game of thrones jokes

  • Arya: So... What do you do when you like a boy? Asking for a friend.
  • Sansa: Laugh at his jokes. Oh, and you should do a little twirl when you leave the room and make sure he watches you walk away.
  • Arya: That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.
  • Later, as Arya grins like a fool:
  • Sansa, smirking: Did you twirl?
  • Arya: ...
  • Arya: Yes.
  • Gendry to Arya: I thought this was going to be a casual one-night stand? But maybe it could be a casual... one thousand-night stand. Maybe we could keep casually having sex, and then casually have kids together, and then casually grow old together. Casually get on each other’s health insurance. Then casually die side by side like in the end of The Notebook.

sansa stark meme; 5/5 relationships: brienne of tarth
“lady sansa, i offer my services once again. i will shield your back and keep your counsel and give my life for yours if need be. i swear it by the new gods and the new. and i vow that you shall always have a place by my hearth and meat and mead at my table. and i pledge to ask no service of you that might bring you dishonour. i swear it by the old gods and the new. arise. i trust you with my life.

Brienne was crying, clutching her robe when suddenly she heard horse hooves behind her. She turned to see Jaime come back, smiling.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, voice heavy as he got off his horse. He swallowed nervously at her glare, he’d never seen her cry and this was heartbreaking, “Brienne-“

“Why would you do that?!” She snapped, and rightfully so.

“Brienne, please. I came back because this isn’t written by those guys. I was acting way out of character! It doesn’t make sense for me to just leave you and actually go for C*rsei!”

Brienne sniffed. The North was freezing cold and she was only armed with a robe. She had rushed out to stop her dumbass boyfriend from leaving, which symbolized how vulnerable she was because cinematography, “wait. So you weren’t just lying so I wouldn’t follow you to save you?”

“It sounds crazy, especially since I jumped into a bear pit to save you, lost my hand in consequence to stop you from getting assaulted, gave you a Valerian steel sword that my father made for me, made you a knight, and then awkwardly flirted and took your virginity. But yeah, I was meant to run away to C*rsei, tell her only she mattered, try and escape with her, and get crushed under a building.”

“Jaime, that sounds really out of character.”

“It is. If that happened, it’d be like throwing away my entire story development over the last few years to make my incestuous relationship seem like a crack addiction.”

“And it’d make you seem like a fuccboi for sleeping with me and then leaving, which is out of character even more since Oathkeeper represents your heart, which you said was mine and always mine.”

“Well, it’s a good thing that I never went back to my crazy sister who ordered the Mountain to kill me, slept with heaps of other men and hated me for getting my hand chopped off.”

“Sure is. It’s cold out here, want to go back inside and do it?”

“Oh totally.”

“I know that she spent her childhood in exile, impoverished, living on dreams and schemes, running from one city to the next, always fearful, never safe, friendless but for a brother who was by all accounts half-mad…a brother who sold her maidenhood to the Dothraki for the promise of an army. I know that somewhere upon the grass, her dragons hatched, and so did she. I know she is proud. How not? What else was left her but pride? I know she is strong. How not? The Dothraki despise weakness. If Daenerys had been weak, she would have perished with Viserys. I know she is fierce. Astapor, Yunkai and Meereen are proof enough of that. She has survived assassins and conspiracies and fell sorceries, grieved for a brother and a husband and a son, trod the cities of the slavers to dust beneath her dainty sandaled feet.”
      - Tyrion Lannister (A Dance with Dragons) by George R.R. Martin