funny-phrases

ranking fruit names (german)

selected fruits (bc they have the more german-german names, u know, not a… basically generic name like kiwi etc):
Apfel, Birne, Pfirsich, Banane, Erdbeere, Johannisbeere, Pflaume, Dattel, Himbeere, Ananas, Trauben, Limette, Zitrone, Orange/Apfelsine

i rank the name not the taste! 

Apfel (apple): very basic name, not at all fancy but the “pf” is a nice touch. i give it…. a 3.8/10

Birne (pear): a good name! used in various phrases as well, eg: “sich die Birne anschlagen” (to hit ya head), “Glühbirne” (lightbulb), i give it 5.9/10, a good name for a pear shaped fruit

Pfirsich (peach): Pfirsich, or as the southern would call it: Pfirschig. quite tricky with the “s” and the “ch”, gives the whole name an air of fanciness. 7.5/10

Banane (banana): BORING! 1/10

Erdbeere (strawberry): an earth berry? no thankx, eat ya own dirt, 1.2/10

Johannisbeere (currant): whomst is this Johannis and how do i meet him? 6/10

Pflaume (plum): the most wholesome name!!!!! tbh!!!! Pflaume sound so round. so juicy. 10/10. famous namebearers: Kai Pflaume

Dattel (date): i do not like the name of this fruit :/ Dattel…. not a good name. not a good name. at most a 2/10

Himbeere (raspberry): who is HE, who is HIM? anti feminist icon Himbeere 0/10

Ananas (pineapple): a nice name. has produced this 1 iconic joke: 
Was wird aus Anna im Regen? (What becometh of Anna in the Raineth?)
–> Ananas aka Anna nass (Anna wet)
iconic, 10/10

Trauben (grapes): 1 grape is not 1 Traube. 1 grape is 1 Weinbeere. 1 Traube is 1 whole buncha grapes. but the word Trauben? i like it, 7.7/10

Limette (lime): a good fucking name! fancy! i give Limette a wholesome 10/10 and on the fancy scala a 6/10

Zitrone (lemon): those yellow fuckers. theyre like bananas but evil. the name is nice tho, i really enjoy the “Z” because it makes it fancy. a wholesome 8/10

Orange/Apfelsine (orange): technically, a basic name. Orange. but Apfelsine? which basically (is dutch i think????? dont quote) means Apfel aus China (apple from china) and that gives the thing a whole other dimension tbh, 7.9/10

A formula

@Louis and Jesy’s comments on opposite topics still share a striking resemblance in structure and phrasing. Funny, that.

Louis_Tomlinson [about people thinking he and Harry were in a relationship]:  Still months on reading ridiculous conspiracy theories. It’s upsetting that I have to read them daily. Thank god for the lovely people on here. Hows this , Larry is the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard. I’m happy why can’t you accept that.  Ohh dear I’ve gone to town today haha. Lots of love to all of you amazing fans !!

jesynelson [about people thinking her and Perrie hated each other: Was gonna leave it because people love to write shit all the time and it’s just something we have to get used to but it’s gone to far now and it’s really starting to get on my boobs 🙄 there never has been and never will be a feud between my Perrie winkle and me! I didn’t like the one poxy picture of myself so I asked Pez to crop me out and like a good friend she did and for some strange reason there has now been a story created that me and my Pez hate each other 🙈 biggest load of bulls**t I’ve ever heard! Anyway just wanted to clear that one up with everyone cs it’s gotten a tad out of hand now 👍🏻

Dating Baekhyun Would Include...

Originally posted by sefuns

(DON’T OWN THE GIF)

(STILL TAKING REQUESTS)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  • Turning everything into a competition.
  • Taking turns to see who can annoy Kyungsoo and Sehun the fastest.
  • Pillow talk and cuddle sessions.
  • Him holding you close and softly singing in your ear whenever you have a bad day.
  • Frequently pretending you’ve had a bad day just so that he’ll hold you close and softly sing in your ear. 
  • Chanyeol and Baekhyun are a package deal. Learn to deal with it. 
  • “Oh…Chanyeol. Nice to see you in my living room…..again.
  • Forcing him to watch your favorite movies.
  • Showing him music that you know he’ll most likely hate just because its hilarious.
  • “What even is this?”
  • “It’s Sleeping With Sirens.”
  • “How could they be sleeping with all this damn screaming?”
  • His eyeliner will always look better than yours. Period. 
  • Karaoke dates.
  • Him constantly bragging about you to the other members.
  • Writing diss tracks for each other.
  • BACK HUGS FOR DAYS.
  • The sweetest kisses in the world.
  • The hottest kisses in the world.
  • Video game dates.
  • Him getting jealous of how close you are with the other members.
  • Him constantly smirking at you just because he knows it’s your weakness.
  • Making each other T-Shirts with funny or random catch phrases.
  • “You seriously made me a T-Shirt that says ‘Keep Calm and Kkaepsong On?’ That doesn’t even make sense!”
  • “Yeah, well you made me one that said ‘All I want For Christmas is Chogiwa.’ You know that’s a sensitive subject, Y/N. Jongin cried for an hour after he seen that and Kyungsoo was actually going to murder me, and I don’t mean the playful type of murder that everyone jokes about.”
  • Catching him watching his fancams and talking to himself about how great he looks.
  • Not being able to deny that he looks pretty damn great. 
  • Lots of skinship. He’s very touchy.
  • No matter the situation, you are always able to put a smile on each others faces.
9

Wakfu ep 8 season 1

“민윤지😍”

…not AU + me just making shit up + don’t take this seriously!!! + rated pg + honestly, i wrote this idea down last night and today we finally got a selca!!! how timely!!! :) (tho you know…different context lol)

the filming felt like it was gonna drag on forever. they’ve been there for 7 hours trying to film a thirty-minute video. the clock strikes five, and finally they’re free, but their next schedule doesn’t start for at least two hours so snacks were due in order, giving the boys some hours of rest before they head off again.

as predicted, jimin drags yoongi away after the director yelled “aaaand cut!” and everyone files out of the room after thanking all the staff. 

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can we stop talking about that little disrespectful ass cash me ousside girl? she’s not entertaining @ all tbh like her little phrase was funny at first but we all know if that would’ve been a child of color, y'all wouldn’t like her.

championofdogs  asked:

"don't be fucking rude" ? w rhack ideally

Normally, Jack is the rude one.  I have a strong need to flip that.  Good morning, have a rude boy.  :B


All day, Rhys had been like this.  Mouthy, giving Jack attitude.  That morning, the kid had woken him up by yanking the covers away and calling him old.  He’d pushed Jack away in the shower, not even bothering with words, giving Jack the silent treatment.  When Jack was finally ready to go, all he got was a message on his ECHO device, telling him Rhys had already left.  There was no coffee on his desk, Rhys hadn’t prepared his daily schedule, and Jack was left to order lunch on his own.  Rhys had given one look to what Jack ordered for him (chicken alfredo, from the fancy place), and turned his nose up at it.  The kid’s behavior was really grinding Jack’s gears.  So he did the rational thing and marched over to Rhys’s desk to loom over the PA.

“What do you want now?” Rhys asked, eyes still focused on his monitor screen.

“Hey, hey, don’t be fucking rude!”  That got Rhys’s attention, but the younger man was scowling.  “What’s crawled up your ass, princess?” Jack asked, reaching up to comb his fingers through his own hair.

“Funny you should phrase it that way, old man.  You fell asleep before I could even get my shorts off.”


Four Word Prompts Meme

Leo: Can your nickname be Sneako instead of Neeks?

Nico: …Why…?

Leo: I think it fits you better, since you sneak around in the shadows all the time.

Nico: ….

Leo: And you can make your own funny catch phrases. Like instead of saying ‘I’m going to the bathroom’ you can say “I’m going to sneak a leak’.

Nico: …

Leo: I have five seconds to run?

Nico: You bet. 

anonymous asked:

if it's possible could you write fs + 19 in the christmas stocking universe? because it's adorable!

19) things you said when we were the happiest we ever were

christmas stockings au: one, two and three

Her hospital room is so quiet that as Jemma leans back against her pillows she can hear the sound of her new born daughter’s tiny heartbeat thumping against her as she lies sound asleep on her chest.

Smiling, Jemma rubs her thumb in small, gentle circles on the baby’s back, trying to savour the last few moments she has with her alone before Fitz arrives to introduce the rest of their family to the new addition.

Whilst the two of them had been at the hospital, they had left the children with their Auntie Daisy, who, thanks to a SHIELD issue SUV, had managed to arrive at their house within fifteen minutes of being called and then had sent them off in the same SUV, announcing that she would take care of everything. 

That had been almost two days ago now and, as much as she has needed the rest, Jemma is starting to miss the noise and the chaos that her family almost always managed to bring with it, which is why when she hears their footsteps on the corridor outside her room, her heart leaps with excitement.

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anonymous asked:

what is the origin of "bro we are teens"?

it came from a facebook page called “Bro We Are Teens - Problem?” and people just thought it was a funny phrase

someone reblogged a gif of that loli basketball anime with the caption “bro we are teens” and that led to an association between the two

dear Autistic and Neurodivergent girls

when you spin as the wind runs through your hair

when you echo long words, short words, funny phrases

when your feet dance and your fingers flick and fly

when your hands wave in arcs like rainbows

when you hug a friend, hug a pet, hug yourself

when you soar into the sky on a swing

when you bounce on the balls of your feet, too happy to be contained

when you sing songs with made-up words, songs without words

you must never forget

you are beautiful