who you should fight: dragon age 2 edition

has this been done before

  • Hawke: i mean, you could. a lot of people want to fight Hawke. whether you should though is… debatable. Varric said it himself, messing with Hawke is suicide. so, you could fight Hawke, but you probably won’t win.
  • Leandra: what is wrong with you.
  • Carver: you could fight Carver. well, actually, Carver will probably want to fight you. he would probably win, though.
  • Bethany: why the fuck would you want to fight Bethany she has done nothing wrong.
  • Gamlen: please fight Gamlen.
  • Varric: i don’t know why you would want to fight Varric, i mean, he’s been through a lot of shit. but you definitely could. either way, if you win or not, he’ll tell the people in the tavern a story about you. if you scratch Bianca though….
  • Bartrand: fuckign do it fight Bartrand who cares if you win or not just punch him in his fuckign face.
  • Anders: i mean, i personally wouldn’t fight Anders because Justice will probably get involved. well, i wouldn’t fight Anders in general. but you could, if you wanted to. you might win with the right strategies, but if you do, you have to probably fight Hawke then. Fenris would want you to fight Anders though.
  • Justice: don’t do it.
  • Fenris: Fenris can stick his hand in your chest and pull out your heart do you really think it’s a good idea to fight him?
  • Aveline: you should not fight Aveline. she will win. and if she doesn’t, you have the entire Guard as your enemy. do you really want that.
  • Isabela: i mean. she’s a duelist. she will probably win if you fight her. but, if you feel obligated to, go ahead. but you saw what happened to those guys in the Hanged Man. you can try, but you won’t succeed.
  • Merrill: Anders and Fenris would tell you to fight Merrill in a heartbeat. and you could fight Merrill, but you probably shouldn’t. she tries her best to make things right and good and just wants to preserve her culture. 
  • The Arishok: he’s actually gonna be the one fighting you. have fun with that.
  • First Enchanter Orsino: i mean, you will probably end up fighting Orsino. but i personally would not initially want to fight Orsino. like, he’s first enchanter. the guy’s pretty damn powerful. he killed those Qunari outside the Viscount’s Keep with ease. your call.
  • Knight-Commander Meredith: everyone wants you to fight Meredith. the mages do, the templars do, your fucking dog probably wants you to fight Meredith. you want to fight Meredith.

(i tried okay i never had sebastian in my game so someone else can do that omg)


Even though he’s a greedy ass, I genuinely feel for Gamlen sometimes. Leandra -did- run away to fulfill her own desires while he stayed and remained a caretaker for his parents. We don’t know if he’s playing it up a bit, but if it’s all true, I feel as though he has reason to be bitter toward her and them. I’d be hurt in a situation like that, too.

Confession: I actually like Uncle Gamlen. For all that he’s supposed to be sleazy, unsympathetic, and a general failure, I’ve always appreciated how, when you get down to it, he’s not a bad guy. Cheats and gambles? Sure- but never malevolent or violent, and he stayed by family. Every time Leandra sighs about not being nobility the inheritance, I sympathize with Gamlen more. It might never have been his to squander… but he deserved it more for sticking by family, then and now. So here’s to Uncle Gamlen!


Alright so real talk right now, Gamlen. He’s vile and rude but he’s pretty good to the Hawke family. He puts his neck on the line to get them into the city, he houses them for more than a year, all the while paying for all of their needs (Since Hawke and their sibling have more or less been slaves to Meeran/Athenril for the year and Leandra can’t possibly lift a finger to help).

Leandra ran off and probably was never going to come back, so why WOULD he set something aside for her? She dumped him and the Amell family like they were hot. Like yeah Gamlen hasn’t been responsible with his money but hell he didn’t know he was going to be providing for himself AND his sister and her children and dog.

I just hate that he’s not appreciated more. He’s got a shitty personality but he’s as good as he possibly can be to his family, and gets no credit for it. I think it’s tragic. 

-Mod Fenris