funny-one-liners

Dirty one liners

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

What’s a mixed feeling?
When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

What’s the height of conceit?
Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

What’s the definition of macho?
Jogging home from your vasectomy.
(more…)

View On WordPress

Made with WordPress
Pregnancy one liners

Q. Should I have a baby after 35?
A. No, 35 children is enough.

Q. When will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after finishing high school.

Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.

Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s…

View On WordPress

Made with WordPress