funny pick

I love how in the beginning of FMAB the Philosopher’s Stone is perceived as a such a hard-to-find mythical thing, and then near the end it’s like
“oh I just remembered I have a Philosopher’s Stone in my pocket”
“what’s that lying on the floor?” “oh it’s a Philosopher’s Stone”
“so who’s that bearded man with golden hair again?” “oh he’s a Philosopher’s Stone”

Ancient history can be oddly amusing at times

Once, in high school, I read an excerpt from an account by a Roman soldier of an unsuccessful attempt to take over part of Ireland or pre-Roman-influence Britain. He was talking about how he had been fighting a Celt man and had nearly beaten him.

Except he hadn’t counted on one thing.

The Celt was married.

Apparently, over the hill in high dudgeon came a giant of a woman with her whole body painted red. She stormed over to the Celt and the Roman like “Hey, who do you think you are, picking on my smol husband? Back off!”

And from what I remember reading, she knocked the Roman down, picked up her husband under one arm, and marched off.
Presumably, the Roman wasn’t too much the worse for wear, as he had to have survived long enough to write his “Celt women are terrifying” report.


Sam: “hey Y/N, my love for you is like my hair: it just keeps growing and growing”

Y/N: “sammy, what’s happening….. What are you talking about?”

Dean: “nice try Sammy but what Y/N needs is something more straightforward. So what do you say Y/N, how about we exorcise our demons tonight?”

Y/N: “oh god it’s valentine’s day today isn’t it”

Castiel: “I’m not entirely sure what a valentine is but please consider fulfilling this position for me”

Y/N: “Cas not you too!”

Gabriel: “don’t worry Y/N but I need your help”

Y/N: “if this is one of those stupid pick up lines….”

Gabriel: “no no, but Y/N you’re the only fix for my sweet tooth”

Y/N: “I got to admit that one was pretty good”

Crowley: “wait till you hear mine”

Y/N: “I think I heard enough today”

Crowley: “ah come on Y/N, I deserve to be loved”

Lucifer: “if you get tired of these idiots you could always sacrifice yourself to me”

Y/N: “you guys are insufferable”

Dean: “only for you Y/N. Now let’s gonna get you some pie”

im not saying nina taught sonny to read, but that is what she tells people

the signs as pick up lines

Aries: your lips look so lonely…would they like to meet mine?
Taurus: do you have a name or can i call you mine?
Gemini: i’m writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and i was wondering if i could interview you.
Cancer: on a scale of 1 to 10, you’re a 9, because i’m the 1 you need
Leo: i’m learning about important dates in history. wanna be one of them?
Virgo: if i received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, i’d have five cents.
Libra: i want our love to be like pi, irrational and never ending.
Scorpio: there’s a big sale in my bedroom right now. clothes are now 100% off!
Sagittarius: is your dad an art thief? because you’re a masterpiece.
Capricorn: guess what I’m wearing? the smile you gave me.
Aquarius: if you were a potato, you’d be a sweet one.
Pisces: your hand looks heavy. let me hold it for you.