Since Garrus was CSEC, and the Ryders grew up on the Citadel… do you ever think they met?
Like the Ryder twins get into trouble all the time for vandalism or staying out past curfew or other small things…
and one night, someone knocks on the door, and when Alec opens it it’s just grumpy looking Garrus with the twins for the billionth time, and he’s just so fed up.

ME1 and ME2 Garrus: Has immeasurable respect for you, lets you be his moral compass. Agrees to become closer to you because he respects you more than anyone in the entire galaxy and you have brought out the best in him

ME3 Garrus: Makes fun of your dancing. Literally will not shut up about the fact that he’s your boyfriend. His ego hangs on one shot of a sniper rifle.

  • Garrus: Inappropriate dick jokes running faster than Udina and the truth. Gives you over-modded sniper rifles as tokens of affection. Ongoing contest with Tiny Girlfriend™ to see who can cause the most carnage.
  • Jaal: Sweetness of Breath, Darling One, Temptress of My Heart. Your skin is so sOFT, introducing prime space waifu to the mOTHER, fuck-you-by-a-waterfall, thirsting like a dying man in a desert, literal alien tomcat in search of intergalactic pussy, Ryder cOme b,ACk I am pLANNING oUR WEDDINg lETs FUCK aGAIN EVERY DAY AlL dAY my TruE mOTHER waNTS GRANDKIDS-
  • Garrus: Alright, my turn. What's the first order an Alliance commander gives at the start of combat?
  • Joker: Uh... I give up.
  • Garrus: (chuckles) Correct.
  • Joker: Ohohoh... alright, big guy. What do you call it when a turian gets killed by a horrible spiky monster?
  • Garrus: Friendly fire - come on, that one goes back to Shanxi!
  • Joker: Well, you gotta respect the classics!
  • Garrus: How many humans does it take to activate a dormant mass relay?
  • Joker: (exasperated) 602. 600 to vote on it, one to ask the asari for technical help and one to request a seat on the Council afterwards. How do you know when a turian is out of ammo?
  • Garrus: He switches to the stick up his ass as a backup weapon. Why does the Alliance hire pilots... with brittle bone disease?
  • Joker: Y... you're shittin' me! The turian military has one about me?
  • Garrus: Oh, absolutely. I heard it myself from a private back on Palaven.
  • Joker: Okay, why does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease?
  • Garrus: So that their marines can beat someone in hand-to-hand drills.
  • Joker: ...damn, you need to tell James that one. Hey, what's the hardest part about treating a turian who took a rocket to one side of his face?
  • Garrus: (deadpan) Figuring out which side took the rocket.