I love how in the beginning of FMAB the Philosopher’s Stone is perceived as a such a hard-to-find mythical thing, and then near the end it’s like “oh I just remembered I have a Philosopher’s Stone in my pocket” “what’s that lying on the floor?” “oh it’s a Philosopher’s Stone” “so who’s that bearded man with golden hair again?” “oh he’s a Philosopher’s Stone”
Once, in high school, I read an excerpt from an account by a Roman soldier of an unsuccessful attempt to take over part of Ireland or pre-Roman-influence Britain. He was talking about how he had been fighting a Celt man and had nearly beaten him.
Except he hadn’t counted on one thing.
The Celt was married.
Apparently, over the hill in high dudgeon came a giant of a woman with her whole body painted red. She stormed over to the Celt and the Roman like “Hey, who do you think you are, picking on my smol husband? Back off!”
And from what I remember reading, she knocked the Roman down, picked up her husband under one arm, and marched off.
Presumably, the Roman wasn’t too much the worse for wear, as he had to have survived long enough to write his “Celt women are terrifying” report.
Aries: your lips look so lonely…would they like to meet mine? Taurus: do you have a name or can i call you mine? Gemini: i’m writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and i was wondering if i could interview you. Cancer: on a scale of 1 to 10, you’re a 9, because i’m the 1 you need Leo: i’m learning about important dates in history. wanna be one of them? Virgo: if i received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, i’d have five cents. Libra: i want our love to be like pi, irrational and never ending. Scorpio: there’s a big sale in my bedroom right now. clothes are now 100% off! Sagittarius: is your dad an art thief? because you’re a masterpiece. Capricorn: guess what I’m wearing? the smile you gave me. Aquarius: if you were a potato, you’d be a sweet one. Pisces: your hand looks heavy. let me hold it for you.