In 2026 every neighborhood will have a GameStop and video games have become only playable inside GameStop rental rooms. The computers used to run the latest games will cost more than a luxury car. Only the wealthy will own them, and the rest will be forced to rent game time at their local neighborhood GameStop center. Pre-ordering games are now reserving time in the limited game stations available to play. When you pre order your game time on launch day, not only do you get to play the game on launch, but you’ll receive a (((complimentary))) slice of Domino’s pizza, a 16oz mtn dew and a limited edition gamer glove signed by Sony Headquarters the literal building will sign the glove with a building pen. All player text options have been banned from online content, and you can only use emojis for gamer tags ; this way nobody can read bad words or wrong think. You will be playing a real war and not even know it as GameStop is actually a secret military operation that actually tricks members into buying into their own employment. Outside of your habitat dome the world is dangerous and full of savage terrorists that have denied living in the habitat zones and chose a life of anarchy. To rid the world of the enemy, GameStop military operation uses human cyborg drones as a means to take out the brown people while the players think it’s just a virtual reality game. If players find out, they are immediately paralyzed from the waist down, and given a lobotomy and brainwashed to fight full time. Eventually entire neighborhoods are actually pseudo military camps, where your parents are actors paid to groom you into a drone control operator career. Ones who don’t make it become sterile and are thrown into prison by planted evidence of pornography in their bedroom. Women have gone full circle and quickly become surrogates that rapidly reproduce autistic white Boys, the most powerful and #1 choice for playing the new call of duty. Wars never end because EAgames has giant mega domes outside your habitat zone that are producing synthetic low IQ humans for the purpose to groom them into a life of terrorism. EA games will sell users a “season pass” that will allow players to try out killing the new batch of synthetic terrorists before the release the real batch and finalize all their training. You will be fed the new Gatorade G5 edition, fueled with adderall so you can focus really hard.
We had a bit of feedback in previous times we used skins - not as much as I wanted but just enough. The consensus was that it was cool to see team jerseys, but the jerseys were criticized for breaking the TF2 style or being too flashy. This year we aimed for two new changes from last year’s style guide:
retain more Team Spirit palette on things like pants, helmets, belts, & bandoliers
ditch RED = black Medic coat; keep Medic’s coat white for both RED & BLU
ditch logos on the front of jerseys (this was a time management thing more than a style consistency thing tbh)
~*ALL THE GAMER GLOVES*~
This year, the custom skins were FROYOTECH, Jasmine Tea, and Crowns Esports Club. For FROYO, we put less emphasis on the lime.
For Jasmine Tea, Jasmine rolled with a blown-up JT logo. For Crowns, we went off their actual jerseys. Due to time constraints, we recycled and edited Classic Mixup, eLevate and Ascent’s skins for Team XENEX, Full Tilt and Comfortably Spanked respectively.
Scout, Medic, Demoman, Soldier, Sniper and Spy matched a design style. Heavy, Engineer, and Pyro only had logos added to arms & backs due to - you guessed it - time constraints.
(We were also really considered about effort vs. reward as we were disheartened last year by some non-constructive feedback on skins, hence why we didn’t go all out for the specialist classes.)
There’s a lot of things that break from texture to the models in TF2 - there’s not much we can do about that e.g. stripes and logos stretching. I have yet to test it on the high-poly models but I think the streaming crew just ran with highest settings possible for streaming. We wanted to apply bumpmaps this year but time constraints/time worth it?/etc, so the only class that has a custom normal is Scout’s bandages painted over for ~*GAMER GLOVES*~.
Other than the picture used for the TF2 blog, we ran a Twitter campaign Scurvy designed on Teamfortress.tv’s account to promote the teams as well as the skins.
.At some point, the idea of using custom models a la League of Legends’ team skins style came up. We scrapped it because we were afraid to fuck with the silhouettes as well as Valve’s design for a major LAN. We also struggled to figure out how we’d differentiate Scout and Demo since Scout’s team colour would probably be on his pants - therefore mirroring Demo’s colour recognition. Best to save it for a cosmetics pitch, we reckoned.
All in all, it’s good to see the skins again and the hype factor around them - but we’re not entirely sure about the payoff and how much time we spent on them for something that was only one time, and something that has a lot of mixed opinion regarding it. I can’t recall if Comfortably Spanked was even casted. I do know some people wanted the viewmodels also edited - that’s an additional 200 something textures. We edited about 120 VTF textures, including attaching Scout’s normals to each VMT and Medic’s backpacks.
By the way, client-side skins and promotional materials will be going up soon when I get the chance to upload them!
The Wachowski siblings, once considered revolutionary filmmakers for their work on The Matrix, recently released a baffling sci-fi/fantasy opus Jupiter Ascending, of which the nicest thing you can say is that it was an ambitious flop.
As it turns out, it’s an ambitious flop that bit the style of another ambitious flop, one that broke the hearts of more young gamers than the Power Glove: Super Mario Bros.
No, really. The protagonists of both films have jobs centered around toilets, and both movies involve a character who is secretly the princess of another world, who at one point has things explained to them by an older woman with a very tall hairdo while they’re wearing a fancy purple dress.
In both films, the princess is kidnapped by a pair of goons working for the villain, both films randomly take the time to explain what happened to the dinosaurs - even going so far as to include dinosaur henchmen for the main villain.
This makes sense when your movie is based on a video game, but is much more jarring when your film is an original work meant to world-build a new franchise.