The anatomy of a cow poem, or ‘bredlik’

The poem is generally first person and begins with “My name is…”, unless part of a series; series are structured as dialogues.

Cow poems are in strict iambic dimeter.

A cow poem has the scheme *A*A*B*B.

The cow stanza is a 6-line stanza followed by a 2-line ‘punchline’, varying on “I [do the thing]//I lick the [thing]; much like Benadryl Cabbagepatch, the closer the conformity, the better the effect.

Spelling is more-or-less phonetic, especially for vowels, with some exceptions (classical cow poems make exceptions for “I”, notably) and certainly no numbers; the effect is often described as 'pseudo Chaucerian’. The grammar too is fairly standard.

Or to put it another way

My naym is pome
And wen you noe
The rouls that mayk
My strukchur floe
And poeits bend
Tou hone ther art

I mayk you smyl
I tuch the hart