garrett problems

Problems
  • Shiro: *sips coffee and exhales* Peace and qui-
  • Keith: OMG! LANCE JUST BROKE MY MCR ALBUM!
  • Lance: You shouldn't have left it by my Beyoncé!
  • Hunk: I'm hungry and there's no food!!!! *cries and whines*
  • Pidge: I need a new laptop, my one is messing up.
  • Shiro: *twitches and breaks mug*

I’m watching Quest for Camelot for the first time in about a decade and while I was always a big fan of Ruber (huge surprise I know), he was never on the Villains I Want To Bang list until

DUDE LOOKS AT THIS GIANTASS FUCKING DRAGON AND REALIZES HIS SHITTYASS SWORD IS USELESS SO HE FUCKING JUST TOSSES IT ASIDE LIKE “WELL FUCK. GUESS WE’RE DOING THIS”

AND THE DRAGON JUST GETS ALL UP IN HIS SHIT LIKE “I GOT FIRE BREATH AND ACID SPIT BITCH WHAT THE FUCK YOU GOT???? FUCK YOU AND YOUR RECEDING HAIRLINE HEY RUBER THE 80S CALLED THEY WANT THEIR SHOULDERPADS BACK”

AND RUBER’S LIKE “YOU KNOW WHAT. NO. YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE AND I’M ENDING THIS”

AND HE ROLLS HIS EYES LIKE A BOOMER AT THOSE DAMN MILLENNIALS AND PUNCHES THE DRAGON IN THE FUCKING ACID SPIT MOUTH

LIKE NOT FUCKING SCARED. AT ALL. OF THIS HUGEASS DRAGON. WHOSE FACE CAN KILL HIM AT LEAST THREE DIFFERENT WAYS.

MY BODY IS READY FOR YOU, RUBER

I need someone to rant to and all I have is Tumblr...

Ok so… I have a dude… who I’m in denial of liking but FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW HE LOOKS EXACTLY

EXACTLY

LIKE MATT HOLT

he has the round glasses an the freckles and the weird ass haircut an the hair colour and freckles ma gawdddd

plus he literally hacks into peoples computers and shuts them down and stuff like that while doing the little smirk

and he has the giggle

send help

hesanassholebutIlikehimhelpmetumblr

What Am I To You? (Voltron Fan Fiction)

A.N: My computer is still broken but I got this idea and had to write it. Inspired by the Adventure Time episode “What Was Missing” and overall Jeremy Shada’s amazing voice. Also this before “The Journey” episode so sorry no Shiro :,(. Please be nice this my first Voltron fic!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a hard day of training, Lance looks around to see if anyone is near him as he enters his room and fiddles through his pockets till he finds what he’s looking for a lock of Allura’s hair, he found a lock of her hair when he checked on Blue, he’s been carrying, though he understands it may seem creepy, as it’s both a reminder of his Lady Blues. He caresses it gently before a voice asks suddenly, “Whatcha doing?”

Lance screams as he turns around to see Hunk and Pidge by his door as he blushes and hides the hair as he shouts embarrassed, “Dude!”

Hunk and Pidge sit next to him as Hunk reassures with a teasing smile, “Don’t worry, man. We won’t tell anyone about the private time you spend with your lock of Allura’s hair.”

“Even if it is a bit creepy,” adds Pidge with a smirk.

Lance blushes as he asks, “How did you guys know?”

“Dude, we live together and I’m your best friend,” answers Hunk in an “it’s-so-obvious” tone. “Plus, no shame. We all keep something special for ourselves.”

Hunk then goes through his pocket as he takes out …

“A rock?” asks Lance confused.

“It’s a special rock. Shay gave it to me before we left as a reminder of her. It’s a piece of the cave I met her in,” explains Hunk as he caresses the rock gently.

They turn to Pidge as she sighs and shows a picture of her and her brother Matt as she says, “Kept it as a reminder for what I’m fighting for.”

Before they could say anything they hear Allura over the communication yelling, “Paladins! Return to the bridge we have a distress signal!”

The three of them quickly hide their personal treasure as they rush to the bridge.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They rush to the bridge as Keith asks, “What’s going on?“

“A signal from the planet Iodáil requests the help of the Paladins,” explains Coran as he plays back the message on the screen.

A humanoid figure with yellow skin with bat like ears with very thin arms and legs as he wears a blue robe he explains in a lisp with fear dripping from his voice, “Paladinsss of Voltron! We are in need of your asssissstance! A Vulcione hasss ssstolen our treasuresss! Calm sssoon!”

The message ended as Pidge asks, “What’s a Vulcione?”

“A bothersome creature that steals various objects from people. However they can be persuaded but they’re quite tricky to deal with,” explains Allura as they get ready to warp to the planet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they arrive the Iodáilian from the message greets them with relief as he says, “Paladinsss! Thank you for coming ssso sssoon!”

“It’s our pleasure. Now could you locate where the Vulcione pattern?” requests Allura as he nods eagerly before he grows pale as he points to a fast blur coming towards them. “No need Princessss, there it isss!”

They all take out their Bayards as they see the Vulcione. It was a human sized fox-like creature with a kangaroo pouch and a raccoon patterned tail and mask. It speeds past them as they all feel something come out of their pockets. Everyone feels around their pockets as Lance shouts after not feeling the lock of hair, “That thing just pick pocketed me!”

Hunk agrees as well not feeling his rock then Pidge feels around her pockets as she finds out her picture was stolen as she announces, “It’s stealing all our stuff!”

The Paladins chase after it as Allura cracks her whip as it lassoes the creature. However the creature easily slips through it as it flips and steals other random things.

“That thing must take gymnastics or something,” comments Hunk breathlessly as they follow the creature into a gorge area.

“Get back here, you thieving Vulcione!” yells Allura as they watch in annoyance and amazement how it scales the rocks on the gorge even with the items in its pouch.

“Come on! We can still catch it!” yells Keith as they keep following the creature.

Eventually they narrow their eyes as they see an odd cave with alien writing at the top above what looks like to be a door? The Vulcione looks behind it as it digs under the door. Keith rushes to grab it but it slips right through his fingers as he swears, “Damn it.”

He hits the door as Pidge asks, “What does that writing say?”

Allura looks closely at it as she translates, “This cave shall yield to no command save for a song from a genuine band?”

“What the quiznak is this?” asks Lance not fully understanding the riddle.

Allura sighs as she explains, “It’s the cave of the Musarmonians. An extinct “musical” species. I thought they destroyed the caves for the sake of sanity.“

“What do you mean?” asks Hunk confused why music would be bad.

“Though musically gifted they were quite greedy. They didn’t wish to share their treasures after they died out centuries ago so they locked them up only to be open by as they say a “genuine band”. However when people tried to attempt it caused many races to lose their sanity as no matter what they did it wasn’t good enough so they destroyed all the caves,“ explains Allura sadly. “Looks like the Vulcione decided to take residents in one that wasn’t.”

“Can’t we just break it down?” asks Keith as he forms his sword ready to cut out open.

“No, only an ion canon can do such a task,” answers Allura sadly.

“Well we can’t exactly do this without instruments. Where are we going to get that?” points out Pidge as the only thing surrounding them are dirt, rocks, and more dirt.

Allura thinks about it before saying, “There might be instruments in the castle.”

She calls Coran as she asks, “Coran? Is there any instruments leftover in the castle?”

Coran doesn’t reply immediately but after a couple minutes he answers, “There are is a bioya, tugnava, and kioapa. Why?”

The Paladins look at each other confused as Allura asks for him to bring them to their location Pidge then requests, “Bring my laptop too!”

Coran comes with the items as Pidge quickly grabs her laptop to do something the other Paladins look at the instruments as Allura explains each of them. The bioya is a viola like instrument and has a similar way of playing. The tugnava are their version of drums, which Hunk immediately calls. The last is the kioapa which is a futuristic bass guitar as Keith strums it a bit saying he’ll take it. Leaving Lance, Pidge, and Allura to figure out who gets the bioya.

Lance asks Pidge, “Why did you need your laptop?”

Pidge answers by typing on a few keys as keyboard sounds come out as she answers proudly, “Getting my instrument ready.”

Lance looks at Allura as he insists, “You take the biyla.”

Allura picks it up as she plays a few keys as she corrects, “It’s bioya. But thank you I haven’t played in, well ten thousand years.”

“What about you Lance? What are you going to play?” asks Hunk as he tries out a couple beats.

Lance points at his throat as he answers, “I like to think I’m quite the beatboxer.”

“Great, that will fit great with the rest of us,” comments Keith sarcastically.

“At least I know I can do it! Can you even play that?” challenges Lance as he crosses his arms.

Keith smirks as he plays a bit and, Lance isn’t going to lie it sounds great, so he just replies with a pout, “Show off.”

Allura suggests, “Perhaps Keith should lead us in our first attempt. He seems the most skilled.”

Keith nods as he begins to strum as he says, “Just don’t mess with the beat. Got that Lance?”

Lance hmphs offended as he begins to do a slow beat. The others soon join in after a couple minutes though door hasn’t shown any indication that it’s working as Lance stops and comments, “I don’t think this is working. Keith, I think you need better taste in music, man.”

Keith plays a wrong note and stops as he fires back, “I’m working on it! You want to lead so badly you lead this!”

“No, wait. If we’re picking who leads I want to go!” adds Hunk as he stops his playing for a moment.

“No way! I can make an entire band with just my laptop!” argues Pidge as she fiddles with her keys to play other instruments to prove her point.

“Now, we can all try. Perhaps we’re missing a certain element perhaps singing would make our chances better?” suggests Allura as everyone turns to her confused. “Most Musarmonians were singers. Maybe someone needs to sing to appeal to the Musarmonians’ way.”

“If someone needs sing. I could do it, since I don’t have an instrument, plus I have a voice of an angel,” suggests Lance.

Keith scoffs as he comments, “You can hardly keep a beat. I don’t think you could sing.”

“Fine! If your so good you do it!” challenges Lance annoyed at this whole thing already.

Keith growls as he yells frustrated, “Fine!”

Keith strums the kioapa as he begins to sing as he focuses on Lance, “Sorry I don’t treat you like a god. Is that what you want me to do? Sorry I don’t treat you like you’re perfect. Like all your little loyal fangirls do.”

They watch amazed, not even bothering to play anything, as Keith continues, ”Sorry I’m not made of sugar. And I’m not sweet enough for you? Is that why you always avoid me? That must be such an inconvenience to you..“

Keith is practically on his own world as he sings, ”Well… I’m just your problem. I’m just your problem. It’s like I’m not even a person, am I? I’m just your problem.

The other Paladins watch in amazement as the door begins to glow bright. Hunk, Pidge, and Allura watch in awe at the state of Keith and the door, but Lance he’s too focused on the lyrics as Keith continues, ”Well, I shouldn’t have to justify what I do. I shouldn’t have to prove anything to you. I’m sorry that I exist, I forget what landed me on your blacklist. But I shouldn’t have to be the one that makes up with you.

Hunk turns to Lance who doesn’t seem to realizing about the door as he comments, “It’s working! Look at the door!”

So… why do I want to? Why do I want to… To…uh… Ugh,“ groans Keith as he realizes what he might’ve sang in front of Lance. The door dims significantly as it returns back to its original dirt color. He flushes red in frustration and embarrassment as he goes to Lance who was still processing what happened. “Stop staring at me! Ugh, you threw me off!”

Lance doesn’t retort back as he blinks slowly shocked at that happened as he breaks out when Allura says with urgency, “Come on, Paladins! Don’t stop now. The door was responding to our music!”

“I wonder what it liked or what was the missing variable,” wonders Pidge as she tries to figure it out while the others thought about it.

Keith stays silent as he avoids the gaze of Lance till Lance compliments, “That was pretty a good song. Figures you can sing and play with that mullet of yours.”

Keith smiles at the compliment as he thanks, “Thanks. You weren’t so bad at beatboxing earlier, even though you couldn’t keep up.”

Keith walks away to Pidge and Hunk while hiding his face as Allura walks over to Lance as she compliments, “That was kind what you said to Keith. I’m almost certain he appreciates it.”

“Yeah, whatever. I’m sure he’s going to hold it against me next time we get into it,” says Lance as he shrugs.

Allura chuckles as they all sit in a circle as they try figure out a plan as Hunk suggests, “How about a song about food?”

“No!” denies Lance, Keith, and Pidge in unison as they all chuckle.

Pidge yells suddenly, “I got it! I got the perfect formula how to open the door!”

Pidge types away as as she writes a plan in the dirt as she explains, “I’m executing Sound Structure Alpha. Keith, begin playing triplet quavers in mixolydian mode.”

“You got it Pidge,” says Keith as he strums before realizing something. “Wait, what’s a quaver?”

“Lance, vibrate your uvula by dampening and undampening your larynx,” orders Pidge but Lance makes a confused sound as Pidge shows it off vibrating her voice. “Like this.”

Lance nods slowly slightly understanding but not quite but he does so. Pidge motions Hunk and Allura to follow as they understand but it’s just making everyone frustrated to the point Pidge groans, “Everyone, just stick to my blueprints.”

Suddenly everyone stops when Pidge gasps when her laptop bursts into sparks slightly as Lance sighs, “One more go?”

Pidge blushes embarrassed as she says, “I may have uh miscalculated.”

“Lets just try my plan. I believe I figured it out,” suggests Allura stubbornly.

“No! I can figure this out!” argues Pidge annoyed as she begins to change her plan.

“Why don’t we listen to Allura. She might have something to get this over with,” adds in Keith annoyed as the sun began to set already.

“If we’re doing her idea! Then we should do my idea!” adds in Hunk getting annoyed at everybody as well.

“Alright, time out, guys,” says Lance trying to soothe his friends but it just made it worse as people step over on Pidge’s plan. She gasps in shock as she storms off with Allura who leaves in frustration as well. “Pidge! Allura, wait!”

Keith groans in frustration as he kicks some rocks as he says angry, “Whatever. Ugh! I’m outta here, too!“ 

“Keith?” says Lance getting upset his friends are already giving up.

“You know what! They’re right! This is ridiculous we can wait for that Vulcione to come out and deal with it. Maybe then we can get our stuff back,” says Hunk upset as he follows the others in sadness and frustration.

“Hunk! Everybody! We can do this! …Together,” says Lance dejectly as he watches his friends walk away.

Lance claps softly as he begins to sing, ”Everyone, Allura, I’m so dumb, I should’ve just told you. What I lost, was a piece of your hair.“

Everyone stops where they are as Allura is surprised at why Lance was upset about the Vulcione while everyone was caught off guard by his singing as he continues, ”Now it’s gone, gone forever, but I guess, what does it matter. When I just, just had all of you there….

Oh, just had all of you there with me, my friends…..If you’re even my friends,“ sings Lance as he places his hands in his pocket. He looks at the door in shock as it glows slightly. “You like this? This is what was missing. The truth!”

Everyone turns around at his declaration as Keith begins to strum as Lance continues with a bit more passion, “What am I to you?”

Lance looks at Pidge and Keith as he sings, “Am I a joke….”

He turns to Allura. “Paladin.”

Then finally to Hunk. “Or your brother?”.“

What am I to you? Do you look down on me ‘cause I’m dumber? Do you think that I don’t understand?“ sings Lance as he sends them a smirk.

I just wanted us together and to play as a band. Today was the most fun I’ve ever had,” sings Lance as he turns to Keith who’s been keeping up with beat as he smiles at him, which caused Keith to smile back. “Even liked it when the two of us would get mad…at each other.”

Lance then looks at all of them as he sings happily, “Oh, you a-a-a-a-are my best friends in the world.”

You a-a-a-a-are my best friends in the world. And That’s ri-i-i-i-ight, I’m talking about the two of you girls,” sings Lance as he smiles to Allura and Pidge as they begin to join to to the song.

And you Hunk, I wanna sing a song to you and I refuse to make it fake,” sings Lance as he turns to his best friend with a smile. “What am I to you?”

Keith eventually walks up to Keith as they stare at each other with hidden pride, and dare they say loving, look as they sing together back to back, “Am I a joke, Paladin, or your brother? What am I to you?”

Keith realizes the moment as he walks away as Lance sings as he walks away, “Do you look down on me ‘cause I’m dumber?”

Do you think that I don’t understand? I just wanted us together and to play as a band. I’ll forget that I lost a piece of your hair. I’ll remember that moment that we shared…over there,” sings Lance awkwardly trying to think of a rhyme as he looks at Allura who smiles at proudly as she looks at her Bayard knowing what he meant by moment.

Ah ah, you a-a-a-a-are my best friends in the world. You a-a-a-a-are my best friends in the world,” sings Lance as he looks Keith and then quickly turns to Pidge and Allura. “And that’s ri-i-i-i-ight, I’m talking about the two of you girls.”

And you, Hunk,” sings Lance as the door glows even brighter than before as he turns to Hunk who smiles at him sincerely. “I’m gonna sing a song to you and I refuse to make it fake.”

Make no mistake, I’m gonna sing a song that feels so real, it’ll make this do-o-o-o-or break!” finishes Lance as he raises his fist to the sky as a big finish as the door opens. Suddenly he’s bombarded by a group hug.

“That was truly amazing!”

“Dude, I didn’t know you had pipes like that!”

“It was awesome!”

“Guess, I was wrong. You do sing well.”

They remember their mission as they see the Vulcione sleeping before it wakes up with growl as Lance says, “It’s over you little thief!”

“Yeah, so give us back our stuff!” adds Hunk as the creature shakes his head angrily before the creature is knocked out cold by Pidge’s Bayard.

Pidge ransacks the area as she grabs a stolen bag it took to give back the other villagers. Hunk goes through the pouch as he passes the lock of hair to Lance saying, “Here’s your Lady Blues reminder you love so much.”

Allura giggles as she says shocked, “That’s why you kept that. To remind yourself of Blue? That’s so sweet of you Lance.”

Lance blushes embarrassed as he mutters, “Geez, now she’s going to think I’m even more of a goofball.”

“And here’s Hunky’s rocky,” says Hunk as he rubs the rock gently on his face before pocketing it.

“Here’s your photo Pidge,” says Hunk as he passes it to her.

She grabs it eagerly as she cheers, “Yippee!”

“Allura, here’s your hairtie,” says Hunk holding up a red hairtie to her.

“I was missing my earring,” says Allura grabbing a earring from the pouch as she puts it on before looking at the hairtie strangely. “So that’s not mine…”

Everyone turns to Keith as he walks over and grabs then admits with a blush, “Sorry, this actually belongs to me.”

Everyone stares at him oddly before Lance blushes as he asks, “Is that the hairtie I flicked at you when we first started Voltron?“

“Yeah, what of it?” asks Keith annoyed.

“You actually kept it?” asks Lance with a red face.

“You were right. Sometimes I need to pull my hair back,” says Keith defensively.

“But you never do,” points out Lance as he looks at him skeptically.

“I actually wear it all the time just in case,” says Keith as he puts it on his wrist underneath his gloves. “On my wrist.”

“Wait a second, is our esteemed leader embarrassed he keeps something special from me?” asks Lance smugly as Keith blushes more.

“I’m not embarrassed!” yells Keith annoyed at the smug look on Lance’s face.

“No way, you’re caught! I figured you out!” cheers Lance smugly as he laughs and boldly grabs the hairtie off his wrist and runs off.

“I’m going to kill you Lance!” yells Keith as he begins to chase him while the other Paladins follow him with laughs and smiles.

Imagine your biological father, Rafael Barba, filing for full legal custody of you

(A/N: I read up on actual case custody law in the state of New York and I have simplified the process for the purposes of the story. So I apologize to any experts or anyone who picks up on the discrepancies. I wanted to keep the story flowing. Beside from that I hope you enjoy this) 

Masterlist with all the Parts HERE

Imagine your biological father, Rafael Barba, filing for full legal custody of you

“What do you mean?” You asked, looking up at your Grandpa.

“Well,” He began, taking a deep breath as he tried to mask the extent of his worry, “It means that as soon as the results proved that he was, in fact, your father and he was granted his Order of Affiliation he and his attorney filed for full legal custody of you which therefore means that he is looking for the removal as my rights of your legal guardian,”

“What?” You panicked, looking away, “Can he do that?”

“He can now, he’s officially your Father by law and not just biologically,” He answered.

“But it just doesn’t make sense,” You stated, “And he may he may be all of those things but he isn’t my Dad,”

“I know you’re upset…” He began once again.

“I will be upset,” You corrected, “But right now I’m just angry. Who does he think he is? He’s a stranger to me. A couple of weeks of conversations suddenly justifies to him to be my Dad? He doesn’t even know me! Now he wants to take me away from the only family I’ve ever had. Wait, I am not going to live with you anymore?”

Keep reading

2

(Requested by Anon)

You arrived at the Cullen home for Renesmee’s 18th birthday party. She and her other siblings went to your school and you had been one of the chosen few who were invited to attend her party. You and Renesmee were good friends, so of course you jumped at the invitation.

Keep reading

Garrett and Carlisle having a chat.
  • Carlisle summoning his long forgotten accent: I think I'm going to go on holiday.
  • Garrett: What did you say?
  • Carlisle: Holiday. I'm going to go on holiday.
  • Garrett: Why are you doing this to me?
  • Carlisle still in accent: I saved this one just for you, mate.
  • Garrett: Stop it! We fought this war already. It's over. Stop talking like that! Traitor!
  • Carlisle: Would you like to join me, Garrett. On Holiday?
  • Garrett: I'm leaving.
  • Carlisle: Oi! Come back! You haven't told me where you want to go on Holiday!

I’m beginning to think the only guys I should be dating are ones who also CrossFit. Anyone else either doesn’t get my dedication or I am nearly stronger than them.