STAN: Oh! I got a bunch of stuff! CRAIG: My present was the best. KYLE: Didn’t you get him a pack of gum? CRAIG: Eighteen packs of gum. Because I’m creative. STAN: How did you even know I liked spearmint? CRAIG: Lucky guess. CRAIG: And it wasn’t for nothing. CRAIG: It was for the drinking. I did the same for quitting smoking. STAN: Yeah dude, it was really sweet!
STAN: And Kyle got us matching necklaces! KYLE: Stan’s has a luggage lock and the key, and mine also has a key. KYLE: It’s supposed to represent unlocking our baggage, stuff like that. KYLE: It made more sense when I first explained it. CRAIG: It’s still gay as all hell.
But they bring their boys up different there, it's culturally diverse! It's not a fashion curse-
If he wears a kilt or bears a purse. Gay or just exotic? I still can't crack the code...
Yet his accent is hypnotic, but his shoes are pointy toed.
Huh...Gay or European? So many shades of gray-
But if he turns out straight, I'm free at 8 on Saturday ;)
Is he gay or European? Gay or European? Gay or Euro-
Wait a minute! Give me a chance to crack this guy- I have an idea I'd like to try.
The floor is yours.
So Mr. Fischbach...this alleged affair with Ms. Nelson has been going on for...?
And your first name again is...?
And your boyfriend's name is...?
[stammers] I'm sorry! I misunderstood! You said boyfriend? I thought you said best friend! Jack is my best friend.
You bastard! You lying bastard! That's it! I'm not covering for you anymore! People, I have a big announcement- This man is gay AND European!
And neither is his place. You've got to stop your being a completely closet case! It's me, not her, he's seeing- no matter what he says, I swear he never, ever, EVER swings the other way! [angrily points to Mark] You are so gay, you big parfait, you flaming boy in cabaret-
You were not yesterday. [winks] So if I may, I'm proud to say- he's gay!