funny severus

Shit Slytherins Say on Valentine's Day: #8
  • Ravenclaw: "How much do you love me?"
  • Slytherin: "Well, look at the stars and count them. That's how much I love you."
  • Ravenclaw: "But it's morning."
  • Slytherin: "Exactly."
Draco when Scorpius tells him about Rose
  • Scorpius: Dad!! I have a date!
  • Draco: That's great! Albus is a really lucky boy, you know?
  • Scorpius: Albus? I'm talking about Rose...
  • Draco: Wh- what? Who the fuck is Rose, Scorpius? WHO THE FUCK IS ROSE?
  • Scorpius: Hum... Rose Granger-Weasley, dad
  • Draco: Sit down Scorpius, I have a story to tell you, the story of a boy who made all the wrong choices.
If you ever feel sad just remember that Snape had to teach Luna potions too

Snape: What…are you doing, Miss Lovegood?

Luna: I decided not to make this potion, Professor. It has bad energy.

Snape: You…what?

Luna: Bad energy. Bad. But I revitalized this flower for you from the ingredients and you can put it in your hair.

Snape: …..

Luna: I think it would look very nice on you. Keeps away the Wrackspurts, you know.

Snape: *awkward slides away*

  • scorpius, walking into the kitchen: is something burning
  • albus, leaning seductively on the counter: nothing but my desire for you
  • scorpius: albus the toaster is on fire