. When you uphold your boundaries, you don’t allow others to manipulate, guilt, or control you, and your inner self will thank you

Trust Your Inner Warning Signals
Your body is innately sensitive to other people’s energies and intentions. Check your own inner warning signals, which will alert you that you’re with a toxic or drama-addicted person. Some warning signals you may be getting are:

-    You feel used, because it’s a one-sided relationship, with you doing all the giving
-    You feel guilty, like you owe the person something
-    You feel angry at him or her and at yourself
-    After the person leaves, you feel drained and tired
-    You have a desire to avoid the person.

Trust your intuition here. These feelings won’t be present in a healthy relationship.

Write A Letter To The Person You’re Upset With                                        Even healthy relationships can hit a rocky patch from time to time. At times like these, it often helps to write a letter to the person you’re upset with. Pour out your feelings, and hold nothing back. Then, in a ceremonious way, burn the letter. You can also send a more restrained version of the letter to the person, after waiting a day or two for a cooling-off period. This way, your letter will reflect your ongoing feelings instead of reactive emotions. It can be the starting point for a mutually beneficial conversation that will get you back on track. 

Just Say No To Guilt Based Requests
If you feel you are being manipulated and have no choice to comply, stand firm. They might cry, threaten to hurt themselves, say that no one loves them, or remind you of the times that they helped you. But by telling guilt-trippers no without guilt or excuses, they will either find another victim to harass or will realize that these methods aren’t healthy or effective.

Don’t Walk On Eggshells Around Angry People
If someone displays their anger in a physical way, LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. However, if it is someone who just gets mad at the slightest provocation but rarely takes responsibility themselves, then release the fantasy that you will find the winning combination that will finally make them happy and peaceful. They most likely will need professional therapy. Tip-toeing around until they calm down doesn’t help anyone.

Stand Your Ground
Accusatory people are always looking for a fight, tell them firmly that they are mistaken in their accusations but do not engage in an argument or wander off-topic. Do not engage in blaming wars or you will get into an unending battle.

Stop Trying To Rescue Victim-Martyr Types
Since whatever advice you suggest will most likely be met with “I’ve already tried that, it doesn’t work.” It is best not to invest a lot of time into trying to provide a solution to their problem. Once victim-martyrs sense that you are out of ideas to help, they will move on to bending someone else’s ear about their current problem. 

Remove Yourself From A Relationship When You Notice A Red Flag
Take your time to get to know someone before you fully commit to a relationship. At the first red-flag, such as not honoring a commitment, or showing a lack of respect; extricate yourself from the relationship immediately before getting any more involved.

As a compassionate, openhearted soul, you want to give. It’s in your nature to care for others and ensure their health and happiness. Occasionally others may take advantage of your kindness which is why it is so important to enforce your boundaries in all of your relationships.

It may feel uncomfortable for you to put these rules into effect, it might feel like you are placing conditions on how you will help people, but if you refuse to do so, you’ll deplete your own energy reserves very quickly. It all boils down to respect. If the people in your life truly care about you, they’ll respect your decisions.