gaming drinking beer

Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.
Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much – no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version – maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: “I like strong women.” If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because “I like strong women” is code for “I hate strong women.”)
—  Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl
Men always say that as the defining compliment: the Cool Girl. She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means that I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.
Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see these men - friends, coworkers, strangers - giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much - no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version - maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: ‘I like strong women.’ If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because 'I like strong women’ is code for 'I hate strong women.’)
I waited patiently - years - for the pendulum to swing the other way, for men to start reading Jane Austen, learn how to knit, pretend to like cosmos, organize scrapbook parties, and make out with each other while we leer. And then we’d say, Yeah, he’s a Cool Guy.
But it never happened. Instead, women across the nation colluded in our degradation! Pretty soon Cool Girl became the standard girl. Men believed she existed - she wasn’t just a dreamgirl one in a million. Every girl was supposed to be this girl, and if you weren’t, then there was something wrong with you.
—  Gone Girl, Gillian Flynn.

Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl. I peg my boyfriend and afterward reassure him of his heterosexuality and overwhelming masculinity.

4

There is a sacred bond between those who watch volleyball together…

anonymous asked:

Here's a little Kaylor plot twist to fuck you up for the night... At the Knicks game, when they were drinking beer... If you look at the pics of them toasting/clinking glasses/saying cheers, whatever the hell you call it, it's their fingers that are touching, not the cups, TSwift is looking confused and Klossanova is smirking, it's like The Door™️: Part 2. Kk is interlacing Tays finger between the outside of two of her own. Ah, good times.

ok but remember karlie reaching out for taylor when they were walking?

wow i miss these pals

being normal american gals

“Juliet, our love can never be…..your father collects cigarette packets, while mine collects computer game packaging.”

– Romeo & Juliet, Act II, scene I (first draft)

gone girl starters

below are random starters taken from/inspired by the novel Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn.

  • ❝Should I remove my soul before I come inside?❞
  • ❝Please don’t eat anything in that area.❞
  • ❝He is the kind of guy who carries himself like he gets laid a lot, a guy who likes women, a guy who would actually fuck me properly.❞
  • ❝I would like to be fucked properly.❞
  • ❝I sound quite slutty, don’t I?❞
  • ❝You look all twitchy.❞
  • ❝There’s no romantic present for wood.❞
  • ❝Go home, fuck her brains out, then smack her with your penis and scream, ‘There’s some wood for you, bitch.‘❞
  • ❝Seems lonely.❞
  • ❝The cat was sweet, but extremely stupid.❞
  • ❝Well you certainly take your time about it, don’t you?❞
  • ❝So how likely is it I’ll meet someone I love, much less someone I love enough to marry?❞
  • ❝'He’s doing what you tell him to do because he doesn’t care enough to argue,’ I think. 'Your petty demands simply make him feel superior, or resentful, and someday he will fuck his pretty, young coworker who asks nothing of him, and you will actually be shocked.'❞
  • ❝Let me guess: baby of the family.❞
  • ❝I am fat with love!❞
  • ❝Neither of us gets stage fright.❞
  • ❝This is how I always pictured it. This is exactly how I pictured it.❞
  • ❝I sometimes bring my coffee and the paper and just sit.❞
  • ❝You’re a planner, aren’t you? You don’t seem like the type to wing anything.❞
  • ❝We call them the 'dancing monkeys’.❞
  • ❝I am content with letting him be himself.❞
  • ❝I wanted to play it cool, but then I started crying.❞
  • ❝Please don’t lay a guilt trip on me on top of it.❞
  • ❝Not according to the prenup.❞
  • ❝I can’t even figure out if I should be angry.❞
  • ❝My dad isn’t someone I like to talk about that much.❞
  • ❝I feel like something is going wrong, very wrong, and that it will get even worse.❞
  • ❝I don’t feel like a person at all : I am something to be loaded and unloaded, like a sofa or a cuckoo clock.❞
  • ❝I don’t feel real anymore.❞
  • ❝I still say it’s the river.❞
  • ❝Picture me: I’m crazy about you.❞
  • ❝Wow your parents must really hate me.❞
  • I ❝Hope you like canned soup.❞
  • ❝If there was ever a time for assisted sleep…❞
  • ❝Just got to keep on keeping on.❞
  • ❝I’m making the best of a really bad situation.❞
  • ❝He/She seemed to have lost all interest in both me and said ailing parents.❞
  • ❝Baby, why the fuck haven’t you called me?❞
  • ❝I need to feel your hands on me, that’s all I’ve been thinking about.❞
  • ❝Come up with me. I want to be with you.❞
  • ❝You fucking idiot.❞
  • ❝Sometimes, I look at myself and I think : No wonder why people around you find you ridiculous, frivolous, and spoiled.❞
  • ❝No it’s not that, truly. I’ve never given blood. My doctor gets angry at me because I can’t even handle a yearly blood test for, like, cholesterol.❞
  • ❝How old are they?❞
  • ❝You’re a cheater!❞
  • ❝It would be funnier if our sex life were as carefree as the rhyme would suggest. But last week we did… fuck? Something more romantic than have sex but less cheesy than make love.❞
  • ❝I can’t help but wonder, what’s the catch?❞
  • ❝You were in a screaming argument about a cat box.❞
  • ❝He uses me for sex when he needs to.❞
  • ❝Quiz: Your husband, with whom you shared a wonderful sex life, has turned distant and cold – he only wants sex his way, on his time. What do you do?❞
  • ❝I’ve been indulging in toddler therapy.❞
  • ❝Well, now might be the right time. To start a family. Try to get pregnant.❞
  • ❝I m cracking under the pressure. I will snap.❞
  • ❝I didn’t realize until I was almost there that it was Valentine’s Day. It was Valentine’s day and I was going to buy a gun and then cook my spouse dinner.❞
  • ❝I just would feel safer with a gun.❞
  • ❝I don’t know what would be good luck : plus sign or minus sign.❞
  • ❝This man might kill me.❞
  • ❝Picture me : I’m a girl who is very bad. I need to be punished, and by punished, I mean HAD.❞
  • ❝I’ve told you, I’ve told you so many times!❞
  • ❝To start: I should never have been born.❞
  • ❝Is she still alive?❞
  • ❝I was the girl/boy who battled oblivion and won.❞
  • ❝I ruined my mother’s womb in the process.❞
  • ❝I’ve always been better than the rest of them. I was the one who made it.❞
  • ❝They get to be perfect without even trying, without even facing one moment of existence, while I am here on earth, and everyday I must try, and every day is a chance to be less than perfect.❞
  • ❝That’s because you loved a person who didn’t really exist.❞
  • ❝Being the Cool Girl means you are a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes, and anal sex.❞
  • ❝Men actually think that girl exists.❞
  • ❝The Cool Girls are even more pathetic. They’re not pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be.❞
  • ❝It’s tempting to be the girl every guy wants.❞
  • ❝They never taught me how to be happy.❞
  • ❝I would always try to figure out why this is fun.❞
  • ❝If you let a man cancel plans or decline to do things for you, you lose.❞
  • ❝What a cunt.❞
9

character moodboard: amy dunne

“Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl. Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl.”

Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.

Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much – no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version – maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: “I like strong women.” If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because “I like strong women” is code for “I hate strong women.”)

—  Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl
  • Some guy: ur such a cool girl :-)
  • Me: Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl. Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say, You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much – no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version – maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: “I like strong women.” If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because “I like strong women” is code for “I hate strong women.”)

Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.

Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much – no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version – maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: “I like strong women.” If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because “I like strong women” is code for “I hate strong women.”)