The Doctor and his Gallifrey
  • 9th Doctor:It was a beautiful place, Rose. We were the best planet ever. I'm so devastated all that greatness is gone now.
  • 10th doctor:Meh, okay, we had some effed up initiation rituals that drove the Master insane, but other than that, it was a beautiful, wonderful place.
  • 10th doctor a little later:Okay, FINE. They got corrupt and Rassilon was a dick. (but at one point it was great)
  • 11th doctor:OKAY OKAY OKAY. They were all always corrupt assholes. But they're my people and I wanna go home.
  • 12th doctor:Ya'll are a bunch of dicks. Now I remember why I wanted to leave in the first place. DOCTOR OUT.
the doctor's ever changing opinion of gallifrey/timelords
  • one:fuck dese guys I'm out
  • two:wow my life's great now, can't believe I spent 200 years on that god forsaken orange rock, without jamie too!!
  • three:you know what idc that u pompous arseholes banished me to earth, I got da brig with me and let me tell you something they don't have moustache's like that on gallifrey
  • four:first u accuse me of treason and now you want me for president,oh my daze you guys are such nerds, jelly baby?
  • five:wtf omega!?!
  • six:you killed peri! then fragmented her in to 5 different versions of herself, you guys are fucked up, stay away from my humans!
  • seven:shit man... me, the master and the rani, used to be so cool back at the academy, like the ultimate squad y'know, now we all so damn fucked up, that's what gallifrey does to innocent childrens
  • eight:take the master's jiggly sperm back to gallifey they said, it'll be fine they said
  • war:haha GALLIFREY STANDS bitches, totally keeping this jacket as a memento
  • nine:well I'm just going to have to cover up my severe psd with immense sass, any way it's not all bad at least I have rose she's great, although somehow she reminds me of the time war and why am I still wearing the jacket that I wore when my planet burned?!?
  • ten:well the thing is martha its like every story about a kid who wants to get out of their small town but then ends up missing it, except the kid is 900 years old, the small town is an entire planet and the kid ends up committing the genocide of his own species
  • eleven:yay!! my people are back they are actually alive and I can go home, this is the best thing ever!! two tics clara I need stand on a cloud with me, myself and I and stare at this beautiful planet full of my problematic faves
  • twelve:the bae is dead and its probably your fault!! my hybrid valeyard arse has smashed on some glass for two billion years to get here and get my revenge, I told you to stay away from my humans!! and clara and peri both have scattered lives, way to rub it in. jeeze I can't believe I was so thirsty for you two hearted cunts to come back
All classic hallmarks of a “Gallifrey” episode

Really, this episode had all the things I look for in a story set on Gallifrey:

  • Rassilon being a dick
    • …Rassilon being played by a different actor with absolutely ZERO explanation, as per long tradition
  • A stazer pistol
    • …a real, proper stazer pistol
    • …a real, properly rubbish-looking stazer pistol
  • Stupid hats
    • …I especially like the white skull caps on the technicians in the Extraction chamber.
    • …speaking of: I know a Time Scoop when I see one, guys. You can’t fool me.
  • Time Lords being ineffectual
    • …everyone standing around uselessly while the Doctor saunters in and proceeds to do exactly whatever the hell he wants
  • Goofy looking Chancellery Guard uniforms
    • …the Guard being exactly as effective as a fighting/security force as they have always been
    • …which is to say, not at all.
  • The Matrix! Complete with Matrix ghosts!
    • …an explanation of The Matrix that is 100% accurate to Classic Who canon
    • …and still makes no more sense than it did the first time.
    • …Stupid “Mainframe computer / Afterlife / pocket dimension / timeline prophecy generator” macguffin {grumbles}
  • Are those Outsiders I spy?
    • …back-to-the-land, technology-renouncing Outsiders, possibly?
    • …Ah, and Citadel Time Lords looking down on the residents of the Outlands as “people who don’t matter”: Nice to see that Time Lord elitism and arrogance are alive and well.
  • The Sisterhood of Karn!
    • …Can the High Priestess of Karn be in every episode? I like her.
    • …”Oh, I heard the Doctor was back and I couldn’t miss the opportunity to watch him ruin the Time Lords’ day and wreck their stuff. I’m just here to watch. I brought popcorn.”
  • Referring to the Doctor’s childhood! 
    • …without actually revealing anything meaningful about the Doctor’s childhood!
  • Referring to the “Doctor is / is not half human” debate!
    • …without actually confirming or denying anything conclusive about the “half human” debate!

Oh, and for the record: If you ask me, no way that woman in the barn was the Doctor’s mother. Most likely, she was simply the matron / caretaker at some kind of Gallifreyan boys orphanage. Small outside chance that she’s a surviving cousin of the House of Lungbarrow.


the sound of drums // heaven sent 
“it was beautiful. they used to call it the shining world of the seven systems. and on the continent of wild endeavour, in the mountains of solace and solitude, there stood the citadel of the time lords, the oldest and most mighty race in the universe, looking down on the galaxies below.”