game pick ups

I had a dream that I faked a video Game. Like I just made up vague facts and a concept for a game and it’s upcoming release, and people went wild for it and started getting excited for when it would come out. I had set up a fake indie developer website for it, a Twitter that I had loaded with followers through bots, and made a bunch of fake promo images and a fake trailer and eventually game news sites began picking up on it. And after a year of carefully grooming hype for it and convincing everyone it’s real through word of mouth and fake previews, Nintendo contacted me and said they wanted it on their console and I said yes, and then I went to E3 for announcements, told everyone it was all fake, and Reggie grew 40 feet tall and killed me

7

My first attempt at Clexa crack

Edit: since this post has gotten way more attention than I was anticipating I feel the need to say this: the ‘High five Indra’ is completely stolen!! But it’s so good, I think it should be a thing.

Jack:  *gives insightful commentary on the way people think and act*

Jack:  *deconstructs the themes and mechanics of video games*

Jack:  *picks up on subtext and foreshadowing*

Jack:  *solves puzzles while actively making witty remarks*

Jack:  *overlooks an item*

YouTube Comments:  “wow jack is really stupid”

Mom Friend

Ok but imagine how the aliens would react to the idea of the “mom friend”. Like the crew is losing their mind over the fact their human is reckless, doing so many dangerous things that would have killed any other race but of course it’s fine because it’s a human and those things are so hard to kill anyway.

The only planet that is a danger to a human is the one it came from.

So when the human-Kat comes into the control room with that adorable hopeful face a lot of the crew members are instantly on guard. The last time Human-Kat had that expression they almost lost Xe'rex to the waves of that one planet that Human-Kat just had to “Surf”.

“Can my friend Lola come meet us for the 34-OJ mission? She’s right in our pathway to that new planet? Please?” Huamn-Kat says and though they want nothing more then to say no, the crew of 626- Launch can’t say anything else other then yes.  They know how humans react when left alone for too long. Humans claim that their greatest criminals are placed in “solitary confinement” as punishment which goes very far to show how much bonds affect their life spans.

Human-Kat needs human interaction to stay alive and sane (or as sane as humans can be)

So the crew  agrees to have Friend-Lola on the voyage, slightly terrified of having two humans. But when the new human arrives it is not what they expected.

“Kat, have you finished your paperwork? Come on man, you know it’s due in like a day. Get on it.”

“Whoa dude, I love you ok. But no. You are not going to go surfing down there. It’s for your own good.”

“Girl you got the promotion?! Yes! Ok Ok! We need to celebrate with girls night in!”

“Hey I have some tissues in my bag somewhere hold on. There ya go.”

“Look at this game I picked up on RE-vr’. It’s just like Cards against Humanity but space!”

“Go. To. Sleep. Kat.”

“Remember that pact we made in high school? The one where I would stop you from doing something that will get you arrested or killed? Yeah well I’m calling it into action and saying that you do not lick anything on a unknown planet!“ 

This Human…holds common sense? That is possible for that race?!

After Friend-Lola leaves they ask Human-Kat about this and she merely laughs while swiping through photographs she had taken with the other human.

"Well Lola is the mom friend.”

And the crew of 626-Luanch are so confused because they have already seen photos of Human-Kat’s birth givers and they look nothing alike not to mention Human-Kat already has a Mom. Do humans have more then one “Mom”?

“Oh you know a mom friend is the one friend in a group that keeps everyone else from dying.” Human-Kat jokes.

But the crew is amazed. They have learn the reason humanity haven’t killed itself off. They send a message to every out post in the area.

If xe have a human on-board make sure that they are accompanied by a Mom Friend. These are the humans in charge of keeping other humans alive and well-behaved. 

headcanon: andrew hates bugs

+ like loathes them
+ specifically centipedes and spiders because “nothing should have that many legs”
+ every time he sees a bug in his home he flinches, backs away, and tells it to fuck off for good measure
+ and then continues to COMPLETELY ignore the spot of the house it’s in until he’s sure it’s bound to be gone
+ once he didn’t go near the toaster in the corner of the kitchen for eight straight days because there was a spider living there and he refused to ask neil to kill it
+ the only reason he ended up going back is because neil finally decided to check out what was wrong
+ found the spider and smashed it with a shoe
+ which he had to physically show to andrew
+ who kept insisting the spider had nothing to do with it
+ neil knows better than to ask about it
+ the same cannot be said for nicky, defender of all bugs who also squeals every time he sees them
+ one day he asks andrew about the thing with the bugs even though kevin and neil both shot him looks that clearly said “don’t ask”
+ of course nicky asks
+ andrew just ignores him at first and pointedly directs his attention to kevin to call him stupid for something
+ and nicky’s like, “they’re not doing anything wrong andrew they’re just bugs”
+ “first of all, they are unwelcome guests in my home, just like yourself”
+ “second, legs.”
+ nicky and kevin leave not too long after because now andrew is in an even more sour mood and neil isn’t even /trying/ to help
+ later neil asks andrew about it
+ because he’s curious and also he finds it kind of endearing
+ (because scary andrew is afraid of BUGS and that boy is nothing if not a collection of endless surprises neil aches to understand)
+ he expects andrew to brush off the topic or ignore him
+ he doesn’t
+ instead andrew has this expression that can be explained as nothing other than “disgruntled”
+ “the legs”
+ hes practically grinding his teeth when he says it, like it’s something personally offensive
+ “nothing can get away with having that many legs /and/ breaking and entering.”
+ “one is a personal attack on me and my person and my home. the other is a felony”
+ neil CANNOT stop smiling
+ he kills every bug in the house without question after that

4

I picked up Binding of Isaac Afterbirth+ for the Switch today! this is my first time trying this title (despite it coming out on every other platform to date)! And to my surprise - this one is packed with a manual and stickers! The manual is full color and sports some beautiful pieces of art. The whole thing is very reminiscent of the old SNES manuals, which is great!

We have the eyes and ears of the Hulu people!

We need to keep their attention which means tweeting, emailing, and SENDING PHYSICAL LETTERS AND/OR BASEBALL CARDS.We have to show them that we are serious about this.

We want to play for their team.

This is our tryout!

Let’s go!!!

Create a trial account if you have to so that you can cast your vote. Let’s use this time that Dan is out of the country to make our case.

Lastly, watch Pitch on Hulu so that when they collect data the proof will be there. We got this Pitches.

please consider

andreil forehead kisses

ALERT: PITCH IS AN ALL-TIME POPULAR SHOW IN HULU SPORTS

PITCHES, 

Pitch is in ALL of the Popular Pages for Sports on Hulu. THIS IS NOT A DRILL!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!! Your streaming matters!!!!! It is making a difference!!!!!! GOOD WORK TEAM!!!!!! 

Popular Today:

Popular This Week: 

Popular This Month:

Popular All Time:

POPULAR:

Keep Streaming!!!! They will continue to take notice the longer we keep it popular and send them mail! 

LET’S GO WIN THIS WORLD SERIES! LET’S GO!!