ga$h

2P!Russia Boyfriend Headcanons

((okay ive gotten  shit ton of passive aggressive asks for him and china and romano they’re cOmIng PatienNce ples. ))


  • hi hello is this thing on yes thaNK YOU WELCOME FOLKS
  • TO THE BRAGINSKY BOYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS *eight grader airhorn
  • app*
  • okay it jus one boy
  • ur boi
  • ;)))))))))
  • VIKTOR BRAGINSKY
  • wowie what a man
  • such a tol boi i mean are you short????
  • are you tall??
  • it doesn’t matter
  • he;ll do it all
  • like i can see him in sweater vests and button ups and his lil scarf for some reason just with you on his shoulders mounting a paper plate on the wall because he’s fucking weird as hecke
  • oKAY SORRY GETTING OFF TOPIC AGAIN
  • ALRIGHT
  • SO
  • YOU GOT A RUSSIAN BITCH BABY
  • he wont cry if you call him that dont worry he isn’t a shark he’ll just snark
  • WOO ON PAR WITH THE RHYMES TODAY I AM A RAP GODD KACHOW
  • he m e mes im so sorry,,,,,
  • like he’s such a fucking dad it’s never funny they’re all from 2009 and you’re probably cringing but he thinks its funny and he doesn’t have a visible sense of humour so you chuckle and tell him that that cat in the ceiling is hilarious
    - “how did he get up there heh sillyy cat”  
     " :,<)) gee bab e i dunno aha h ahA" *scrapes teeth along cheese grater*
  • i havent even explained oh me oh m y
  • dearest apologies friends
  • viktor is seen by most as tall, dark, and mysterious (spoiler: he is),,,
  • i see him, also, as this , like, almost snobby quiet guy?? that was brought up sheltered from the outside world?? ya dig??
  • like
  • he doesn’t suck a whole bunch, he’s just inexperienced
  • he loves to read and write and is a pacifist ((so you could sayy,,,, he wanted to write, not fight,,,, ive already made three im so sorry))
  • so,,, he does not want to fight with you, eve r
  • but he will not hesitate to tell you if he doesn’t like something you’re doing
    - my dude doesn’t have time for fuckery
    - unless it’s meant to be fun
    - like,,,
    - he doesn’t want to be mean, but he doesn’t like that you are being mean, ya dig??????
  • anyway
  • so the dude is like Ivan, just harder??? like physically and emotionally
  • he’s been very distanced from people his whole life, so he comes off as rather blunt, crude, and cold,,
  • m'bOI DOESNT WANT TO SCARE YOU OFF WITH HIS INTIMIDATING AURA;;;
  • HE WANTS UR LUV
    UR LUV IS HIS DRUG
  • im sorry it’s not 2011 anymore someone drag me from this pit
  • he is like francois and kuro;;;;; he likes romanticism
  • he also likes quiet
  • so gentle, quiet dates at home are his favourite
  • he isn’t one for social interaction,,,
  • but if you really wanna, then he will go !
  • he really likes ballet and opera and classy things
  • my dude will d r a g you to recitals and performances all the time
  • he’s a theater nerd
  • HE’S LIKE THAT ONE DRAMA KID NO ONE EXPECTED
  • you can hear him humming to les mis while he reads and francois hating the room a little bit less because of it
  • i feel like he’s actually so ripped but if his skin touched sunlight he would be banished to sibera
    - welcome home comrade
  • he likes,, soft
    - if you have a soft body he has a new pillow and a lead head
    - rip @ur thighs they are asleep
  • he and francois go to poetry slams often and he wants you to come too so he knows someone
  • he will lift you
  • unexpectedly
  • anywhere
  • if you are in the way you’re on the ceiling now bye
    like,,, you are i n the spot he needs to vaccuum at that exact second right then all the time what the hecke he just mopped and you’re s t an di n g
    i n
    th e f ll oor with your s OCKs
  • yOU were just in the Ga Ra ge you H e ck  Er
  • you’re on the chandelier now
  • no you’re not he needs to dust up there get down what the fuck e
    Swifter no Sweeping™ !!
  • he is ur mom and ur dad
  • did u do ur laundry?????????????? no?????????????? good he already did like seven weeks ago catch the fuck up
    “honey where are the ??? bills???”
    “i did them approximately eighteen billion years ago? get on my level?”
  • he speaks to you *and only you* in a friendly joking way
  • he speaks fluent sarcasm to everyone
    - if you aren’t familiar with the language you will be the first day into the relationship
  • t o u c h this boy he needs your touch like he needs a  i  r
  • he will most likely complain but he is a dirty liar
  • the dude’s hair is messy 24/7 but it looks  so,,, good,,,,

  • he’s an early riser but hates waking up which is The Worst™
    - he’s got breakfast ready at 3AM tho

  • read to him! he will Die

  • if you know russian he will never speak english to you again it’s settled
    -if you don’t you will never speak english again it’s settled, he’s teaching
    boy howdy would he be a sexy teacher holy fuck

  • i feel like his ass is so firm it could crush coconuts between its cheeks
    - its its own entity

  • he unfortunately is good friends with Zao and is unfortunately dragged on unfortunate events all the time, unfortunately,,,
    - save him
    - he is a cry for help

  • he goes on trips a lot and no on knows why? like sometimes he’s gone and then he’s back and everyone is like????? where go??
    - “i was in wales. doing things.”
    “hey sorry im late i didnt want to come”

  • he sometimes calls you in the middle of the night when he wakes up from a nightmare, but most of the time if you dont answer he’ll just listen to your voicemail so he knows you’re still there

  • aAAAAAAA WHAT A SALTY BEAN

  • he gives a good ol’ massage
    - not the most empathetic but he isn’t apathetic either, he just isn’t the best comforter

  • i feel like he is vladimir putin and leisurely rides bears with matt

  • i dont understand him at all like he will be crying in his bathtub, bottle of whiskey and pure vodka mixed, watching Barbie in the Pink Shoes one second and on top of the empire state building with three pitbull bodyguards and a Gucci cigar
    - i don’t eventhink those exist but he has one??? he doesn’t even smoke that often??

  • looks super cute baking muffins in a pink apron at 4pm on a Tuesday

  • looks super cute gutting a fish on a rock in the siberian tundra at 4am on a Thursday

  • he always wears longsleeves but looks SO GOOD in short sleeves or tanks like FUCK

  • his sweaters hide his secrets but you can wear them so you know he used to want to be a cowboy when he was seven and b o u g h t a wax replica of indiana jones for his collection

  • he looks so damn good in a suit holy shit

  • i feel like he’s a tailor but only for dolls, its cute
    - he will make you origami things all the time idk why he is so good at them tho

  • he’ll wrap the two of you in a blanket burrito on a hot day and refuse to let go
    “get off my lawn”

  • youre dating a grandpa

  • he is kinda a sugar daddy tho, but he’s reserved and doesn’t wave it because he is an Adult McGrownUp

  • actually is probably a traffic conductor in his spare time, but only in andorra? on the weekends? that’s probably where he actually is

  • viktor lOves tobe called vitya and its probably as good as a daddy kink

  • clevverr, clevverrr boi

  • hs is a Good Boi i promise

  • will be ur angle or ur dev i l tho ;))

  • just ask and he’s urs

  • VIKTOR BRAGINSKY FOLKS
Ow!

Hurt my back…somehow…three days ago and it’s getting progressively worse. I’ve been ‘trying’ to pretend it doesn’t hurt, with the hope that it would just go away (by the way, it turns out that that doesn’t actually work, just in case you were wondering), but H saw me wincing when I got up out of my chair earlier. He says “Mom, what was that?” - Doh! I answer, “Gas?” Then H runs and tattles on me to Mr Lil! (that kid’s a big old nark!) I play it off, “I’m fiiiiiine!” (my husband just looks at me. Let me amend that, he gives me that look. That ‘I don’t believe you, my love, but I’m not going to call you a liar. Instead I’ll let you stubborn yourself into a hole’ look.)

Now? Now it’s spasming - I’m in more pain than ever - and I’m the only person in my house that’s still awake! I’ve got no one to help me up off this damn sofa. 

I live here now. Me and this sofa. This is my new home. 

The cats don’t care one little bit. No help, no sympathy, not one helping paw!

My stubborn self is well and truly in a hole (the hole being my sofa, just in case I’m not being clear).

goblintoast  asked:

Hey 💖

1. First impression: a very COOL PERSON VERY CHILL like zenyatta.:3c 
2. Truth is: YOU’RE SUPER FUCKING NICE AND COOL exactly liek zen.xD
3. How old do you look: I’m guessing??? 18 maybe??
4. Have you ever made me laugh: YES
5. Have you ever made me mad: nope not at all.xd
6. Best feature: YOUR HUMOR.
7. Have I ever had a crush on you: AAHHH nyope.xD
8. You’re my: FRIENDO!!!                                                                                       9. Name in my phone: uh??? 
10. Should you post this too? YEAHH BOIIIIIIIII

all the simple things

reynalypso | first meeting

For all that Reyna is a demigod whose entire life is determined by capital-f Fate, she’s not one to trust in destiny. It’s far too nebulous, far too shady, and practically impossible to pin down and get right. And given her nasty history with Venus, Reyna has pretty much determined that she thinks very little of fate and destiny, especially when it comes to love, and she’d very much prefer to be left out of matters concerning fate, destiny, and love for the foreseeable future.

Needless to say, she does not take it well when she winds up at Camp Half-Blood on some strange diplomacy mission because Apollo fucked up and Leo Valdez is back from the dead or whatever the hell is going on lately. But she’s spent too long as sole acting praetor to make Frank go alone, and figures it might potentially look bad for future relations between Greeks and Romans if she decides to bail. Anyway, she’ll be able to check in on Nico, if nothing else.

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