garden weasel

Everything is fucked
and we can’t fix it.

So bring on the drugs
the critically acclaimed television
the 99 cent double cheeseburgers.

Entropy is measured in unclaimed garden weasels.

Last night Billy Mays appeared to me in a dream.
He was in heaven, selling the 70 virgin set
do it yourself “Anal Bleaching Dream Cream.”

Not only does it make everything, including assholes,
incredibly white, but it transforms infidels, karma, and original sin!
Act within 30 minutes, and you’ll never feel guilty again.

Billy Mays wept joyfully as a host of angels
sang the product’s praises,
even as the devil read aloud the fine print
even as my cell phone lost all hope of reception.