funny people pictures

Every day, Words With Friends shows me a “match of the day” person they say they hand-picked *just for me*, and want me to play against.

The suggestions are priceless.

First of all, roughly 50% are grandmas.

Another 20% are middleaged guys with sunglasses who reeeaaally like to take selfies in their cars.

#1 looks to be in a driver’s seat, whereas #2 is in a passenger sea– … wait, are they in the same car? 

Are they double-car-sunglasses-selfie buddies?!

I’m not entirely sure what’s happening in this photo… which one’s Jolene? Is she the too-bright one in the foreground with no face?

…also, where on earth are they? Tile floor, some kind of seating, floor-mounted computer kiosk… I’m so confused.

At least this shot makes sense.

These nice people just wanted to take a selfie with the damp pavement outside their house. I mean, hey, we’ve all been there.

At first, I thought the app was just suggesting some guy named Steve, but then I looked at the photo, and – plot twist – it appears Steve might actually be his last name.

This also raises the question of what mother decided to name their kid Tyler Steve.

…and the same goes for the mother that named her son Zyngawf 34260864.

Poor, poor Pippifuzz. They’re just a ghostly outline, doomed forever to haunt the halls of Words With Friends suggestions.

Brandon doesn’t have it much better, seeing as he’s a cloud of mist next to a bridge. At least he has a semi-corporeal body, unlike poor Pippifuzz.


Fred… Fred’s seen some hard times.

…also, yes, the Bumble wants to play Words With Friends with me. I’m flattered.

As does this dog.

As does–…

…wait… Gandalf?

GANDALF!

YOU’RE ALIVE

GANDALF IS ALIVE AND WANTS TO PLAY WORDS WITH FRIENDS WITH ME

Words With Friends continues to “hand-pick” one person a day that it wants me to play with.

I’m starting to notice some recurring themes. 

First of all, you’ve got:

  • Theme #1: Very Dangerous Children

Roseyb3′s 3-year-old is apparently allowed to pilot a boat, and the dad sees no issue with this situation.

I don’t care if her pre-k has a NASBLA-approved certification course – I, for one, wouldn’t trust her maritime judgements.

As cute as the scene is, Jake’s toddler, uh… worries me.

See that look on his face?

That’s the face of a kid who finds just a little too much joy in the all-consuming wrath of fire.

I can only imagine what he’s envisioning doing to his teething toys now.

Maybe he’ll team up with…

…Rob’s kid, who already has his action movie sunglasses ready. 

If they don’t form a buddy-cop duo as a grizzled by-the-book preschooler and a pyromaniac toddler, I’ll be very disappointed.

Of course, you also have:

  • Theme #2: The Real Names of Classic Characters

For instance, Google says this character’s name is The Great Gazoo, but as his Words WIth Friends account clearly shows…

…it was actually just “Gary” all along.

And you prolly thought Mighty Mouse’s name was Mighty Mouse, didn’t you?

Wrong. It’s Bob. Bob Mighty Mouse.

…also, there’s a sentient mustache named “Kwaffens.”

Learn something new every day.

The most-common theme by far, though, is:

  • Theme #3: Whose Photo Is It Anyway

Which is Kaylah, here? They’re both equally out-of-frame… your guess is as good as mine.

One of these shadow people is cathy. 

Who? No clue.

Maybe it’s actually the sunset that’s named Cathy.

Which of the pairs is Becky? Carol? Bob? Hmmmm?

…well, ok, we can make some good guesses, but still.

This last one’s a double since any of them might be Mark, and it appears at least one of them is young enough to count as Very Dangerous Children, too.

“Come on, kids! Suppertime!” “Aww, gee, ma, can’t we have just 5 more minutes on our Inexplicable Oversized Climbing Frame?”

Some people, though, are simpler to understand. 

They’re just from different dimensions.

Abbey, evidentially, comes from an alternate dimension where everything is rotated 140° to the left.

SuzanneC19 hails from dimension C19, where everyone is a letter floating in the ethereal void of yellow.

Not half as cool as dimension C-137, lemme tell ya.

Crissyteach, meanwhile, is from the dimension where everyone is a tree.

What more can you say?

Of them all, though, Joel…. Joel weirds me out the most. 

He appears to be visiting some manner of monument/shrine… which appears to be inscribed with a modified… 

…84 Lumber logo?

And the shrine is just, like, out in the middle of a desert somewhere?

…surrounded by what looks like might be barbed wire?

I don’t know what the heck is going on, but listen… if you’re reading this, and never hear from me again, tell my family that Joel from the 82 Lumber Cult Dimension got me.