The Signs as Strange Shit Found in Space
Aries: LGQ; BIG AS SHIT. REALLY BIG. DEFIES THE LAWS OF STANDARD PHYSICS. SCIENTISTS ARE BAFFLED. ITS FUCKING STRANGE.
Taurus: Galactic Cannibalism; where galaxies literally devour each other. Those savages.
Gemini: Gliese 581 c; May be a candidate for future colonization. Only thing is that one side will melt your face off and the other will freeze you to death :). But there is a little strip in the middle that is a-okay.
Cancer: Universe’s largest water reservoir; contains 140 trillion times more water than Earth, makes a kick-ass water slide. Also a big ass black hole :/
Leo: The Diamond Planet; pretty self-explanatory, worth 29.2 nonillion dollars. Take that Bill Gates.
Virgo: The Cold Star; thinks its the shit, really aint. Our sun is hot af and this star is only 80 degrees. That’s a regular day in LA basically.
Libra: El Gordo Galaxy; Spanish for “the fat one”. Has a lot of galaxies in there.
Scorpio: The Planet of Burning Ice; its literally an ice ball that is literally on fire.
Sagittarius: Sagittarius B2; basically a fucking huge cloud that is “a giant river of raspberry-flavored rum”
Capricorn: Dark Energy; we don’t know what the fuck it is that’s why its called “dark” energy. it’s making the universe expand faster. how? we don’t know. just does its own thang.
Aquarius: White Holes; the opposite of black holes, may be the key to time travel. Only exists in theory.
Pisces: Pillars of Creation; makes little star babies (✿◠‿◠)