funny high school

things that actually happened in my high school

1. in the middle of am homeroom (so like 9am in the morning) a kid just broke out a pint of ice cream and started eating it. and i guess it wouldnt have been that bad except once people noticed, everyone started whispering and pointing until half the class was surrounding the table literally BEGGING for some. the teacher actually had to stop reading the morning announcements and give a speech on how you shouldn’t give death threats over ice cream.

2. this kid i was sitting next to once went home bc he got a massive headache after staring straight into a lightbulb for 2 minutes bc he “was bored and wanted to see what would happen.” he ended up taking 3 advils after that, got paranoid and made the entire table search “how many pills of advil does it take to overdose” on a school computer.

3.  there was a HUGE ASS fly in the room and the teacher thought itd be a great idea to kill it by throwing a folder 4inches thick with papers in its general direction; it ended up going across the room and hitting a poor, innocent kid in the face so hard that the other kids at the table scrammed and started yelling “EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF”…and when i tell you that this fly was huge,,it was literally so MASSIVE that this one girl almost started crying when it flew near her, someone actually tried throwing a cup of coffee at it, and another person started screaming ZIKA VIRUSSSS and something about how they weren’t vaccinated. and mind you the majority of the students are dressed in fancy attire bc of the national honor society ceremony that was later in the afternoon. in the midst of all this chaos, this one kid stands up, doesnt say anything and literally just ninja slams his bare hand onto the table and kills the fly all in one fluid motion, all without saying a single word. the entire class just broke out in thunderous applause, including the teacher, and then class continued as normal as if the past 10 minutes didn’t even happen

4. during first period a teacher who lost a ton of weight over a 2 year period was giving serious advice about the importance of living a healthy lifestyle while this kid right in front of the teacher’s desk breaks out a FULL mcdonalds breakfast meal and distributes it among the table

5. kids that were in apush and ap spanish held a joint prayer vigil the day before ap exams began, so that ap students could literally hold hands and pray to survive exam season as well as mourn our high grades. everyone who went was required to bring in fake candles and food, while someone else conducted a prayer service. a special invitation was sent using our school emails, you had to rsvp in order to attend, and it was suggested that you wear black. our ap teachers knew about this, and they agreed it was a good idea somehow

Something that happened at my school today, but also imagine your OTP
  • Teacher: Compare answers with friends around you.
  • Boy: what if you don't have any friends?
  • Teacher: Then compare answers with your nemesis.
  • Boy; *sighs and turns towards the guy next to him WHO IS actually his friend* What did you get?
  • Guy next to him: *pushes the boys paper off the desk without looking up from his phone*
  • Boy: GOD DAMN IT
Things My Math Teacher has Said and Done

-”Now I’ll take attendance in the order in which I don’t like you”

-Made us say ‘may I use the potty?’ in a British accent when we need to use the washroom 

-”Good morning, how’s my favourite class doing-they just left you would’ve passed them in the hallway”

-Had names for all of the variables: a is for apple pie, b is for brownie, c is for cookie, and D IS FOR DOUGHNUT

-”This is beautiful. Just like if you were in front of a mirror-with me standing in front of you”

-He spent like 10 minutes making sure we understood the difference between cannoli and cannelloni

- “You should join the geek protection squad, we would beat up kids like you”

-On the first day of class he drew an x in the corner of the whiteboard with a box around it and it???? somehow stayed there???? all year?????

-”you should all take French just in case you meet a pretty French lady on a plane like I did”

-We had this closet in the corner of the room, and then it just became a thing to talk about the body in the closet (especially when people not in the class would come in)

-Answered the phone in one of two ways “greetings human” or “Pizza Pizza”

-While we’re talking about phones if someone was being looked for he’d tell them that they were out in the smoking area handing out anti-smoking pamphlets

-”You guys are so loud! People would think you’re Italian or something”

-Once turned the lights on using ‘the force’, a.k.a a lightsaber he kept on his desk, and a student standing under the light switch

-”BIG LIKE HOUSE”

-He told us this story about how a few years ago if a kid was particularly annoying/disruptive he’d send them to a certain teacher to ask for a ‘long stand’ that teacher would take a loooong time looking for this item before sending the kid along to the next teacher (I think there were 4?) anyway, once the kid would get back and be like ‘there is no long stand’ he’d say ‘well weren’t you standing for a long time?’

-There was a girl who had a broken arm, who got moved out of the class when her schedule got rearranged. During attendance he’d call ‘broken arm girl’ first, and she would come into the room before we got there to write stuff like ‘broken arm girl was here’ on the board

-The day before christmas break we just talked about star wars the whole class

-called us all sunshine and when one girl asked why he called her stormy clouds for the rest of the year

-If someone came to borrow something, before he’d give it to them he’d ask if they would like to know where they could get one, and then the whole class would all be like ‘staples’ ‘best buy’ ‘dollar store’ etc