Today I did this thing, work. It’s where they send you after you pay a lot of money for people to assign you letters through e-mail for five years. I work in technology. Technology looks like this:

That is what most technology looks like. The technology that I do usually looks like this:

Today I did technology in the downtown. To stop your car in downtown it costs $22 and a squat thrust. I was greeted by happy employees:

My technology work went like this today:

“Hello nerdface! we’re so happy you’re here because our technology is broken.”

I sensed in the crevices of my garmin you would need my help this day. I will work for 2 of your largest women an hour.

“This sounds wonderful! Come let us show you our technology”

One moment, I first must be escorted to the eruption altar.


Your technology, I must disassemble.

*Bangs face into pc until it obeys*

*mourns loss of an innocent victim upon further inspection*

That is a quarter in the middle of the picture. It appeared someone had mistaken this computer for a parking meter as there were more.

Sirs and womens, I have bad news. I have found the problem with your technologies. It appears someone has been shoving quarters all up in the ports of your technologies, resulting in the death of your millenium machine. It is a well known fact that intel chipsets do not accept payment in quarters. They do, however, accept payment in bagels. I’m sorry to have to inform you of your loss. Who wants ice cream?