Okay fam. The hawks got this. I can feel it. Im not giving up and neither should you guys. I still believe in them and they can do this. They been on this position before. Everyone stay positive all day today so that this positivity carries into the game. Let’s go Hawks!!! #OneGoal
Capitals vs Leafs Round 1 Game 4 summary:
- ft ovie for the first .5 seconds
- Tom Wilson: America’s Sweetheart and new goaltender for the Washington Capitals
- fuck off brooks orpik
- National Crime™ against Nate Schmidt and Nicklas Backstrom
- oshbabe saves our souls from OT
You tug the thick
manila folder from the stack of files. File #666, marked as “resolved.” You
take it from the storage and back to your cubicle. Ruminate over the case a
bit. In a strange, twisted way, it’s funny: for months, members of the department
had been making bets and dark-humored jokes about what the six hundredth and
sixth case would be. Would it be bizarre? Or something more commonplace?
When case #665
turned out to be the kidnapping of twenty-six schoolchildren and gained
international attention, speculations for case #666 grew exponentially. A mass
murder. A mysterious outbreak. Or maybe someone would actually manage to summon
And yet, after all
the debates and guesses, case #666 turned out to be a double suicide attempt.
It’s uncommon—of course, but it was underwhelming compared to all the
expectations it had garnered. You lay the folder on your desk before taking a
seat. Two college students. Roommates. Park Jimin and Kim Taehyung. You review
their profiles, just to make sure that nothing’s been changed.
Nothing has, as
According to the
case file, one of them was a blogger—Jimin, you think—and a link to the blog is
hastily scribbled on the bottom corner of the folder:
“Boss, there’s a bit of cargo missing from our last shipment.”
Yoongi doesn’t even look up from the paperwork on his desk; the only acknowledgement the messenger receives is an ever-slight twitch of an eyebrow.
Seriously, Yoongi thinks, people should know better than to disturb him when he’s this deep in work. Or in general, really. Where the hell was his damned secretary when he needed them? He’s really starting to regret giving them a vacation–for two weeks, which, in his line of work, is a lot–because Yoongi would very much like someone redirecting these miserable underlings to the right people and keeping pests out of his office. Like, for example, this one right now.
“I don’t care,” Yoongi nearly growls out, continue to read the papers in front of him. “Tell that to J-Hope. Now get out.”
Dutifully, the man backs out of the office, shutting the door meekly. Yoongi lets out a huff.
Unfortunately for him, the rest of the day is not any better. One annoyance after another appears before him in his office, pulling Yoongi from his ever-precious concentration.
“Boss, how do you load this gun again?”
“Boss, there’s been a scuffle in District 3…”
“Boss, where’s the location of our downtown rendezvous spot?”
On the verge of a meltdown, Yoongi harshly dismisses the person from his office and promptly takes out a Rice Krispie treat. He’s hungry. Needs sustenance. Something to bite and tear apart that isn’t a human.
And, because the universe officially hates him, his door busts open again. Fuck that door and its broken lock.
“Yoon–I mean, Boss, are you in a Rice Krispie mood today?”
Yoongi gives an utterly unamused look at the intruder. Two, actually. Jungkook and his mentor, Taehyung.
Taehyung makes a disatisfied noise and pushes Jungkook slightly back. “No, no. You gotta say: ’sup Boss, what’s crisp?”
“You gotta communicate in memes,” Taehyung says, seriously. “You can’t just ask him directly.”
“Oh,” Jungkook says, nodding. His hand twitches and Yoongi knows that he’s just dying to whip out a notepad and jot down notes.
“Get out.” Yoongi discards the shiny foil wrapper in the almost-full wastebasket next to his desk.
“Aw, that’s so mean,” Taehyung says, almost cooing. Yoongi wrinkles his nose in disgust. “You’re kicking us out before you even hear what we have to say!”
“Whatever it is, I don’t care.”
“I think you will,” Jungkook says. Yoongi narrows his eyes.
“Listen up, kid,” he says. “You nee–”
“_______ has gone missing.”
“–What?” Yoongi jolts up and stares, wide-eyed, at the mention of your name. His earlier annoyance is immediately replaced with panic and rage. “What do you mean missing? I swear to fucking god, I literally had an entire team of people watching out for her! How can she go missing? There’s no fucking way–where? Any leads?” He is met with blank stares. Taehyung tentatively holds his hands up in surrender.
“Um, we’re just uh, the messengers. Know about as much as you do.”
Yoongi lets out a frustrated noise. He loosens his tie, gets up out of his chair. “Call in the team,” he barks, already beginning to pace across his office feverishly. “We need to investigate this now.”
“On it, Boss.”
And the duo leave, with Taehyung smirking just as he slips out the door. Yoongi doesn’t notice and Taehyung’s fine with that; he’s content with the utter amusement of how fast Yoongi can go from 0-100 at the mention of a single person.
Gay former Ontario Hockey League player disappointed in Ryan Getzlaf
Brock McGillis couldn’t hide his disappointment when he heard Ryan Getzlaf’s statement after the Anaheim Ducks captain was punished for apparently using a homophobic slur during an NHL playoff game.
Getzlaf was fined US$10,000 by the NHL a few hours before the Nashville Predators beat Anaheim 3-1 on Saturday night in Game 5 of the Western Conference final. Getzlaf appeared to shout the inappropriate remark in frustration with an official after returning to Anaheim’s bench in Thursday’s Game 4. Officials appeared to be too far away to hear Getzlaf, but television cameras were trained directly on him.
“There was obviously some words said, not necessarily directed at anyone in particular,” said Getzlaf late Saturday night. "It was just kind of a comment. I’ve got to be a little bit more responsible for the words I choose. It’s tough to see someone refer to it as (homophobic). I didn’t mean it in that manner in any way.
“I understand that it’s my responsibility to not use vulgar language, period, whether it’s a swear word or whatever it is. We’ve got to be a little bit more respectful of the game, and that’s up to me.”
McGillis, who played in the Ontario Hockey League and semi-professionally, became an advocate for LGBTQ rights, addressing schools throughout Ontario, after he came out in November. He had hoped Getzlaf would take the opportunity to educate other players about how homophobia has no place in hockey.
“I don’t care how you mean it, when you say the word, it’s a homophobic slur,” said McGillis in a phone interview with The Canadian Press. “He doesn’t sound, in my opinion, very apologetic. He’s comparing what he said to a curse word and he didn’t apologize to the LGBTQ community or take ownership of his actions. That’s quite disappointing.”
Getzlaf’s fine is the maximum allowable under the league’s collective bargaining agreement with the NHLPA, but McGillis says he does not think it was severe enough.
He notes that as the Ducks forward has made millions of dollars over the course of his 12 year career, the $10,000 dollar fine isn’t especially punitive. Instead, he hopes that the NHL, its players, and other sports leagues try to engage and educate adolescent players before homophobic, racist or sexist language is ingrained in their pscyhes.
“(Getzlaf) is a social influencer, he is a superstar hockey player and he has an opportunity to do some good things,” said McGillis. "I think that if these athletes continue to just donate money they’re missing the boat because that’s not going to shift the culture and that’s going to lead to more and more incidents like this.“
You Can Play Project, an advocacy group dedicated to eliminating homophobia in sports, also criticized Getzlaf before Saturday’s game.
"Words matter and Ryan Getzlaf’s words are offensive. No language considered homophobic belongs in sports. It’s not the language of role models. This is yet another opportunity to educate athletes, teams and fans,” tweeted the organization that was founded by Philadelphia Flyers scout Patrick Burke and his father, Calgary Flames president Brian Burke.
Getzlaf’s punishment was particularly disappointing to McGillis because last season Chicago Blackhawks forward Andrew Shaw was suspended a game and fined $5,000 for using a homophobic slur and making obscene gestures toward officials in the first round of the playoffs.
“It seems like it’s almost backwards,” said McGillis. "We took a step back for equality and for hockey to be a safe space for everybody.“
Earlier this week, the Toronto Blue Jays suspended centre-fielder Kevin Pillar for two games for directing a homophobic slur toward Atlanta Braves pitcher Jason Motte.
"If anyone in a regular field of work were to use that type of language they would lose their job,” said McGillis. "I’m not saying either of the players should lose their jobs, because it’s a mistake and it happens. However, I don’t think the penalty is harsh enough.“
McGillis said he had "incredible” support from the hockey community when he came out. He advises any young person struggling with their sexual orientation to find peace within themselves so that homophobic language doesn’t cut as deep.
“You have to learn to accept and love yourself because when you learn to love yourself these words won’t have as much power over you. The thoughts and the opinions of other people won’t affect you the same way they currently do,” said McGillis. “I’m so desensitized to those words they don’t have the affect. When I hear a professional athlete say them I say ‘good, this is an opportunity’ whereas before I would have hid and thought I was horrible.”
“Hm?” Said man doesn’t bother looking up from his phone. He lounges comfortably on the couch, one leg hanging off the side and his back propped up with a pillow.
“Why is there a plane in my backyard.” It’s a statement, not a question. A demand that must be answered.
“It’s not just any plane, baby,” he says, still scrolling through his phone. “It’s a Boeing-777.”
“I know,” you say, putting a hand on your hip. “That’s a commercial plane. It’s ubiquitous.”
“So then why are you so surprised to see it, if it’s so common?”
“Because it’s in my backyard.”
Finally, he looks up. “What? Your backyard’s huge, you know. It’s going to be an ass to drive the plane back onto the road though… On the other hand, I must say, that street in front of your house makes a hell of a landing strip.”
He’s acting too nonchalant about this and you’re not following. “You drove a plane down my street and parked it in my backyard.”
He meets your gaze unfalteringly. “Yes. Do you want me to move it? I really don’t know where I could put it, though… If I left it in the street all the drivers would get kinda mad…”
“Why do you have a plane and why did you even fly it here?”
At that, he throws his phone onto the coffee table. It makes a clattering noise. “Oh baby,” he says, opening up his arms, beckoning you to come over to give him a hug. You raise a brow and stay put next to the counter. He pouts. “I was out of the country and I missed you. Had to get here as soon as possible.”
“So you flew a plane,” you say, still disbelieving. “Since when could you even fly a plane? Aren’t you just some CEO? I never knew you were a pilot.”
“I’m not,” he says. “I was merely a passenger. It was just me and the pilot.”
“You–you got a pilot to fly a commercial plane and–and–” God, this makes no sense at all–”Where’s the pilot?”
“Went home. I hailed a cab for him–he lives the next town over. It’s fine.”
“Waitbu–what?” You tug at your hair, distressed. Namjoon and his world of endless money has always been a concept you’ve had trouble grasping. Especially now. He waves his arms in the air, still trying to coax you into his embrace. You stay put. He sighs.
“Ever heard of United Airlines?”
You roll your eyes. “Of course, ever since they beat up that Chinese doctor–”
“Well I bought it.”
“–saying it was ‘overbooked’–wait what?” You don’t think you heard him right. “Did you just–did you just say you bought an airline?”
Namjoon shrugs, finally gets up from the couch and tugs you into his embrace. Contentedly, he nuzzles your cheek. “Mhm.”
“It was failing,” he says, matter-of-factly. “And I needed to get to you as soon as possible. C’mon babygirl, you know how I get when you’re not around. Feels like ‘m dying.”
“You’re so dramatic. You bought an entire airline. Please tell me you’re going to create a bunch of reforms and stuff in regards to customer treatment and such.”
“Oh trust me, I will,” he murmurs, into the hollow of your throat. Your breath catches. “Anything else?”
“W-Wha? N-Not that I can think of?”
He purrs and hugs you tighter. “Well just let me know when you do think of something,” he says, lips on the shell of your ear. “Because for you, I’d do anything.”