Things that make a ship abusive:

  • Put downs
  • Physical violence
  • Sexual abuse
  • Forcing the partner to stay with them
  • Making the partner feel like they’re not good enough
  • Trying to control the partner’s life
  • Blackmail 
  • Bullying. 

Things that DON’T make a ship abusive:

  • Both parties being the legal age of consent but one being significantly older than the other (can still be problematic, but it’s not abusive.) 
  • Someone saying something they shouldn’t have one time on accident and  sincerely apologizing for it afterwards (may be a legitimate cause to end the relationship, but does not qualify as abuse.) 
  • Arguing.
  • Honesty. 
  • You not liking it. 
  • The relationship in question being anything less than perfect. 

Can we please as a website end this trend where we call ships we don’t like abusive when they actually aren’t? It’s insulting to people who have actually been in or currently are in abusive relationships.