funny text conversation

i’m in my prime,
not withering and old.
but i refuse to play
your wicked games any longer.

i know this tether is unbreakable,
but you make me feel like i’m interchangeable.
you drew a target on my heart,
when did this become fatal attraction?

i don’t have the strength,
the energy,
nor the patience
to be held hostage by your love.

so baby please don’t despair
when i say that
i’ve found the courage to
let you go.

you were never meant to be tied down in the first place.

—  believing i could love you was my mistake, c.j.n.
  • Introducing the new army bomb
  • Jin: it has 5 different light modes :)
  • Suga: it looks the same but has better quality
  • Jimin: it's worth the money because we added new functions
  • Jungkook: yeah buy the new army bomb because it also vibrates so it's really multi-purposed and...
  • Jin: CUT THE CAMERA OFF!! JUNGSHIT THAT'S NOT HOW I RAISED YOU
every episode of house ever
  • *episode opens with patient going about their every day life*
  • patient: owww my everything
  • *patient goes to hospital*
  • house: okay guys got any ideas
  • literally everyone: ehh probably meningitis
  • house: well you're wrong give him a lumbar puncture
  • foreman: house despite you being the head of our team we obviously know more than you
  • house: *joke about foreman being black*
  • foreman:
  • house:
  • foreman:
  • house:
  • chase: hey cameron you wanna bang later
  • cameron: fuk u
  • chase: eyyy she wants me ;0
  • patient: oww my everything
  • cameron: the patient is getting worse house what do we do
  • house: pfff fuck if i know
  • cameron: damn house you suck you're a terrible doctor he obviously has meningitis
  • house: give him some drugz idk
  • cameron: wow guys did you hear house telling us to give the patient drugs? damn he's a great doctor wouldn't you just like to bang him?
  • chase: >:(
  • cuddy: house go work in the clinic
  • house: no
  • cuddy: do it or else
  • house: ugh fine
  • *insert some comic-relief scene of house in the clinic with a dumb patient*
  • *meanwhile the first patient gets worse*
  • patient: owww now my eyes are green
  • chase: house his eyes are green and he is literally on the brink of death what do we do
  • *INSERT 30 SECOND LONG MONTAGE OF HOUSE GOING OVER THE FACTS*
  • house: gREEN EYES?! THIS IS A SIGN OF TITTY DEFLATION!
  • *insert a 3D animation of how the disease works with voice over of how it works*
  • house: only a shot of the super-duper-illegal anti-titty deflation vaccine that has not yet been made legal can save him now
  • cuddy: NO
  • house: YES
  • cuddy: NO
  • house: YES
  • cuddy: NO
  • house: fuk u bitch i do what i want lmao cuddy? more like slutty ayyyy
  • *house gives patient cure*
  • patient: wow, doctor! by some miracle you've cured me! And even the chronic pain in my back was fixed!
  • house: yet another symptom of your titty deflation
  • wilson: how did he have titty deflation? he doesn't have titties
  • house: shut up, wilson, you were probably irrelevant this episode
  • *"You Can't Always Get What You Want" plays*

if people were elements,
then we are ice and fire.

your touch is frost upon my burning skin,
my breath melts your frozen heart.
your kiss is cool against my lips,
and my heat warms you all the way down
to the tips of your toes.

and although we could complement each other,
beckon the other away from the end of polarity
to come and meet in the middle,
too much of one

will eliminate the other.

—  and i’d never forgive myself if i caused your destruction, c.j.n.
  • BTS planning new album&comeback
  • RM: so I was thinking we do the same concept..kinda..like we should totally have solos again
  • Suga: I like that..I have a list of people to diss
  • Jimin: can I be blindfolded again?
  • BTS: what
  • Jimin: what
  • Taehyung: CAN I PLEASEE PLESEE PRETTY PLEASE FEATURE IN CY
  • Rap-line: NO
  • Taehyung: even if I pay y
  • Rap-line: NO
  • Jungkook: I'm thinking we should do something new with our solos, like the rap-line could sing for a change and we will rap instead
  • Suga: can you even write your own lyrics to begin with
  • Jungkook: totally, here's something I wrote before sleep last night. (Clears throat) Jimin is so immature I'm done with his childsplay
  • I may be younger than Jimin but I'm bigger in every way ;)))
  • Jimin: (clears throat) you little shit it's hyung for you because I was born in Busan first
  • Jungkook: ...that didn't even rhyme dude...
  • Suga: you both suck so stfu
  • Jimin: can I at least be blindfolded again..
  • BTS:
  • RM: CAN WE PLEASE FOCUS AND GET BACK ON THE SUBJECT!!
Stoned love

Stop messing round with that fire,
Living like love is just a gun for hire,
Cos one moment its just messing round,
To your wiki saying she’s your spouse,
Oh but its not just girls,
Cos yeah one moment I was tearing off her blouse,
Now she says she’s living in my house,

Babe I know you said you’d never smoke pot,
Its just; that burned Like your first splif,
Now we just hanging around in the dark, you’re pale as a ghost.
Stop messing round now, cos am too stoned,
You’re know I can’t save you cos in this game am too gone,

She’s only seventeen, and thinks at sixteen am all there is,
But a degenerate kind, baby am definitely not what you need,
She wants to dance with devil, Mr brownstone is just grave,
Oh Y’know the drugs will drown her out, just too young,
Can’t believe this is my life, smoking and fucking in the back,

TEXTS FROM DARK AND ANTI: Part One

AIGHT so I’ve been trying to think of a cool way to get involved with the community hype of Mark reintroducing Dark. I like to contribute to these big events (I wrote a couple one-offs during Halloween when Anti’s big reveal was made), but I can’t draw worth shit and fanfiction doesn’t always get a whole lot of attention.

So I decided it’d be funny to do some text conversations between Dark and Anti! (Hopefully this hasn’t been done yet…..) I’m hoping to do a bunch of them continuing off each other if people seem to like them. We’ll see how it goes I guess. :)

  • BTS: Jungkook you're an adult now, you have to ask a girl out someday soon
  • Jungkook: w..what..? G..girl.? Why?
  • BTS: because you will eventually fall in love with someone
  • Jungkook: I'm already in a relationship..
  • BTS: WHAT! With who.?
  • Jikook looks at each other and smile sweetly
  • BTS: ew..
  • (I can seriously see this happening)
Negan attempting to write a Valentine's poem for Rick...
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b>*Writing*:</b> Roses are red,<p/><b></b> Your eyes are blue,<p/><b></b> Be my new bat?<p/><b></b> Because I wanna go swinging with you-<p/><b>Negan:</b> - Wait, I don't wanna share him!<p/><b>*Scribbles, writes*:</b> I wanna go fourth base with you-<p/><b>Negan:</b> - What am I, fuckin' 12?!<p/><b>* Scribbles, writes*:</b> I wanna hit you like a home ru-<p/><b>Negan:</b> - I can't do this rhyming shit! RICK?! JUST COME HERE AND GET ON THE FUCKIN' BED!<p/></p><p/></p><p/></p>
  • Taehyung: Roses are red
  • Violets are blue
  • My rap skills are good
  • Let me feature in cypher too
  • Namjoon: ...
  • J-hope: ..
  • Suga: Roses are red
  • Violets are blue
  • Your rap skills is shit
  • Go play with Jungkook