g: respite

Respite: playlist [listen here]

He’d been twenty-four, hot on the heels of pursuing a Masters degree in English and fresh out of his anger management courses at the insistence of his mother. He felt calm and confident. Almost cocky. The idea that he would piss away his entire life for the sake of some doe-eyed teenager twirling her hair was almost laughable.

Six years later, he would be wiser. Six years later, he would find out temptation weren’t short skirts and batted eyelashes. It was in the form of hazel eyes, an eager mind and a smile that could soothe the ice burn on even Ren’s soul.


So I’ve made a playlist for the wonderful Reylo fic (Respite) by the TALENTED  @waterlilyrose. If you guys haven’t read it yet, I highly recommend you checking out this fic (and her others). Also, if any of you have any song suggestions, please feel free to comment on this post so I can add the songs to my Spotify playlist. I need more songs to add! It’s incomplete and in need of some help. (: 


RK has been going to respite monthly with a licensed foster family since winter. She came back from there two weekends ago and was very off. DH picked her up and said the foster dad was “awkward” when he went to the house to pick up RK.

This past weekend she went to stay with the family she is going to move in with. When we started to pack up her meds, some conversation was had. RK mentioned that the respite home didn’t give her any medication for two days. However, there was no medication left in the pill box which created some questions. Foster mom wouldn’t pick up her phone and said she could only text. Okay. But then she was also very vague in the messages she sent. DH and I sat around on Friday night knowing something wasn’t right, but didn’t know what, and RK wasn’t here to ask.

RK came home last night and basically said that the parents were drinking a lot. That they stayed in a hotel because they were too drunk to drive (they were at a party less than two hours from home), but they didn’t have enough beds for everyone so RK slept on the floor. Too drunk to drive home, but okay to drive to the hotel? Probably not. She also said it’s not the first time it happened, and that she didn’t want to go back.

Good golly! I’m not a big drinker and never have been. We do have booze in the house, but I probably have one drink/month. DH has cheap beer on a weekly basis but we are talking 1-2 at a time. I’ve never been drunk in my life, and DH hasn’t been since I’ve known him (probably 8-9 years). I did question RK a bit to make sure she knew what the difference was between a drink and being drunk. I don’t know what her exposure to alcohol has been beyond our home. I had to report it, particularly as they told RK not to tell. I feel horrible for her but also for them. They have current placements and I have no idea how seriously CPS will take this. RK said they are mean when they drink so I’m guessing someone will press her for more information.

No more respite there. I feel so awful that she didn’t feel like she could tell us. She was supposed to spent next week there so we are looking to find a way to keep her with us without her or DS freaking out (they will both be out of school).

As I lay dying.

FM for next weekend’s respite called. 2 boys, 5 & 7. She’ll have had them for less than 3 weeks when they come to me. Her and her hubs have their wedding anniversary coming up, hence the need for respite.

Apparently the boys don’t have any major issues, other than a serious lack of structure. Think showers once a week, fend for yourself meals every night, never having to clean up after themselves or even brush their teeth. So I foresee a lot of standing over their shoulders constanly.

On the other hand, they take Melatonin every night so they sleep like a dream. Thank god. I can handle anything they can throw at me as long as I get enough sleep.

In the same breath she was talking about how busy her life is (special needs daughter, full time job, volunteering weekly, husband only home 2 nights a week). Oh and if all goes well can we set up an every other weekend (or more) planned respite?

I don’t know. Not trying to judge. But if you don’t have time to raise these kids, why did you say yes in the first place? I don’t think moving them from foster home to foster home every week or two is probably the healthiest thing for them considering they just came into care.

Anyway that may just be the bitchy sick me talking. Going back to bed, heavily medicated, now.

The boys go home tomorrow.

And I’m pretty relieved. They require almost constant supervision. You have to repeat the same commands like, “Don’t touch the tv”, 20 times before it sinks into their noggins. They constantly bicker and the concept of sharing is nonexistent. And the speech issues makes it so hard to communicate. I understand maybe every third word. Add in the struggle that is nap and bedtime….so ready for a good night sleep.

I don’t understand how their foster parents make it work with a newborn and both of them working full time outside of the home. So much respect.

I have cousins and daycare kids I watch frequently that are their ages. So I know some of their behaviors are totally normal and age appropriate. Some of the stuff though. Then again I’m hardly a child expert so who knows.

They are a lot of fun though. My dad especially enjoyed having some boys around to do “guy stuff” with, which for the most part consisted of playing catch and watching football. Lots of giggles and surprises. It was never a dull moment with them around.

I just declined a respite placement. Part of me wished I could have said yes, but really, I need to pull out of this funk before I do take another placement. I didn’t feel bad declining because they aren’t LGBTQI, and the youth has a permanent placement. There are homes specially for respite. I’m not one of them; I’m more of a “bridge home,” being there to be an interim placement and working closely with parents or relatives. (Mostly relatives.)


#respite ✨🌿🌲

Made with Instagram


I’m having my first respite foster child here next weekend! The agency just called to ask if I would be available. No forethought for the fact it’s my first kid.. wasn’t even mentioned. Just told me that two social workers would be on call all weekend if I needed anything.

Not much else I feel comfortable writing on the internet… but.. safe to say I am kind of shitting myself?

She sits at the top of the spiral staircase
Overlooking the street
Bent up like a hook on her elbows
She looks down at her feet

The evening air is warm on her body
What is she thinking tonight?
Sat at the top of her staircase
Quiet evening respite

I’d love to climb up, sit there with her
We would say not a word
Two warm souls sat in peaceful reflection 
Overlooking the world