funnymed

crush: I found your Tumblr

me: what’s tumblr haha do you like bread? 

crush: you’re pretty funny

me: hell yeah I am 

me 2015: how could someone read jeff the killer and be scared by it it’s literally the dumbest shit to the point of being funny

me 2017: that and also how could someone read jeff the killer and decide to kin jeff the k

anonymous asked:

S M Y for Todoroki please~~

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

he’s pre good, a couple rounds but more than four and he’ll fall asleep in you, it happened once and it was super funny

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

he may be a teen but it takes a lot for him to get going, like super specific things that you would never pick up on unless it was an unlikely coincidence or he just told you, his partner wearing his pants, liquid eyeliner and lip gloss

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

below average, it’s not needed in a relationship but he won’t push away the offer

Ruined

Prompt: Sehun breaks up with you through text

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 913


A nice, calming walk was ruined.


It was one of those days that only happen once or twice a year, when the weather is perfect. When the air is cool, but the sun is just hot enough to keep you pleasantly warm but not enough to overpower the refreshing temperature of the air.


A timid breath of a brisk breeze followed by a gentle kiss of warmth that left your skin feeling alive.



It was perfect.





Was…



Your phone dinged.


Sehun.


Bb maknae: i need to talk to you.

Me: is something wrong?

Bb maknae: kinda yeah

Me: is the bubble tea place closed

Bb maknae: no

Me: we’re out of chocolate

Bb maknae: no


That’s weird…that’s usually what he pesters about…


Me: what happened?

Bb maknae: i dont think you’ll take this well

Me: sehun ur scaring me.

Me: you didnt set the kitchen on fire or anything right???

Bb maknae: I love you, you know that right?


You stopped walking.

Your feet were frozen in place as you stood in the middle of the park.

A cloud quietly drifted over the sun.


The air became a little colder.


Me: yes, i know…

Me: sehun where is this going?


Bb maknae: You really do mean a lot to me, but I…I dont think the feelings are the same anymore. I dont really know how to explain it, I just…

Bb maknae: I don’t want to end on bad terms.

Bb maknae: There isn’t another girl or anything, I just dont want to force something that isnt there anymore. It would be unfair for you.


There’s no way this is real…why the FUCK was he doing this through texts? OF ALL THINGS?!


Me: hahaha you got me sehun, thats really funny

Me: you arent serious right?

Bb maknae: Unfortunately, I am serious.


Me: SO YOURE BREAKING UP WITH ME THROUGH TEXT?!

Me: IF YOURE ACTUALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS, TELL IT TO MY FACE AND PACK YOUR STUFF

Bb maknae: I already packed.

Me: YOURE STILL TALKING TO ME.

Me: IN PERSON.

Me: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THIS THROUGH TEXT? DID YOU REALLY THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA???

Bb maknae: Im waiting for you right now. I’ll talk to you about it then too.

Me: FUCK YOU SEHUN I SWEAR TO GOD

Bb maknae: I know and I’m sorry



And that is why you were running-no…sprinting at full speed back to your previously shared apartment with tears running down your face, your heart shattering with each step as you got closer to him.


Why? We were fine this morning? Could I really not tell that something was bothering him? This can’t be real, this can’t be real…please…don’t be real!



But sure enough, several boxes were stacked outside the door when you arrived.

You opened one.

His sweaters.

They smelled faintly of him.


You cringed and closed up the box.


Patting down your hair and wiping the salty streaks off of your face, you opened the door and stepped inside.



Sehun was standing in the center of the room with a solemn expression and his hands in his hoodie pockets.

“Sehun…” You tried to keep your raging emotions to a minimum, but your voice couldn’t hold down everything.

“Look, I’m sorry, I just-”

“You already told me enough,” you snapped. “You already told me why, and saying it now isn’t going to make texting me about it any better.”

“I’m sorry for texting you, but it’s been on my mind for a while…”

“Sehun,” your voice broke, “we could’ve just talked about it? Talked it through? Tried to fix something?”

“I know, but I assume it’s too late now?”


The silence gave him the answer he already knew.


“Y/N…I’m glad I got to see you at least one more time.”

“I didn’t want to believe you…” you whispered, avoiding your broken voice as much as possible as tears welled in your eyes. “I came here because I didn’t want to believe that it was real…but,” a tear rolled down your cheek, “but it is so…”

You looked up at him.

“What do we do now, Sehun?”


The corners of his lips were pulling up.

He quickly stifled it. 


“DID YOU JUST SMILE?

Another grin.

This time, he couldn’t hold it back.

“WHAT THE FUCK SEHUN?”

He bent over laughing.

“Y/N…wh-what…what day is it?”

“Friday, what the fuck is going on?”

“No, no no…the date.”

“April-”



Oh…






OH.  





As he saw the cruel realization break across your face, his cackling grew even louder.


“FUCK. YOU. OH. SEHUN.” You furiously approached him and slugged him in the shoulder. He weakly blocked it, still laughing his  dumb ass off.

“HOW DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? YOU DON’T DO THAT! I WAS HEARTBROKEN, WHAT THE FUCK? THAT WASN’T FUNNY!!!”

“I’m sorry! I just couldn’t not do it!”

“FUCK OFF! NOW I ACTUALLY DO WANT TO BREAK UP WITH YOU! GOOD THING YOUR STUFF’S ALREADY PACKED! GET OUT!!!”


With laughing tears in his eyes, he hurriedly pulled you into an apologetic hug, smirk still on his face.

“Get off me.” You tried to shove him, but he held you closer.

“I’m sorry, I really am.”

“No, you aren’t. You’re still laughing at me.”

“No, really, I’m sorry.” He pulled away to look you in the eyes. Yes, his eyes were still laughing, but there were faint traces of sincerity and a bit of regret.

But mostly humorous triumph.

“Fuck you.”


He kissed you.




You let him.


APRIL FOOLS GUYS!!! 

The prompt was actually Sehun breaking up with you as a joke, and I couldn't not do it today ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

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