Guys I’m dying over here omg

So for anyone who was not aware, Oregon and New Jersey are the only two states in the entire USA where it is illegal to pump your own gas, or at least, they were. Now it’s just New Jersey because Oregon finally passed a law allowing for self-service.

And I’m LOSING MY SHIT over here because I found this facebook post where Oregon residents are having complete BREAKDOWNS over this new law. 

Some Highlights of what the comment section is like:

  • “I refuse!! One time I traveled to California to visit my brother and I had to pump my own gas and I almost died!! This should only be a job for qualified individuals!! Never again!!” 
  • “Hell no!! I don’t want to pump my own gas on the way to work and have to smell like gas if it gets all over my hands and clothes!!!” 
  • “Bad idea, many people do not know how to pump gas or understand the hazards of not doing it correctly!”
  • *People being genuinely concerned about leaving their children in the car when they step outside to pump their own gas as if those 3 minutes could mean life or death*
  • *General complaints about DON’T TAKE JOBS FROM GOOD OREGON CITIZENS!!!*

And then there’s the people who are NOT from Oregon like:

  • “One time my dad visited Oregon and he pumped his own gas and the entire street immediately lit on fire and he caused a massive economic recession and then the car blew up with me inside”
  • “Fear not, Oregon! I have decided to move to Oregon and open a school to teach people to pump their own gas! I will also branch out with classes on tying your own shoes! Dialing your own phone! Mowing your own lawn! Operating a self-checkout machine!”
  • “Where I live, there are only self-service stations. I have had to pump my own gas my entire life. Now, my hands are melted down to my wrists. I am typing this with my tongue.”
  • “I’ll never forget the first time I had to pump my own gas. I had to fight off a bear with my own hands and then dodge every bullet from the snipers trying to steal my credit card. When I pulled the handle from the pump it set off a series of booby traps.”