funny-fat-girl

There are only three reasons why I will pause Netflix.

1) I haven’t eaten all day and my stomach will implode if I don’t eat everything in my fridge right now until I hate myself
2) Chris Pratt is at my door and wants me to join him on his next galactic dinosaur quest
3) Sex

  • <p><b>Rae:</b>  I'm definitely not girly.<p/><b>Kester:</b> Why do you say that?<p/><b>Rae:</b> My nickname is Raemundo.<p/><b></b> I drink pints. I swear. I'm loud. I tell jokes.<p/><b>Kester:</b> What's not girly about telling jokes?<p/><b>Rae:</b> Oh, because telling jokes is a boy thing. And boys don't like it when girls tell jokes, because it freaks them out to think that a girl might actually be funnier than what they are.<p/></p>

I just spent ten minutes in the bathroom poking my fat rolls.

I have rolls upon rolls right now.

I don’t hate the rolls. I guess you could say that I’m just morbidly curious of the rolls.

Truth be told, I have never been so big as I am now - it’s a whole new world for me!

Ah, yes, that’s the other thing…I have officially become the funny fat girl.

I’m not sure why…perhaps I feel the need to make fun of myself, to bring attention to my weight gain so others don’t have to.

I have become the obese one.

But hey, who knows, maybe tomorrow the pieces will all fall into place and I’ll finally get my sh*t together?!

I’m ok, just feeling a bit lost.

i feel like I’m in a boat that is sinking, it’s getting more and more leaks. Water is cascading in from all sides and all I have to remove the water is a teaspoon.

A teaspoon.

I don’t know where to begin.

Hope you are all well xxx

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I sing last years Thanksgiving song from bob’s burgers. I didn’t do a good job but I hope you like it. 

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Fat Woman Fail