who you should fight: dragon age 2 edition

has this been done before

  • Hawke: i mean, you could. a lot of people want to fight Hawke. whether you should though is… debatable. Varric said it himself, messing with Hawke is suicide. so, you could fight Hawke, but you probably won’t win.
  • Leandra: what is wrong with you.
  • Carver: you could fight Carver. well, actually, Carver will probably want to fight you. he would probably win, though.
  • Bethany: why the fuck would you want to fight Bethany she has done nothing wrong.
  • Gamlen: please fight Gamlen.
  • Varric: i don’t know why you would want to fight Varric, i mean, he’s been through a lot of shit. but you definitely could. either way, if you win or not, he’ll tell the people in the tavern a story about you. if you scratch Bianca though….
  • Bartrand: fuckign do it fight Bartrand who cares if you win or not just punch him in his fuckign face.
  • Anders: i mean, i personally wouldn’t fight Anders because Justice will probably get involved. well, i wouldn’t fight Anders in general. but you could, if you wanted to. you might win with the right strategies, but if you do, you have to probably fight Hawke then. Fenris would want you to fight Anders though.
  • Justice: don’t do it.
  • Fenris: Fenris can stick his hand in your chest and pull out your heart do you really think it’s a good idea to fight him?
  • Aveline: you should not fight Aveline. she will win. and if she doesn’t, you have the entire Guard as your enemy. do you really want that.
  • Isabela: i mean. she’s a duelist. she will probably win if you fight her. but, if you feel obligated to, go ahead. but you saw what happened to those guys in the Hanged Man. you can try, but you won’t succeed.
  • Merrill: Anders and Fenris would tell you to fight Merrill in a heartbeat. and you could fight Merrill, but you probably shouldn’t. she tries her best to make things right and good and just wants to preserve her culture. 
  • The Arishok: he’s actually gonna be the one fighting you. have fun with that.
  • First Enchanter Orsino: i mean, you will probably end up fighting Orsino. but i personally would not initially want to fight Orsino. like, he’s first enchanter. the guy’s pretty damn powerful. he killed those Qunari outside the Viscount’s Keep with ease. your call.
  • Knight-Commander Meredith: everyone wants you to fight Meredith. the mages do, the templars do, your fucking dog probably wants you to fight Meredith. you want to fight Meredith.

(i tried okay i never had sebastian in my game so someone else can do that omg)

imagine gamlen worrying when anders moves into the hawke estate

he actually likes leandra’s kid, though he’d never admit it, and he doesn’t want to watch history repeat itself

imagine gamlen actually interacting with anders and slowly becoming afraid, because this apostate is brimming with hate in a way that malcolm never was

imagine gamlen pacing back and forth, barely keeping himself from leaving the room he barricaded to search for hawke when the city riots

imagine gamlen getting drunk alone after he hears that hawke and anders ran away together, that leandra’s child is on the run with the most wanted mage in thedas

imagine gamlen snapping and throwing something, cursing out the child that takes after their mother so much, cursing out the one hawke that actually did something with their life

imagine gamlen trying desperately not think about hawke dead, about how their love for that wretched mage will be their downfall

Where does this whole “Anders is about as romantic as a brick” thing come from?

My boy Anders is very romantic and very sweet.

He tries to learn to play the lute in order to serenade Hawke in-game. He’s obvious enough with his affections that not only the whole party has taken notice of it, and pretty early on in the relationship, but Leandra knows just on the way he looks at Hawke, Gamlen knows. Meredith knows they’re together, even. He breaks down in-game if Hawke falls in battle. He worries constantly that his mere presence in the Hawke estate is a danger to Hawke and takes preventative measures to protect them. He desired Hawke, both romantically and sexually, for three years and didn’t act on it because he was hoping for it to become ‘right’, but rationalized that his mere existence was considered wrong in the eyes of the Chantry and it would tear both he and Hawke apart if their love was discovered and they were separated.

He’s not poetry and roses every night and sweeping love ballads, but he is romantic. He’s brushing aside his partner’s hair while they sleep as he marvels at how he managed to find someone so wonderful. He’s small love notes in the margins of your journal when he’s gone before you wake up. He’s an excess of healing poultices being left in your pack because he can’t join you on the field, but he can make sure you’re well-prepared while he worries for your safety at the clinic. He’s his chest growing with pride whenever someone talkes about Hawke in a positive light, and jumping to their defense, consequences be damned, when they’re spoken about in a negative light. He’s nights of passionate lovemaking because his days are spent fighting for his cause and healing the infirm.

Anders is romantic, just not in a traditional sense.

Alright so real talk right now, Gamlen. He’s vile and rude but he’s pretty good to the Hawke family. He puts his neck on the line to get them into the city, he houses them for more than a year, all the while paying for all of their needs (Since Hawke and their sibling have more or less been slaves to Meeran/Athenril for the year and Leandra can’t possibly lift a finger to help).

Leandra ran off and probably was never going to come back, so why WOULD he set something aside for her? She dumped him and the Amell family like they were hot. Like yeah Gamlen hasn’t been responsible with his money but hell he didn’t know he was going to be providing for himself AND his sister and her children and dog.

I just hate that he’s not appreciated more. He’s got a shitty personality but he’s as good as he possibly can be to his family, and gets no credit for it. I think it’s tragic. 

-Mod Fenris

Imagine pregnant Hawke

In the interlude years between Acts 2 and 3

• Aveline always sticking around as a bodyguard, glaring down anyone who might make trouble.
• Merrill constantly coming up to Hightown with burned cookies (that Hawke loves) and Dalish tricks and stretches and remedies.
• Anders always fussing over how she’s feeling, how she’s eating, how much weight she’s gained.
• Varric and Isabella making bets on when the baby will come (which Aveline ends up winning).
• Fenris lurking at Hawke’s side like an angry cat, showing her love and affection and making every excuse for her to refrain from doing anything even mildly strenuous.
• Gamlen sneaking into the manor when Hawke’s out to help Bodahn and Sandal restore the Amell nursery.
• Carver/Bethany sending a box of those little cream chocolates that Hawke loves every few weeks, not knowing that her stomach now rolls at the thought of them.

Just… Pregnant Hawke!

So I went to visit Gamlen in lowtown and immediately after having a somewhat heartfelt conversation with him I pressed the button again to see if he had anything else to talk about, when he spouts this.

“So I’ve heard you’ve been slipping it to that pirate slut from the Hanged Man. Urgh what’s it like? I’ve always wondered with two women.”


Seriously though, what the shit Gamlen i’m yo niece you sunnuvabitch.