anonymous asked:

We need some Josh Diaz head canons, you agree?


you’ve come to the right place son (also ive come up with a lot of these with @haydensromero)

  • josh is a basketball player
  • he’s bisexual
  • his leather jacket is like his second skin
  • he has a motorcycle and he named it pietro (bc he’s a huge comic book nerd and his motorcycle is fast just like quicksilver)
  • he wants to adopt every homeless cat he meets on the street and you know what? he does
  • and he gives those cats the dumbest, most cliche names possible like susan, amanda, trevor and of course he named the ginger cat garfield
  • he flirts with every person he ever meets but when someone flirts him back he turns red like a tomato 
  • he’s basically a horny virgin 
  • but he’s also a fast learner an once he gets on the right way of doing things… you’ll need help
  • he’s an amazing cooker (like, he cooks for the whole chimera pack and he seasons food for differently especially for corey cause he’s more sensitive to spicy food and eating one of his most spicy tapas almost killed corey cause he couldnt stop choking)
  • he doesn’t have time for your “that’s not a male thing to do” no. he will paint his nails, he will tell other guys they’re attractive, he doesn’t give a fuck about your opinion 
  • president of Pineapple on Pizza Hate Campaign™
  • matching socks are for losers (that’s what he claims but really he’s too sleepy in the morning to care and look for matching ones) 
  • 90% of his wardrobe are black clothes 
  • he drinks more coffee than an average person could take (purely black, but ocassionally he loves a carmel frappucino) 
  • he likes to joke that his coffee is as dark as his soul, but the truth is that he’s a cinnamon roll 
  • HE ABSOLUTELY FREAKS OUT WHEN A THUNDERSTORM IS COMING! he will clean the house at 2am, listening to music and pretending the mop is his dancing partner and when corey comes downstairs to tell him to stop and go back to bed, he will challenge him to a lightsaber battle doing is best yoda voice like “train you must, my young padawan. your weapon is where?” and corey’d run off to wherever they keep mops to get one and they’d start fighting, making lightsaber noises and when josh’d swing his mop too far, the wet part would hit theo (who just arrived in the living room because they woke him up) in the face. corey would go pale and josh’d just drop his mop, whispering just loud enough for corey to hear “darth vader arrived has. run i must, my young padawan” and he’d run off, theo right after him yelling “IM GOING TO KILL YOU DIAZ” “YEAH, YOU ALREADY KILLED ME AND GUESS WHAT? IM ALIVE” “BECAUSE I BROUGHT YOU BACK FOR FUCK’S SAKE” “SO WHAT? IM ALIVE” and they’d just keep running around the house beating and yelling at each other for the rest of the night until tracy came down and paralyzed them both bc they woke her up
  • he has a thor apron corey bought for him cause he knows josh is a huge thor fan. since that day, josh diaz has never worn any other apron 

and here some involving other people (mainly the chimera pack) 

  • he’s corey’s wingman and he ships morey a lot
  • he doesnt like liam tho and he always makes fun of his height like “what are you gonna do lil gremlin? headbutt me in the nipples? you’re not even tall enough to reach my neck” 
  • pissing off theo raeken is be his passion (like hiding his favourite clothes, putting his car keys tall enough for theo not be able to reach, eating the rest of his fave cereal) 
  • sometimes he will bitch about theo with hayden in spanish so theo doesnt understand what they’re saying
  • because he’s the tallest from the pack, he’s also “the mom”. there are days when he gets up at 5am, makes everyone their favourite breakfast, also prepares and packs them food for school (he also makes some for Mason because he knows that Mason often forgets it). but there are also days when he’s like “nah, fuck them” and he sleeps and sleeps and sleeps and ignores the alarm and doesnt get up even when corey comes into his room, grabs his leg and drags him out of the bed, no. josh will just keep on sleeping on the floor. he’d only wake up when theo came in his room and spilled a huge bowl of ice cold water on him. 
  • one time when corey and josh were home alone (and it was right before a thunderstorm) they took theo’s car and basically started to drive in a circle, burning the tires (pretty much like this scene from kingsman) but in this case, theo stops the car using his werewolf strength. and when he does that, he’s just like “now im going to show you how an alpha disciplines his betas” and josh’d just snort “you’re not even a real alpha” and theo would roar at him pissed. the next thing josh knows is that he’s alone in the car, he sees the door close and corey is nowhere to be found
  • on parties, josh diaz just likes to get drunk and blend in, do no stupid shit. not like wasted drunk, but just drunk. he usually ends up  making out with random people, and this time was no exception, he ended up on a couch making out with a guy and a girl at the same time. things were really steamy, but something odd hit josh. the guy was smelling really familiar. he knew the smell cause he smelled it almost everyday. “THEO?!” he almost yelled “JOSH?! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” “WHAT AM I DOING? YOU’RE THE ONE WHO CLAIMS TO BE STRAIGHT” “THAT’S BECAUSE I AM STRAIGHT” “mhm, yeah, corey’s straight too” josh’d get up, and fixing his clothes he’d add “not that i mind though, you’re a really good kisser” and he’d just leave theo there with his jaw on the floor