i know i complain a lot about the frat boys down the street making too much noise but they’re having a barbeque or something and i just heard someone yell OHHHH FUCK MY ASS and then a loud crash and then a high-pitched WAAAHOOOO that sounded like it came straight out of goofy’s mouth and i swear to god i let out the UGLIEST laugh
Nails have been used in Ozark folk healing and magic in a variety of ways. There’s a belief among Hillfolk that the object that hurt the individual was just as important to the healing process as the medicine put onto the wound. Knife blades, bullets, and nails were often treated with healing salves and plants alongside the puncture or cut itself. Rusty nails were added to tonics to prevent tetanus or to treat illnesses like tuberculosis. Water made from soaking new nails was seen as a sure treatment for anemia and iron deficiencies, and sometimes the sickness itself could be taken off the patient and nailed to a tree. Nails were driven into footprints to deal lethal blows to foes and witches alike. Coffin and gallows nails were carried by Hillfolk as an amulet to ward of certain venereal diseases.
Curing a boil – “One way to cure boils, according to an old neighbor, is to rub a greasy string on a rusty nail and then throw the nail away where it will not be found. Hang the string on the inside of the cabin door, and touch the boil with the string several times a day.” ~Randolph OMF 125
Nail thrust into a bar of soap to prevent tetanus – “Boys in some parts of Arkansas carry the nail home and thrust it into a bar of soap, to the same depth that it was accidentally stuck into the foot; it is not clear exactly why they do this, but it is evidently connected with the idea of preventing rust, which is associated in the hillman’s mind with tetanus, or lockjaw.” ~Randolph OMF 158
In the doorway to protect from witchcraft – “Some of the old-timers drive three nails into the outside of a door, in the form of a triangle, to keep witches away from the cabin; one man told me that the three nails represent the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost and were particularly efficacious in protecting an expectant mother from the powers of evil.” ~Randolph OMF 283
Gallows nails against venereal disease – “Nails taken from a gallows are supposed to protect a man against venereal disease and death by violence. Country blacksmiths used to secure these nails and hammer them out into finger rings. As recently as 1943 there were boys in the Army wearing rings of metal taken from a gallows at Galena, Missouri, where ‘Red’ Jackson was hanged for murder in 1936.” ~Randolph OMF 152
“Nails taken from a gallows are supposed to be effective for warding off venereal disease.” ~Parler FBA III 3492
Nails driven into a witch’s footprint – “Mr. G. H. Pipes told me a witch story, which he had from Grandmaw Bryant of Reeds Spring, Missouri, in the early 1920’s. It seems that some carpenters were building a house, and the work was going very well until a certain old woman walked slowly past. From that moment everything went wrong. The workmen couldn’t hit nails but hammered their thumbs instead. They dropped their tools repeatedly, and one narrowly missed falling off the ridgepole. After two or three days of this, they called in a witch doctor. He found the old woman’s trail in the dirt and drove a big nail into one of her heel prints. As soon as this was done, the carpenters went to work again, and the building was completed with no further difficulty. The old witch had a very sore foot and limped around with a bandage on her heel nearly all winter.” ~Randolph OMF 288
Taking a spell off of a gun – “There is an old story of a famous hunter whose rifle suddenly lost its accuracy. He believed that the weapon was witched by an old woman who lived near his cabin. All smiles, the hunter went to see this woman and borrowed a nail to fasten the heel of his boot, which he said was loose. Returning home, he drove the nail into the stock of his rifle; instantly the spell was broken, and the hunter could shoot as well as ever.” ~Randolph OMF 293-294
Coffin nail to make a gun deadlier – “Some old-timers believe or at least pretend to believe that the man who drives a coffin nail into the butt of his gun will never fail to kill an enemy. The coffin nail must be one which has been used and buried in the ground, of course.” ~Randolph OMF 294
Coffin nails used in ritual against a witch – “There is one case reported from the Cookson Hill country of Oklahoma, just across the Arkansas line, where a prominent citizen died in rather strange circumstances. Some of his backwoods relatives got the idea that a witch was the cause of this man’s death and decided to avenge him in the real old-time tradition. The first step was to secure three nails from the dead man’s coffin; these may be drawn before the coffin is buried in the ground, but not until after the body has been placed in the coffin. The nails must not be replaced by other nails, and the three holes in the wood should be left open. After the funeral the old-timers killed a goat, removed the heart, and thrust the three coffin nails into it. The goat’s heart with the nails in it was then enclosed in a little basket-like cage of wire and suspended out of sight in the big chimney of the dead man’s house. The theory is that, as the goat’s heart shrivels and decays, the witch will sicken and die. If she does not sicken and die, it is regarded as evidence that she was not responsible for the man’s death, after all.” ~Randolph OMF 298-299
Red oak, cherry bark, and nails for a spring tonic – “Take red oak bark and cherry bark and place in a container. Boil down, then add whiskey. Let this boil for a while and drop a handful of rusty nail…The nails…add iron to tonic to build up the blood.” ~Parler FBA II 1361
Nail in tree for bronchitis – “Go outside and drive a nail in a tree the same height that you are. If you outgrow the nail you will outgrow your bronchitis.” ~Parler FBA II 1606
Nail water for gall bladder – “When Mr. Jones was a boy in Fayetteville and had gall bladder trouble or needed iron, their father would gather up a lot of nails, rusty ones preferred, put them in a jug with water, and they would take this like medicine.” ~Parler FBA II 2293
Nail in oak tree for toothache – “If you drive a nail in an oak tree, it will cure your toothache.” ~Parler FBA III 3431
Rusty nail water for tuberculosis – “To cure tuberculosis, soak an old, rusty nail in water until the iron is out and drink this.” ~Parler FBA III 3478
Parler, Mary Celestia - Folk Beliefs of Arkansas Randolph, Vance - Ozark Magic and Folklore
Summary: You know that Jimin’s career is nearly more important to him than his life with you and your newborn. When an evil idol ex comes back into his life, he’s forced to do the unthinkable, and you’re forced to deal with it all…until you can’t.
You stared, wide eyed at the sight of Jimin and his ex-girlfriend standing in the doorway to your apartment.
“Jimin…What the hell is she doing here?” Taehyung asked, just as surprised as you were.
“This is not a good idea..”Jungkook whispered beneath his breath.
“Well it’s good to see you boys too!” G/N piped up, her gaze flashing from you to the baby and back.
You still felt speechless, unable to form words at the sight that you wouldn’t ever thought you’d see.
“Babe..Babe please don’t be angry she just wouldn’t believe me when I said I had moved on from her…so I had to show her..” Jimin spoke fast, the incredulous look on your face sending terror through him. You looked past Jimin to Jungkook and V, their eyes on you protectively.
You push past your husband, holding your arms out, signaling Taehyung to give you the baby. He holds her out as she coos, moving her tiny arms around as you bring her to your chest.
Without glancing at Jimin, you walked towards your bedroom, tears slowly forming. You turned around, locking your attention to Jungkook.
“Make them leave please…the both of them”
“Y/N WAIT” Jimin yelped as you slammed the bedroom door in his face.
Summary: Chris and Natalia meet at the Evans Fourth of July barbecue. Shanna and Scott tease Chris’s infatuation with Nat, but the night doesn’t end the way the Evans’ thought it would.
Note: Thank you to Amy for writing this hilarious interaction between the Evans siblings. I absolutely love her and this masterpiece! It’s perfect. On behalf of Amy and myself, thank you very much for reading!
The barbecue was in full swing, and it was the perfect
day. Shanna smiled from where she was
sitting, as she watched Natalia and Chris talk to each other. She knew immediately that her best friend
would get along with her oldest brother, she had actually thought it pretty quickly
after meeting her. Watching them was so
validating to that. Shanna got up when
she heard Scott calling her from inside the kitchen.
Scott and Shanna were talking in the kitchen when Chris
walked in. The look on his face could
only be described as dopey. He looked
like he was in a total daze.
“Chris and Natalia, sittin’ in a tree…” Scott began.
“K-I-S-S-I-N-G,” Shanna piped up as Scott continued,
“First comes love…” they continued before Chris threw a chip
at his brother.
“All right, all right you two,” he finally tried to cut them
off. Scott continued to make kissy
noises as Shanna laughed at his antics.
“Youuuuu….like her….” Scott finished. “You like, like her like her. You want to pass her a note in study hall to
ask if she wants to be your girlfriend.”
“Whatever man. She’s
cool. I haven’t met an actual down to
earth, cool chick in a while.”
“Hey guys, keep it PG rated here.” Penelope grinned, watching the adorable couple head towards the elevator.
(Y/N) smirked over at her, reaching up and kissing Spencer for longer than the last Garcia had just saw. “Mmm sorry, what was that, Penelope?” (Y/N) asked innocently, Spencer’s cheeks flushing slightly.
“For my eyes’ sake, please keep it G rated.” Morgan piped up, grinning over at them. “Unless you guys think making out is suitable for all ages. Then change the P in PDA to Private.” He smirked, grinning wider when Spencer started to laugh nervously.
“Come on guys, it’s our anniversary.” Spencer laughed, winking over at (Y/N) playfully.
“Exactly. And if it becomes anything rated more than PG-13, than we’re going to lose (Y/N) to maternity leave.” JJ joined in, sitting in one of the desk chairs, spinning herself around. “Then we’re left with you, Spence, spitting out knowledge facts and no way to shut you up.”
“Oh I know plenty ways to shut up him.” (Y/N) grinned, making the whole group shout out, “Ewwwww” like children.
“Suggestive talk there, (Y/N). I don’t think that’s part of the G rating.” Hotch said in his firm tone, giving the couple a glare before breaking out into a smile. He passed them, heading for the elevator. “Happy Anniversary, you two.” He called out.
Spencer widened his mouth into an awkward sort of smile making (Y/N) laugh as she watched the elevator doors close behind Hotch.
“So what does a G rating have planned for us tonight?” Spencer asked when he and (Y/N) were walking to his car.
“Well, I was thinking we order take out from that restaurant you’ve been dying for me to try, watch a couple of Disney movies, and cuddle to our hearts’ content. Nothing too fancy, just…us.” (Y/N) smiled up at him, pecking his lips affectionately.
“I don’t think that’s technically G rated, possible PG-” Spencer started with a playful tone, (Y/N) laughing and shoving his arm gently.
“Shut up and get in the car!” She laughed, shaking her head, ready for a fun playful night that you could probably rate as G.