furry text

Shiro: … Oh, man.

Matt: What?

Shiro: If I grew out my hair… Do you think I would look like a skunk?

Matt: (eyes light up) Oh my god? You would be like an anthropomorphized- Oh my god! Shiro! You’d be like a gijinka of Pepé Le Pew!

Shiro: No. I regret bringing this up-

Matt: (slams his hands on the table) Pepé Le Pew is your fursona!

Jumin's Route Day 6 Summary
  • Jaehee: mR hAn PlEaSe AnSwEr YoUr CaLlS
  • Me: *calls jumin*
  • Jumin: *answers and speaks about his feelings


All remaining Kiricorn and Candy Chameleon designs are now $10 off their original price! In addition, I relisted an unsold Unusual Gryphon design from last year for $30.

I don’t really have a use for these critters, and with MFF and a busy December coming up, any one of these going to a good home would help me out a bunch! <3

hi there im von i love lapis lazuli n i mostly blog abt steven universe stuff !! im looking for new blogs to follow so reblog n ill check out ur blog :o

what im looking for mostly:

**keep in mind: especially regarding fandom things, i will not follow you if i see untagged fandom discourse on your blog. any fandom. at all. same goes for aro/ace discourse**

bold for what im lookin the most for!!

  • steven universe
  • night in the woods
  • pokemon
  • voltron
  • star vs the forces of evil
  • neon genesis evagelion
  • aesthetics [water, nature, city, 90s, witch, ect ect]
  • lapis lazuli blogs!!
  • cute furry art 
  • music posting blogs [indie, electronica, and/or chill]

lance, texting keith: nyaaaaa :3 xD youve been tagged by the furry police!! x3 send this to 6 other furries u know to tag them by the furry police too! uwu :3 nyaaa xD! if u get this sent back 10 times you’re a furry criminal xDD, if you get this sent back 5 times u are a furry thief owo who stole furry hearts, if u got this 3 times thn u are a furry PIRATE O_O ! once means u are jst a Furry ;3 .

keith, texting lance: I have not said one foul thing to you.

feel free to adjust sentences to make it fit your muse better!

  • [ TEXT ] I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
  • [ TEXT ] This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left…bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
  • [ TEXT ] I bet your mom’s never met a girl who’s thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
  • [ TEXT ] Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry’s mind
  • [ TEXT ] You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn’t have predicted the housing crisis.
  • [ TEXT ] I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
  • [ TEXT ] I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
  • [ TEXT ] I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
  • [ TEXT ] Don’t tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
  • [ TEXT ] Don’t take a pillow from my bed. You don’t know which ones of them my vagina has been on
  • [ TEXT ] I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that’s not awesome customer service, I don’t know what is.
  • [ TEXT ] my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it’s literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
  • [ TEXT ] that’s what I’m here for. I’m literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
  • [ TEXT ] sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
  • [ TEXT ] All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
  • [ TEXT ] Dude I turned down free booze. I think I’m growing as a person.
  • [ TEXT ] Can’t tell if it’s the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
  • [ TEXT ] it was a hallmark card with butt plugs
  • [ TEXT ] Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It’ll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
  • [ TEXT ] It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
  • [ TEXT ] His ex told me that she wanted me to “take care of” him but from the way she said it I couldn’t tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
  • [ TEXT ] If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
  • [ TEXT ] We’re lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we’re okay. I think they all understand.
  • [ TEXT ] Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you’ve dug for yourself. asking for a friend
  • [ TEXT ] i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering “why” in various inflections.
  • [ TEXT ] Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
  • [ TEXT ] Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
  • [ TEXT ] I couldn’t find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
  • [ TEXT ] Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I’ve never met before.
  • [ TEXT ] Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
  • [ TEXT ] how do i act around someone who’s shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
  • [ TEXT ] he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
  • [ TEXT ] I never imagine I’d say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
  • [ TEXT ] Why can’t they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I’m meant to be?
  • [ TEXT ] There’s nothing like when u really click with a stripper
  • [ TEXT ] Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
  • [ TEXT ] I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
  • [ TEXT ] Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
  • [ TEXT ] He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
  • [ TEXT ] That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
  • [ TEXT ] You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him “shouldn’t you be yelling at dragons”
  • [ TEXT ] I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
How I got my boss to look up yiffy

My boss is a 35 year old guy from El Salvador who is pretty good at english, but not exactly fluent. I had a paper bag with my tips in it, and my name written on the side. queermagneto, my friend and co-worker was being funny as usual and wrote yiffy on my bag. My boss comes up to me and says “what is yiffy”?? He thought it was a word he hadn’t heard before. At this point we were trying to hold back our laughter, and we told him to Google it. He came across a picture of a horse fucking a fox, but he was still confused. 2 girls came in, probably 20 or 21, and as the came up to the counter, my boss asks them “what’s yiffy?”. At this point we’re dying laughing, as the girls responded “I don’t know”. He then proceded to show them the yiffy pictures he found. The girls were kind of creeped out, yet intruiged, as they tried to Google it as well. They left saying “wow, this was quite the experience”. Me and dee are laughing to the point of tears by now, and my boss just says to us “you kids and your yiffy” as he shakes his head.

i just wanted to know if andrew could potentially grab a fox like he grabs neil or u grab cats

and im now crying about foxes they’re so cute im now moving to japan’s fox village and living there until I die of cuteness


Thank you for your kind comments on my last update ;v;

! I just wanted to express a little bit how interacting with people outside the furry community intimidates me ;; I’m kinda paranoid that people will assume I’m weird or some sort of freak if I draw furries and participate in the fandom since there’s so much hate/distaste towards furry??

Like, no, I don’t think I’m an animal in a human body. (I’ve nothing against therians tho, you do you) Everything I draw is for aesthetic reasons only, and it’s…fun! I enjoy drawing furries and having a fursona. It’s a hobby I’m very invested in but I’m scared people from outside the fandom will assume all sorts of things about me because of considering myself a furry ;_; This is probably the biggest reason I barely drawn fan art, idk what people in other fandoms would think if they see that the art piece they liked/reblogged is from a furry artist/furry blog :/ (even tho it isn’t furry only)

I’m just kinda nervous about people’s thoughts towards me and my art, I’m worried they’ll look down on me if I draw anthropomorphic animals and have an furry persona.

Thanks for reading, I needed to let this out since it makes me kinda anxious :’) If you’re a furry I’d like to know your thoughts, also if you’re non-furry/from another fandom please let me know what you think! Thanks…again~

there! right there! (gay or a galra)


there! right there!
look at that smooth and creamy skin
look at the killer shape he’s in
his hair is past his chin
oh please he’s gay, totally gay!

i’m not about to celebrate
every trait could indicate
the totally straight expatriate
this guy’s not gay, i say not gay

that’s the balmera in the room
well, is it relevant to assume
that a man who wears perfume
is automatically radically fay?

but look at his long and whispy locks

look at his bright and purple socks

there’s the eternal paradox
there is a flaw

what’s the flaw?

is he gay?

of course he’s gay!

or a galra?

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