gaming lore

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Someone told me that Leliana can’t declare the next age as the Nug Age. Well you all forgot that we are talking about Leliana aka the former Left Hand of the Divine, Spymaster, Nightingale of the Imperial Court, Seneschal of the Inquisition and Princess Stabbity Stab Kill Kill!

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Welcome to a world without Light.

Keep reading

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And while he recounted once more the events of his time in the shadows he took his Rose from its holster and began grafting the bone to its steel frame — just another trophy, from another battle won.
—-
In his first moments as a new being, he looked down at his Rose and realized for the first time that it held no petals: only the jagged purpose of angry thorns.

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This tale of our shared past is entrusted to the King of Kings.

The Six have safeguarded this star since time immemorial - each of a different mind, but united by this common purpose.

The gods’ protection extends to all creatures here below - even to the mortals created in their image. They are feeble creatures leading fragile lives and clinging to foolish fancies. The Frostbearer scorns these visions of ‘hope’ which melt like snow in the sun’s light.

Yet the Pyreburner admires their strength of will. For their reverence, he grants unto them his flame, and the world of man flourishes. His benevolence warms the frozen heart of the Frostbearer. The mortals have earned her respect; he, her love and admiration.

It is not long, however, before some among those men ascend to new heights of hubris. The people of Solheim spurn the gods who blessed them - the gods they once worshipped. The ungrateful mortals incur the wrath of the Pyreburner. He seeks to raze the very civilization his flames once helped build.

But the Six are sworn to defend this star and all of her inhabitants from harm - and, at times, from one another. The flames of war surge as Solheim fends off the Pyreburner’s fire. The gods’ pleas for peace fall on deaf ears and the battle rages on.

When the smoke clears, the world of man is in ruins, their star left scarred for time eternal. Wearied from war, the Six seek solace in slumber.

A Hunter’s Field Notes Following Towerfall and the Red War

On the Cabal

  • Impressively large
    • Addendum: Also impressively ugly
  • Dislike being shot.
    • Addendum: Shoot them more.
  • Like dogs?
    • Addendum: Not dogs. Do not pet.
  • Wear bombs as backpacks. Not particularly smart.

On Allies

  • Almost punched Asher Mir today. Ghost transmatted me to orbit mid-swing. I do not believe he noticed.
    • Addendum: Will try again next time.
  • I enjoy being referred to as ‘Captain’
    • Addendum: How come Ghost never calls me ‘Captain?’
    • Addendum 2: Ghost dislikes this question.
  • Shaxx says I’m his favorite Guardian
    • Addendum: Ghost has informed me that Shaxx calls every Guardian his favorite Guardian. 
    • Addendum 2: I am not disappointed.
    • Addendum 3: Am mildly disappointed.

Miscellaneous

  • Have yet to find sufficient replacement cloak in wake of Cityfall
    • Addendum: speak to Cayde, find way to kill Gary again.
    • Addendum 2: Ghost has informed me that Cayde already tried.
    • Addendum 3: Spoke to Cayde. Exploring options.
    • Addendum 4: Vanguard not interested in resurrecting Gary for purposes of killing again.
  • DO NOT ATTEMPT TO SWIM ON TITAN
    • Addendum: That is not water
    • Addendum 2: Have asked Ghost to teach me to swim regardless
    • Addendum 3: Based on creatures in not-water, interest in swimming has diminished. Ghost concurs.
  • Cayde’s pants are not lucky
    • Addendum: Find luckier pants.

- Cryptarch Records // Anonymous

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Hello I hate myself for spending so much time on these but w/e

TYPE: Ghost Shell Recording

DESCRIPTION: Crucible Announcement

LOCATION: Earth, Exodus Blue

//AUDIO AVAILABLE//

//RECORDING FOLLOWS//

[Cayde-6] Okay, listen up children. Shaxx lost, again, which means that today, I am the Crucible. Here are the rules: first of all, no Warlocks. Just leave. Go on! Yep, that’s right - yes, you. I’m looking right at you. I can see you, and you’re not -

[incoherent mumbling]

[Cayde-6] Ikora, I….fine. Fine! Fair point. Belay that order. Warlocks can stay. Okay, where was I? Right. First rule, take two: every time you die, you finish your drink.

[incoherent mumbling]

[Cayde-6] What’s that?

[incoherent mumbling]

[Cayde-6] What do you mean they don’t have drinks? Sweet mercy, no wonder Shaxx is always grumpy. Okay, let’s start over. First rule, take three: everyone needs a drink to hold.

[incoherent mumbling]

[Cayde-6] Yes, the entire time.

[incoherent mumbling]

[Cayde-6] Yes, I know that means you only get one hand for your gun. Ikora, was I not clear that I am the Crucible today? Not you, not Zavala, me. Shaxx and I had a deal, and you are not allowed to ruin this.

[incoherent mumbling]

[Cayde-6] No, I did not cheat.

[incoherent mumbling]

[Cayde-6] Will you stop backseat Shaxx-ing me?

[silence]

[silence]

[silence]

[Cayde-6] A-hem. Second rule: you die, you finish your drink. Third rule: if you spill your drink, you have to spin in a circle for thirty seconds and then get a new one. Fourth rule: every time I say ‘Yahtzee!’ everybody everywhere has to finish their whole drink.

[incoherent mumbling]

[Cayde-6] Huh? No, it doesn’t happen on a timer. I yell ‘Yahtzee’ whenever I feel like it.  And of course they can keep shooting while they’re drinking. Anyway, here’s the deal: You get a kill, you take a sip. You get a headshot, you take two. You knife someone’s face, you finish your drink. The best taunt gets extra points, and, uh…hm.

[incoherent mumbling]

[Cayde-6] Ikora, that’s a great idea. Yes, Sparrow kills count double. If you get killed by a Sparrow, finish your drink and maybe lie down for a while. Any questions? Didn’t think so. And you, Titan, with the two drinks and no guns: I like your style.

[incoherent mumbling]

[Cayde-6] A send-off? Right you are, Ikora.

[glass clinking]

[Cayde-6] Bottoms up, Guardians.



[Inspired by @thexostranger‘s post]

why does no one ever talk about the southern dalish clans of thedas? the ones from origins?

and by that i mean their weird, horrible pronunciation of elvhen.

in dragon age 2 and inquisition, you’ve got your graceful, correct way of saying things like “lethallin.” “andaran atishan.” “ma serannas!” 

and then there’s just…the southern clan. you know the one.

“UhnDAYruhn aTEEshun!”

“Dayreth Sheeral!”

the northern clans don’t talk to them. don’t talk about them. they hear the gentle whisper of “mah seerenus” on the wind and shudder.

Recently-overheard Fireteam Sayings:

“There will be no bestiality while I’m in charge.”

“Loot me, daddy!”

“The big ones are the doggos and the little ones are puppers. It’s the doggos you gotta watch out for.”

“Calus is T H I C C”

“I SAID NO BESTIALITY”

“God, I wish I could touch Shaxx’s butt.”

“Hold on, I’m pleasuring Calus with my Sweet Business”

“In the end, it was the puppers that got me.”

“Salt me.”

“THIS IS NOT A FURRY CLAN.”

“Hang on, let me find some ammo for my sword.”

“How many times do I have to tell you I’m not your father?”

“Ca-CAW, motherfucker!”

- Clan Report XXX-[REDACTED]