last night i had a dream there was like a homestuck sitcom and all i remember is karkat talking to the camera looking worried saying “gamzee hasnt eaten anything but Easy Cheese and weed brownies for the past three days” then it cut to a smug-looking gamzee who said “he thinks its been three days, its actually been three weeks” then he sprayed some Easy Cheese into his mouth

  • Me: *looking at pictures of gay ships*
  • Dad: *Looks over sholder*
  • Dad: Why are you looking at pictures of people kissing?
  • Me: Because......
  • Dad: I can't tell which one is the girl....
  • Me: Ohhh....*points to the uke*
  • Me: That one.
  • Dad: Okay *nods slowly and walks away*
  • Me: *breaths out a sigh of relief*
  • Me: That was close.
A Eulogy for all the Homestuck ships that didn't make it.
  • JohnKat: Sunk by a meme. Tragic.
  • DadMom: Sunk by a violent stabbing, also Tragic.
  • JadeJohn and DaveRose: Goddamn, Hussie pulled a George Lucas on us there. "You like that ship? Well they're related now, whoopsie!"
  • JohnDave: Well, you'll always have A03 at least.
  • JadeRose: The forgotten Beta ship. You were cute.
  • DaveTavros: You were a thing apparently? Well the fanart was cute.
  • Gamrezi: You'll always have the Shelby Cragg AU's at least.
  • TaVris: Hmmm....
  • GamTav: I have so many sad and complicated feelings towards you. It's hard and nobody understands.
  • GamKar: There was so much unexplored potential and too much offscreen development.
  • JohnRose: Never liked you, but you deserved better than a bunch of people throwing a fit over a t-shirt.
  • Erisol: I'll miss the <3<, and your Sprite.
  • Equara: God remember that anon that really really really hated this ship? Remember the harassment and gore submissions? That shit was wild... and creepy. Don't do this over fictional relationships kids.
  • JasproseJane: Never saw that one coming did we?
  • JohnVris: I will Remem8er You!
  • AraSol: Confirmed? Sunk? Aw well, you had a good run.
  • SolFef: Goddamnit Eridan.
  • EriSolFef: "We coulda had it aaaaaaall"
  • Rufioh/Damara: A foot note in the backstory that could have been explored more.
  • Daverezi: Sunk offscreen no less! A true shame.
  • Karezi: Retconned out of existence and the two don't even talk anymore. Ouch.
  • EquiKar: Fuck all of you this was cute.
  • VrisKan: Sigh. Rest in Peace Vriskan, may the shippers sing you to your grave.
  • Les8fins: Damnit Aranea!
  • Les8fins 2.0: Dammnit Meenah!
  • Meulin/Kurloz: Wow, that was an odd couple wasn't it?
  • Grimluck: I want to believe.
  • Person B: *Looking at the dirty garbage that is stinking up their place* Ugh, I got to get rid of the trash.
  • Person A: *Looking up from their computer* Why do you want to get rid of me?
  • Person B: *Looking over at Person A, with a "I am so sick and tired of your shit" face* Shut up
  • Person A: *into a radio to speak to Person B about a stakeout they're doing for a murder* Hey, Person B, how are we doin'?
  • Person B: Ready, willing, and able. Just like your sister.
  • Person A: My sister wouldn't touch you with a six-foot pole. And neither would Stanislowski.
  • Person B: Who the fuck is Stanislowski?
  • Person A: A six-foot pole.